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COMMENTS: 10 Doc crit C
1=Crit C: #N's documentary demonstrates careful consideration of relevant research and ideas are justified and supported. It is visually and verbally engaging in the authentic style of a documentary using effective voice-over and relevant soundtrack. It is clearly centered around a specific theme related to the novel with focused progression of ideas. There are insightful links and comparisons with your chosen real-world issue and location, with a range of pertinent and relevant quotations.
2=Crit C: #N's documentary demonstrates good understanding of relevant research and ideas are justified and supported. #E uses visual and verbal techniques of a documentary which are authentic to this genre. It is centered around a specific theme related to the novel with focused progression of ideas. There are relevant links and comparisons with the chosen real-world issue and location, with a range of well-chosen and relevant quotations used.
3=Crit C: #N's documentary demonstrates some evidence of relevant research and ideas are justified and supported. #N uses some visual and verbal techniques of a documentary but this is not consistent throughout. Although #N chose a specific theme related to the novel the development of ideas in relation to this is not always clear or relevant. There are some links and comparisons with the chosen real-world issue and location but at times these links are tenuous.
4=Crit C: #N's documentary demonstrates little consideration of relevant research, different perspectives. #N's use of visual and verbal techniques of a documentary are very simple and fail to engage the audience. The chosen theme is not entirely clear in relation to F451 and there is little development of ideas. The links and comparisons with the chosen real-world issue and location are unclear and lack development.

COMMENTS: 10 Doc crit C Next Steps
1=Work on making your final product more visually and verbally engaging by using video footage and other sound clips and audio rather than just your voice.
2=Work on explaining footage when necessary before moving on to another point.
3=Consider including interviews (with audio) to make your documentary more authentic.
4=Work on more frequently including conventional documentary content, such as interviews, live action shots, statistics, graphs, etc.
5=Consider adding audio content that is not narration, such as interviews, to enhance audience engagement and to make your documentary more authentic.
6=Consider adding more audio content that is not narration, such as interviews, to enhance audience engagement and to make your documentary more authentic.
7=Work on making your final product more visually and verbally engaging by spreading out the use of video footage throughout the documentary and including other sound clips and audio rather than just your voice.
8=Work on showing more awareness of audience (e.g. introduce the novel, issue, or provide sufficient context; adjust pacing and pause for processing, explain footage that needs contextualisation, etc.).
9=Work on including some less obvious and more insightful ideas and comparisons.
10=Consider your points and evidence critically to ensure all comparisons are relevant and effective.
11=However, the documentary is too short to adequately capture the depth and breadth of the issue nor to fully demonstrate #N's comparison skills.

COMMENTS: 10 Doc crit D
1=Crit D: #N's communication is clear and #e uses task appropriate vocabulary effectively. The register used (formal, informal, etc.) is an excellent fit and is justified for the documentary, it is highly effective in communicating #h ideas. #N has used interesting and relevant soundtracks, images, and video footage, and the documentary is structured in a logical manner. Sound quality and volume control is excellent and consistent throughout.
2=Crit D: #N's communication is mostly clear and uses task appropriate vocabulary well. The register used (formal, informal, etc.) is a good fit and is justified for the documentary, it is effective in communicating ideas. #E has used interesting and relevant soundtracks, images, and video footage, and the documentary is structured in a logical manner. Sound quality and volume control is very good and consistent throughout.
3=Crit D: #N's communication is mostly clear and uses task appropriate vocabulary well. The register used is somewhat too formal for a documentary. #E has used interesting and relevant soundtracks, images, and video footage, and the documentary is structured in a logical manner. Sound quality and volume control is very good and consistent throughout.
4=Crit D: #N's communication is sometimes clear and vocabulary is sometimes appropriate to the task. The register used (formal, informal, etc.) is a not always a good fit for the documentary and is not always effective in communicating ideas. #E has used some interesting and relevant soundtracks, images, and video footage, however sometimes the images used are not relevant to the ideas #N is trying to communicate.
5=Crit D: #N's communication is often confusing and vocabulary is not task specific. The register used (formal, informal, etc.) is a not always a good fit for the documentary and there is no change in tone to suit purpose. There are few/no relevant soundtracks and few relevant images, and video footage. #N's documentary does not follow a logical structure.

COMMENTS: 10 Doc crit D Next Steps
1=Work on avoiding awkward phrasing.
2=Consider how your language can sound less like an essay and more like a documentary.
3=Work on non-verbal techniques such as including an introduction and title to communicate your topic to the audience.
4=Work on more effectively applying non-verbal techniques (use music, video footage, better structure, and vary your intonation).
5=Work on a more concise structure and staying within the time limit.
6=The visuals sometimes seem random; work on ensuring that the visual footage and images more closely match or complement what is being said.
7=Work on elevating your vocabulary and using more precise language (avoid generalisations like "the government has full control of everything").
8=Work on elevating your vocabulary and using more precise language.

COMMENTS: 10 Doc Final Comment
1=Overall, this was an excellent documentary - it was entertaining and interesting. Links between the real-world context and Bradbury's social commentary are intelligent and insightful. Well done, #N.
2=Overall, this was a very good documentary - it was entertaining and interesting. Links between the real-world context and Bradbury's social commentary showed insightful understanding. Well done, #N.
3=Overall, this was a good effort in producing a documentary. You made some good links between the real-world context and Bradbury's social commentary. Good effort, #N.
4=Overall, this was more of an audio-visual presentation than a documentary, though you made some good links between the real-world context and Bradbury's social commentary. Good effort, #N.
5=Overall, more effort is needed, as your documentary does not meet the task requirements. You must always communicate with the teacher if you do not understand the task fully. You failed to make relevant links between the real-world context and Bradbury's social commentary. Consider carefully the comments here in order to improve your understanding and completion of future tasks.

COMMENTS: 10 POB Commentary A
1=#N has produced a GLA which shows #IBP2 understanding of the extract and the techniques which add to the overall meaning. Analysis is sharply focused and relevant to the task.
2=Most of #N's points are well supported, include relevant references to the extract, and are thoroughly analysed with an insightful discussion of the intended effect on the audience.
3=Analysis is a little repetitive and makes the same point several times. Going forward, ideas and evidence need to be better organized and made clear to the reader- you should use the reorganized PODCAST mnemonic (CAPODST) more effectively.
4=#N's GLA provided #IBP2 analysis of the audience, context, theme, and/or niche genre conventions; however, inconsistencies are apparent. A more significant breadth and depth of analysis is necessary to better satisfy the expectations of the assessment.
5=#N shows #IBP2 ability to recognize key techniques but struggles to link them convincingly to the purpose and audience through detailed, insightful analysis.
6=#N shows #IBP2 ability to recognize key techniques but does not always to link them convincingly to the purpose and audience through detailed, insightful analysis.
7=While #N clearly understood the content of the discussion, identification of specific techniques to achieve purpose is #h weakest area. Let's work on recognizing the technique and its effect for next time.
8=#N clearly understood the content, yet #e has not convincingly explored how production and performance techniques add to the overall message of the text. This is essential to achieve the upper grade awards in criterion A.
9=There is #IBP2 understanding of genre conventions with #IBP2 awareness of how an audience would respond.
10=#N justifies opinions and ideas with #IBP2 examples and explanations. Although there is some use of technical terminology, this needs to be more consistent.
11=#N demonstrated #IBP2 awareness of the effect of the creator's choices on an audience.
12=There is #IBP2 recognition of how key design and language choices affect the listener.
13=#N has shown #IBP2 insight into the motivations and techniques employed by the creator, and has used #IBP2 examples to support, link and expand #h points.
14=#N has shown #IBP2 awareness of techniques and their effect, but the analysis should be more comprehensive to achieve top marks.
15=#N has made good connections between the meaning, content and techniques employed in the extract, but #e simply hasn't been thorough enough in #h analysis. There are too many points which are ignored or not explored with enough depth. The 'niche' aspects of the extract are ignored or insufficiently addressed.
16=#N's analysis shows a disconnect in understanding between the evidence chosen and the potential reasons for doing so. It is not apparent that #e fully understands the podcaster's creative thought process, though #e does attempt to offer some reasoned comments.
17=#N has produced good analysis, but has not focused closely enough on the extract provided. Drawing from the rest of the text should only occur when it adds to the points noted in the extract.
18=#N has produced a GLA with some good analytical points, but has slightly misinterpreted the guiding question, leading to analysis which focuses more on character development than on theme, as required.

COMMENTS: 10 POB Commentary B
1=#N makes #9B use of paragraphing in order to create a cohesive GLA.
2=#E applied the correct analytical framework effectively which resulted in a #9B structure.
3=#H GLA is very well structured using an appropriate analytical framework and proper paragraphing.
4=#H paragraphs were centered around one main idea using an appropriate analytical framework and usually included clear topic and concluding sentences.
5=#E needs to more consistently apply an analytical framework like PEEL or PEAR effectively to support #h points.
6=#H paragraphs were centered around one main idea using the appropriate analytical framework (CAPODST), but were sometimes missing clear topic and concluding sentences.
7=#H GLA generally follows a logical order.
8=#H GLA consistently follows a logical order.
9=#H ideas somewhat build on each other from paragraph to paragraph without repetition.
10=#N's structure was flawed; topic sentences were unclear and the GLA did not follow a cohesive structure.
11=#N's paragraph structure was somewhat confusing: #e did use the PODCAST mnemonic, but did not organise #h points into a sensible and coherent order.
12=Topic sentences and links to task were clear, but the analysis within the paragraph was occasionally rambling and unfocused.

COMMENTS: 10 POB Commentary D
1=#N used an adequate range of appropriate vocabulary, sentence structures and forms of expression.
2=#N used a varied range of appropriate vocabulary, sentence structures and forms of expression competently.
3=#N effectively used a range of appropriate vocabulary, sentence structures and forms of expression.
4=#E also used grammar, syntax and punctuation with some degree of accuracy, however errors sometimes hindered communication.
5=#E used grammar, syntax and punctuation with a considerable degree of accuracy; errors did not hinder effective communication.
6=#E used grammar, syntax and punctuation with a high degree of accuracy; errors are minor and communication was effective.
7=#N should aspire to use a more appropriate formal register for an GLA.
8=#N writes competently using a formal register and style that is appropriate to an GLA.
9=#N writes using a consistently appropriate formal register and style that suits an GLA.
10=#N's use of language hindered meaning- #e must work to improve #h grammar and depth of vocabulary.
11=#E must work to further develop vocabulary, particularly in terms of critical expression.

COMMENTS: 10 POB Commentary end
1=#N's first piece of analytical writing has set a very high standard for the year. I hope this continues throughout Grade 10. Very well done!
2=#N's first piece of analytical writing has set a high standard for the year. I hope this continues throughout Grade 10. Well done!
3=#N's first piece of analytical writing is a good start for the year. #E should continue to build on this throughout Grade 10. Well done!
4=Overall, I am #myfeelings with #N's performance in the first GLA of the year. Very well done!
5=Overall, I am #myfeelings with #N's performance in the first GLA of the year. #E must work on the recommendations made and continue to develop the sophistication of #e analytical language throughout Grade 10.
6=#N's GLA shows promise, but #e will need to demonstrate a greater understanding of techniques and genre conventions if #e wishes to be successful this year.
7=If #e wishes to be successful in Grade 10, a significant improvement in writing style, register and technical accuracy is essential.
8=Ultimately, #N will need to show significantly improved effort, care and attention to detail in order to be successful in Grade 10
9=I have some concerns regarding the effort and quality of work shown by #N in the assignment. #E will need to work extremely hard to improve if #e wishes to achieve the grades needed to enter the Diploma program next year.

COMMENTS: 10 Podcast B
1=Your podcast made #B1 use of structure and organization which #B2 serve the content and intention. It was presented in a #B3 manner. Your script and process journal #B4 supported the creation of the podcast and #B5 illustrated your thought process and individual contribution to the development and creative process.

COMMENTS: 10 Podcast C
1=The content of your podcast was #podcast1. You have demonstrated #C1 personal engagement and #C1 insight, imagination and sensitivity in creating a #podcast2 product which makes #C1 reference to the stylistic conventions of the medium, and displays #C1 awareness of audience and purpose.

COMMENTS: 10 Podcast D
1=You employed #lang language, which was #D1 for your podcast. Vocabulary, voice tone and volume were #D2.

COMMENTS: 10 Podcast final
1=Overall, you have #Overall1 satisfied the criterion for this task, and created a #Overall2 podcast with #C1 attention to audience, purpose and the nature of the medium.

COMMENTS: 10 Poetry IO A 
1=You have produced a high quality and insightful comparative analysis of the key themes of the texts and structured it within a suitable framework of critical terminology. Outstanding effort.
2=Most of your points are well supported, include relevant references to the texts, and are thoroughly analysed with an insightful discussion of the intended effect on the audience. Well done.
3=There is #IBP2 recognition of how key language and stylistic choices affect the reader.
4=You demonstrated #IBP2 awareness of the effect of the creator's choices on an audience.
5=You have shown #IBP2 awareness of techniques and their effect, but the analysis should be more comprehensive to achieve top marks.
6=There is #IBP2 understanding of genre conventions with #IBP2 awareness of how an audience would respond.
7=You have provided good general evidence to examine, and recognised techniques well, but your analysis is often vague and non-specific to the evidence chosen.
8=Analysis is a little repetitive and makes the same point several times. Going forward, ideas and evidence need to be better organized and made clear to the reader.
9=You have shown #IBP2 insight into the motivations and techniques employed by the creator, and have used #IBP2 examples to support, link and expand your points.
10=You show #IBP2 ability to recognise key techniques but struggle to link them convincingly to the purpose and audience through detailed, insightful analysis.
11=Identification of specific techniques to achieve purpose is your weakest area-let's work on recognising the technique and its effect for next time.
12=Your oral analysis provided #IBP2 analysis of the audience, context, theme, and/or genre conventions; however, inconsistencies are apparent. A more significant breadth and depth of analysis is necessary to better satisfy the expectations of the assessment.
13=You justify opinions and ideas with #IBP2 examples and explanations. Although there is some use of technical terminology, this needs to be more consistent.
14=Your analysis shows a disconnect in understanding between the evidence (quotations, etc.) chosen and the potential reasons for doing so. It is not apparent that you fully understand the author's creative thought process, though you do attempt to offer some reasoned comments.
15=There is little attempt at reasoned analysis in your oral analysis. You must try to move beyond simply describing the events of the plot and focus more on the techniques the author uses to construct meaning.
16=Analysis of imagery does not look at the root of the image to make detailed and insightful connections often enough. Avoid simply explaining a technique's purpose.
17=You tend to focus on providing background information and general opinion, rather than analysing the specific content of the text through insightful technical and critical analysis.
18=While you raise some valid similarities and differences, your points are not always relevant in supporting your main thesis and in addressing the guiding question. Work on discussing only meaningful and relevant points of comparison.

COMMENTS: 10 Poetry IO A Next Steps
1=To improve: Discuss more original insights and consider how your thesis statement can be more significant and meaningful.
2=To improve: Discuss more original insights and connect all points and analysis to your thesis.
3=To improve: Work on deepening your analysis and including a more significant thesis statement.
4=To improve: Clearly and specifically answer the guiding question by stating the author's message or opinion about conflict rather than a general statement about what the texts are about.
5=To improve: Consistently relate all your ideas to the thesis in a non-repetitive way.
6=To improve: Analysis is a little repetitive and makes the same point several times. Going forward, ideas and evidence need to be better organized and made clear to the reader.
7=To improve: Analyse language and structure more consistently in your explanations.
8=To improve: Use more literary terminology to analyse language and structure more consistently in your explanations.
9=To improve: Identification of specific techniques to achieve purpose is your weakest area. Let's work on recognising the technique and its effect for next time.
10=To improve: Work on deepening your analysis. Answer the question "Why?" "How?" or "So what?" in a way that relates back to your point or thesis.
11=To improve: Work on choosing more significant points or pieces of evidence to discuss.
12=To improve: Work on supporting all your claims with convincing logic, analysis, and reasoning.
13=To improve: Discuss more consistently HOW the author’s choices help convey the message to the audience.
14=To improve: Discuss more consistently HOW the author’s choices affect the audience.
15=To improve: Analysis of imagery does not look at the root of the image to make detailed and insightful connections often enough. Avoid simply explaining a technique's purpose.
16=To improve: Instead of focusing on providing background information and general opinion, analyse the specific content of the text through insightful technical and critical analysis.
17=To improve: Do not retell the content of the poem or song without adding analysis.
18=To improve: Do not retell the content of the poem or song without adding analysis and clearly answering the guiding prompt.
19=To improve: While you raise some valid similarities and differences, your points are not always relevant in supporting your main thesis and in addressing the guiding question. Work on discussing only meaningful and relevant points of comparison.
20=To improve: Manage your time to be better able to finish the analysis and fully support your thesis within the time limit.

COMMENTS: 10 Poetry IO A Next Steps 2
1=Also: Discuss more original insights and consider how your thesis statement can be more significant and meaningful.
2=Also: Discuss more original insights and connect all points and analysis to your thesis.
3=Also: Work on deepening your analysis and including a more significant thesis statement.
4=Also: Clearly and specifically answer the guiding question by stating the author's message or opinion about conflict rather than a general statement about what the texts are about.
5=Also: Consistently relate all your ideas to the thesis in a non-repetitive way.
6=Also: Analysis is a little repetitive and makes the same point several times. Going forward, ideas and evidence need to be better organized and made clear to the reader.
7=Also: Analyse language and structure more consistently in your explanations.
8=Also: Use more literary terminology to analyse language and structure more consistently in your explanations.
9=Also: Identification of specific techniques to achieve purpose is your weakest area. Let's work on recognising the technique and its effect for next time.
10=Also: Work on deepening your analysis. Answer the question "Why?" "How?" or "So what?" in a way that relates back to your point or thesis.
11=Also: Work on choosing more significant points or pieces of evidence to discuss.
12=Also: Work on supporting all your claims with convincing logic, analysis, and reasoning.
13=Also: Discuss more consistently HOW the author’s choices help convey the message to the audience.
14=Also: Discuss more consistently HOW the author’s choices affect the audience.
15=Also: Analysis of imagery does not look at the root of the image to make detailed and insightful connections often enough. Avoid simply explaining a technique's purpose.
16=Also: Instead of focusing on providing background information and general opinion, analyse the specific content of the text through insightful technical and critical analysis.
17=Also: Do not retell the content of the poem or song without adding analysis.
18=Also: Do not retell the content of the poem or song without adding analysis and clearly answering the guiding prompt.
19=Also: While you raise some valid similarities and differences, your points are not always relevant in supporting your main thesis and in addressing the guiding question. Work on discussing only meaningful and relevant points of comparison.
20=Also: Manage your time to be better able to finish the analysis and fully support your thesis within the time limit.

COMMENTS: 10 Poetry IO B
1=Your oral analysis is very well structured using logical oral “paragraphing”.
2=You make #9B use of oral “paragraphing” in order to create a cohesive oral analysis. Analysis flowed logically and built on the previous point effectively.
3=You applied the analysis framework effectively which resulted in a #9B structure. Analysis within oral “paragraphs” was #degreeadverbs considered and logical in its order.
4=Your oral “paragraphs” were centered around one main idea using an appropriate PEAL/PEEL structure and usually included clear topic and concluding sentences.
5=Your oral “paragraphs” were centered around one main idea using a PEAL/PEEL structure, but were sometimes missing clear topic and concluding sentences.
6=Your oral analysis consistently follows a logical order.
7=Your oral analysis generally follows a logical order.
8=Your ideas somewhat build on each other from oral “paragraph” to “paragraph” without repetition.
9=You attempted to use oral “paragraphs” but did not clearly follow the PEAL/PEEL structure or include clear topic and/or linking sentences.
10=You must use proper oral “paragraphs” to aid organization by grouping similar points and ideas together in one section.

COMMENTS: 10 Poetry IO B Next Steps
1=To improve: Think about how to build on ideas in more sophisticated and original ways.
2=To improve: Think about how you could vary your structure to enhance the reader's interest.
3=To improve: Introduce all evidence by explaining the context or significance of the quotation.
4=To improve: Add concluding sentences at the end of each oral body “paragraph” to summarise and connect your points to your thesis in an insightful way.
5=To improve: Some ideas are repeated; work on building ideas from oral “paragraph” to “paragraph” without any repetition.
6=To improve: Use clear transitional language to aid your overall sentence flow and indicate when you begin a new oral “paragraph”.
7=To improve: Re-read your work and ask yourself if the ideas flow logically from one sentence to another.
8=To improve: Clearly include a thesis statement in the introduction and consistently link back to it in your topic sentences.
9=To improve: Include clear topic sentences and consistently link back to the thesis and essay prompt.
10=To improve: Include sufficient subpoints to introduce, maintain, and summarise your thesis.
11=To improve: Ensure you have enough subpoints for a convincing analysis.
12=To improve: Use PEAL/PEEL more consistently.
13=To improve: Ensure your introduction clearly outlines what you will discuss and use clear topic sentences and transitions to make your analysis flow.
14=To improve: Include topic sentences to make your ideas clearer.
15=To improve: Review the proper structure of a comparative analysis.
16=To improve: Read the task sheet to ensure you meet the criteria for the task.

COMMENTS: 10 Poetry IO B Next Steps 2
1=Also: Think about how to build on ideas in more sophisticated and original ways.
2=Also: Think about how you could vary your structure to enhance the reader's interest.
3=Also: Introduce all evidence by explaining the context or significance of the quotation.
4=Also: Add concluding sentences at the end of each oral body “paragraph” to summarise and connect your points to your thesis in an insightful way.
5=Also: Some ideas are repeated; work on building ideas from oral “paragraph” to “paragraph” without any repetition.
6=Also: Use clear transitional language to aid your overall sentence flow and indicate when you begin a new oral “paragraph”.
7=Also: Re-read your work and ask yourself if the ideas flow logically from one sentence to another.
8=Also: Clearly include a thesis statement in the introduction and consistently link back to it in your topic sentences.
9=Also: Include clear topic sentences and consistently link back to the thesis and essay prompt.
10=Also: Include sufficient subpoints to introduce, maintain, and summarise your thesis.
11=Also: Ensure you have enough subpoints for a convincing analysis.
12=Also: Use PEAL/PEEL more consistently.
13=Also: Ensure your introduction clearly outlines what you will discuss and use clear topic sentences and transitions to make your analysis flow.
14=Also: Include topic sentences to make your ideas clearer.
15=Also: Review the proper structure of a comparative analysis.
16=Also: Read the task sheet to ensure you meet the criteria for the task.

COMMENTS: 10 Poetry IO Crit A Rubric
1=Crit A: Your oral analysis provides perceptive analysis of the content, context, language, structure, technique, style of text(s) and the relationship among texts. It perceptively analyses the effects of the creator's choices on an audience and gives detailed justification of opinions and ideas with a range of examples, and thorough explanations. It uses accurate terminology and perceptively compares and contrasts by making extensive connections in features across texts.
2=Crit A: Your oral analysis competently analyses the content, context, language, structure, technique, style of text(s) and the relationship among texts. It competently analyses the effects of the creator's choices on an audience and sufficiently justifies opinions and ideas with examples and explanations. It uses accurate terminology and evaluates similarities and differences by making substantial connections in features across texts.
3=Crit A: Your oral analysis provides adequate analysis of the content, context, language, structure, technique and style of text(s) and the relationship among texts. It provides adequate analysis of the effects of the creator's choices on an audience. It justifies opinions and ideas with some examples and explanations, though this may not be consistent and uses some terminology. It evaluates some similarities and differences by making adequate connections in features across texts.
4=Crit A: Your oral analysis provides limited analysis of the content, context, language, structure, technique and style of text(s) and the relationship among texts. It provides limited analysis of the effects of the creator's choices on an audience and rarely justifies opinions and ideas with examples or explanations. It uses little or no terminology and evaluates few similarities and differences by making minimal connections in features texts.

COMMENTS: 10 Poetry IO Crit B Rubric
1=Crit B: Your oral analysis makes sophisticated use of organisational structures that serve the context and intention effectively. It effectively organises opinions and ideas in a sustained, coherent and logical manner with ideas building on each other in a sophisticated way.
2=Crit B: Your oral analysis makes competent use of organisational structures that serve the context and intention. It organises opinions and ideas in a coherent and logical manner with ideas building on each other.
3=Crit B: Your oral analysis makes adequate use of organisational structures that serve the context and intention. It organises opinions and ideas with some degree of coherence and logic.
4=Crit B: Your oral analysis makes minimal use of organisational structures and these do not always serve the context and intention. It organises opinions and ideas with a minimal degree of coherence and logic.

COMMENTS: 10 Poetry IO Crit D Rubric
1=Crit D: Your oral analysis effectively uses a range of appropriate vocabulary, sentence structures and forms of expression in a consistently appropriate register and style that serve the context and intention. It uses grammar, syntax, spelling and punctuation with a high degree of accuracy; errors are minor, and communication is effective.
2=Crit D: Your oral analysis uses a competent range of vocabulary, sentence structures and forms of expression, sometimes in a register and style that serve the context and intention. It uses grammar, syntax, spelling and punctuation with some degree of accuracy; errors sometimes hinder communication.
3=Crit D: Your oral analysis uses an adequate range of appropriate vocabulary, sentence structures and forms of expression, sometimes in a register and style that serve the context and intention. It uses grammar, syntax, spelling and punctuation with some degree of accuracy; errors sometimes hinder communication.
4=Crit D: Your oral analysis uses a limited range of appropriate vocabulary and forms of expression in an inappropriate register and style that do not serve the context and intention. It uses grammar, syntax and punctuation with limited accuracy; errors often hinder communication.

COMMENTS: 10 Poetry IO D
1=You used an adequate range of appropriate vocabulary, sentence structures and forms of expression.
2=You used a varied range of appropriate vocabulary, sentence structures and forms of expression competently.
3=You effectively used a range of appropriate vocabulary, sentence structures and forms of expression.
4=You also used grammar, syntax and punctuation with some degree of accuracy, however errors sometimes hindered communication.
5=You used grammar, syntax and punctuation with a considerable degree of accuracy; errors did not hinder effective communication.
6=You used grammar, syntax and punctuation with a high degree of accuracy; errors are minor and communication was effective.
7=You should aspire to use a more appropriate formal register for an GLA.
8=You write competently using a formal register and style that is appropriate to an GLA.
9=You write using a consistently appropriate formal register and style that suits an GLA.
10=Your use of language hindered meaning-You must work to improve your grammar and depth of vocabulary.
11=You must work to further develop vocabulary, particularly in terms of critical expression.

COMMENTS: 10 Poetry IO D Next Steps
1=To improve: Work on avoiding awkward phrasing.
2=To improve: Consider how you could use your volume, tone of voice, and pace to communicate more effectively to your audience.
3=To improve: Work on using a more concise structure and staying within the time limit.
4=To improve: Work on elevating your vocabulary and using more precise language (e.g. avoid generalisations and vague wording, use correct terminology, etc.).
5=To improve: Think about how you could use your language to add a higher level of sophistication to your analysis.
6=To improve: Work on speaking in a clearer, more direct style for a listening audience, as your sentences are sometimes too wordy, or your overall meaning is unclear.
7=To improve: Work on speaking more concisely and not using more words than necessary to express an idea.
8=To improve: Try to use a wider range of sentence structures (such as varying the beginning of your sentences) to make your oration even more sophisticated.
9=To improve: Use a wider range of extended vocabulary and follow all the rules of formal speaking to make your oration more impressive.
10=To improve: Use a wider range of extended vocabulary and sentence structure to make your oration more impressive.
11=To improve: Use a wider range of literary and academic terminology and ensure your use is accurate.
12=To improve: Listen your analysis again to pay attention to grammatical or pronunciation errors.
13=To improve: Listen your analysis again to pay attention to grammatical or pronunciation errors that could be easily avoided.
14=To improve: Read the task sheet to ensure you meet the criteria for the task.

COMMENTS: 10 Poetry IO D Next Steps 2
1=Also: Work on avoiding awkward phrasing.
2=Also: Consider how you could use your volume, tone of voice, and pace to communicate more effectively to your audience.
3=Also: Work on using a more concise structure and staying within the time limit.
4=Also: Work on elevating your vocabulary and using more precise language (e.g. avoid generalisations and vague wording, use correct terminology, etc.).
5=Also: Think about how you could use your language to add a higher level of sophistication to your analysis.
6=Also: Work on speaking in a clearer, more direct style for a listening audience, as your sentences are sometimes too wordy, or your overall meaning is unclear.
7=Also: Work on speaking more concisely and not using more words than necessary to express an idea.
8=Also: Try to use a wider range of sentence structures (such as varying the beginning of your sentences) to make your oration even more sophisticated.
9=Also: Use a wider range of extended vocabulary and follow all the rules of formal speaking to make your oration more impressive.
10=Also: Use a wider range of extended vocabulary and sentence structure to make your oration more impressive.
11=Also: Use a wider range of literary and academic terminology and ensure your use is accurate.
12=Also: Listen your analysis again to pay attention to grammatical or pronunciation errors.
13=Also: Listen your analysis again to pay attention to grammatical or pronunciation errors that could be easily avoided.
14=Also: Read the task sheet to ensure you meet the criteria for the task.

COMMENTS: 10 Poetry IO Final Comment
1=Overall, this was an excellent summative oral analysis. Very well done, #N!
2=Overall, this was a very good summative oral analysis. Build on this performance moving forward. Well done, #N!
3=Overall, this was a good summative oral analysis. Well done, #N!
4=Overall, your oral analysis showed promise, but you will need to demonstrate a greater understanding of techniques and genre conventions moving forward. Keep up the effort, #N.
5=Overall, your oral analysis showed promise, but you will need to demonstrate a greater understanding of techniques and genre conventions. Keep up the effort, #N.
6=Overall, I feel you can improve further. I have yet to see your best work, #N.
7=Overall, you will need to show significantly improved effort, care and attention to detail if you wish to achieve the required standard in the DP, #N.
8=Overall, you will need to show significantly improved effort, care and attention to detail if you wish to achieve the required standard for Grade 11, #N.
9=Overall, I have some concerns regarding the effort and quality of work shown thus far. You will need to work extremely hard to improve your oral analytical skills, #N.
10=Overall, I have some concerns regarding the effort and quality of work shown thus far. You will need to work extremely hard to improve to be ready for Grade 11, #N.

COMMENTS: 11 comments test
1=#N is an outstanding student who has worked very hard throughout the #Time-period.
2=#N has had a mixed #Time-period but there are signs of improvement in #h work of late.
3=After a difficult start #N has done some excellent work and is now back on target.
4=#N is a hard-working student and has put in a steady performance throughout the #Time-period.
5=#N has made some progress in #h knowledge and understanding of French this year.
6=#N has made good progress this year in French.
7=#N has made good progress in #h knowledge and understanding of French this year.
8=#E is a caring student who participates sometimes in group discussions.
9=#H classwork and homework are of good quality.
10=#N achieved a level 6 in #h mock assessments, which is promising in #h first year of French Ab Initio.
11=#N achieved a level 5 in #h mock assessments.
12=In the Paper 1 writing task, #e earned a level 6 and demonstrated an ability to respond, understand, and write using different conventions effectively.
13=In the Paper 1 writing task, #e earned a level 5 and demonstrated a good ability to respond, understand, and write using different conventions somewhat effectively.
14=In the Paper 1 writing task, #e earned a level 4 and demonstrated some ability to respond, understand, and write using different conventions.
15=#E is highly encouraged to use past papers to help #h practice text-handling skills and #h approach to some questions as in Paper 2 #e obtained a level 3.
16=#E must keep up the effort and challenge #s to consistently produce work that reflects #h capabilities.
17=Keep up the excellent work, #N!
18=Keep up the good effort, #N!
19=You should be proud of your progress, #N!
20=You can do it, #N!

COMMENTS: 7 Children's book Closer
1=Overall, this is a fantastic, engaging and very creative children’s book that is accessible to a younger audience. Well done!
2=Overall, this is an impressive, age-appropriate, and engaging children’s book. Well done!
3=Overall, this is a very good attempt at a children's book. There are minor ways you could improve this grade by using characterisation more effectively and engaging in a more meaningful way with your chosen theme. Good work!
4=Overall, this is a good attempt at creating an age-appropriate and engaging story for a younger audience. Keep up the effort!
5=Overall, there are some good examples of trying to create an age-appropriate and engaging story. Engage with peer and teacher feedback to improve your grade next time.
6=Overall, your engagement with the task is adequate. There are many areas for improvement and your planning and engagement level are a good place to start.
7=Overall, your engagement with the task is limited. There are many areas for improvement and your planning and engagement level are a good place to start.
8=Overall, your engagement with the task is very limited. There are many areas for improvement and your planning and engagement level are a good place to start.

COMMENTS: 7 Children's book Crit C 1
1=Crit C: 8 - Your final product shows an excellent level of planning and drafting, and it is evident that a lot of time, thought and effort has gone into creating this age-appropriate and engaging piece of writing. Your illustrations are original, impressive and thought-provoking and your linguistic choices strike an impressive balance between what the students already know and what will help challenge their understanding.
2=Crit C: 7 - Your final product shows a high degree of planning and drafting. It is very clear that an impressive amount of time and effort has been put into creating your age-appropriate children’s book. Your illustrations are effective, and your linguistic choices strike a good balance between what the students already know and what will help to challenge them. Work on choosing more original elements to provoke thought.
3=Crit C: 6 - Your final product shows a considerable level of planning and drafting. It is evident that you have invested a lot of time and effort into making an age-appropriate children’s book. Your use of illustrations and linguistic choices (e.g. figurative language) are appropriate to your chosen age group, but the opportunity to challenge the students appropriately was not always taken.
4=Crit C: 5 - Your final product shows a good level of planning and drafting. It is clear you have put time and thought into this. Your use of illustrations and linguistic choices (e.g. figurative language) are mostly appropriate to your chosen age group, but some choices may not be appropriately challenging.
5=Crit C: 4 - Your final product shows an acceptable level of planning and draft work, as do your efforts and creative investment. Your use of illustrations and creative expressions through language are sometimes appropriate to your chosen age group.
6=Crit C: 3 - Your final product shows adequate planning and draft work, as well as effort and creativity. Your story and illustrations demonstrate some thought, imagination and sensitivity to the age group.
7=Crit C: 2 - Your final product shows limited planning and draft work, as well as effort and creativity. Your story and illustrations demonstrate limited thought, imagination and sensitivity to the age group.
8=Crit C: 1 - Your final product shows little to no planning and draft work, as well as effort and creativity. Your story and illustrations demonstrate limited thought, imagination and sensitivity to the age group.

COMMENTS: 7 Children's book Crit C 2
1=Your moral or message is thoughtful, clear from the beginning, and excellently woven into the narrative.
2=Your moral or message is clear and impressively woven into the narrative.
3=It is clear what your moral or message is in the story, making it easy for your audience to understand.
4=It is mostly clear what your moral or message is in the story; however, there are still opportunities to weave this into the story more consistently.
5=Your moral or message is usually clear, but spend more time and effort developing this throughout the book.
6=It is not always clear what the moral or message is behind your book.
7=It is not clear what the moral or message is behind your book.
8=There does not appear to be a moral or message for your story.

COMMENTS: 7 Children's book Crit C 3
1=The book fits seamlessly into your chosen genre and it is evident you have a perceptive awareness of what is expected within this genre.
2=The book also uses a good range of conventions expected within this genre.
3=Your book also reflects this genre well.
4=Your chosen genre is mostly clear; however, try to familiarise yourself with a wider range of conventions for that genre.
5=It is usually clear that your book belongs in the children's book genre, but this could be developed by exploring more conventions of this genre.
6=It is difficult at times to understand what your intended genre is. Work on more clearly showing the key features of the children's book genre.
7=It is difficult to understand what your intended genre is. Work on including the key features of the children's book genre.
8=This book does not have enough of the key features of the children's book genre.

COMMENTS: 7 Children's book Crit D 1
1=Crit D: 8 - The language used is consistently engaging and appropriate to the task. You have used an appropriate tone throughout the book. The sentence types and linguistic choices shown demonstrate a perceptive awareness of the effect on your young readers.
2=Crit D: 7 - The language used is mostly engaging and is consistently appropriate to the task. You have used an appropriate tone throughout the book and your choices clearly demonstrate a detailed awareness of your audience. The sentence types being used in the book show some awareness of the effect on your reader.
3=Crit D: 6 - The language used is appropriate to the task and there are consistent attempts to change vocabulary to engage the reader. You have consistently used an appropriate tone throughout. Different sentence types are being used consistently throughout the book.
4=Crit D: 5 - The language you have used is appropriate to the task and there are some attempts to use vocabulary to engage and challenge your young reading audience. You have mostly used an appropriate tone throughout. There are some attempts at using different sentence types to engage the reader, but this needs to be more consistent.
5=Crit D: 4 - The language you have used clearly demonstrates an awareness of your young target audience, but the opportunity to use engaging or challenging vocabulary has not been taken. Using other sentence types will make the writing stand out (simple, compound, complex).
6=Crit D: 3 - You have adequate variation in your vocabulary, though your language is not always appropriate for a children’s book (too formal or informal). There are few attempts to challenge your young readers with the language you have used. Try using some other sentence types (simple, compound, complex).
7=Crit D: 2 - You have a limited range of vocabulary and your language is often not appropriate for a children’s book (too formal or too informal). There is little to no attempt to challenge your young readers with the language you have used. Try using some other sentence types (simple, compound, complex).
8=Crit D: 1 - Criterion D: You have a limited range of vocabulary and your language is not appropriate for a children’s book (too formal or too informal). There is no attempt to challenge your young readers with the language you have used. Try using some other sentence types (simple, compound, complex).

COMMENTS: 7 Children's book Crit D 2
1=Spelling, punctuation and grammar are correct throughout, even for more sophisticated words or phrases.
2=Spelling, punctuation, and grammar are accurate throughout and some attempts at using challenging words or phrases for your younger audience is evident.
3=Spelling, punctuation, and grammar are generally accurate with only minor unjustified errors.
4=There are some spelling and grammar errors in the book, but this does not affect the overall meaning of the work.
5=Various spelling and grammar errors in the book sometimes make it difficult to understand what you are trying to say. Proofread your work and use a grammar check application to avoid careless errors.
6=Spelling and grammar errors in the book make it difficult to understand what you are trying to say. Please make sure your work is proofread before submitting.
7=Spelling and grammar errors in the book make it difficult to understand what you are trying to say. Proofread work before submitting.
8=Frequent spelling and grammar errors in the book often make it difficult to understand what you are trying to say. Proofread work before submitting.

COMMENTS: 7 Children's book Crit D 3
1=Your illustrations work seamlessly with the text to enhance the reader’s understanding and engagement of the story.
2=Your illustrations work well with the text to enhance the reader’s understanding of the story.
3=Your illustrations help your reader understand and be engaged in the story.
4=Your illustrations help your reader understand the story.
5=Your illustrations usually help your reader understand the story.
6=Your illustrations sometimes help your reader understand the story.
7=Your illustrations should be better chosen to help your reader understand the story.
8=Your illustrations do not always help your reader understand the story.
9=Your illustrations need more detail to help your reader better understand and be engaged in the story.
10=Key points or scenes are not illustrated, or your illustrations are not detailed enough.
11=Key points or scenes are not illustrated, or your illustrations are not original.
12=Your book is missing illustrations.

COMMENTS: 7 Giver Essay Criterion A
1=Crit A: 8 - Your thesis statement insightfully answers the essay prompt and is well formulated. Your points have been explained in excellent detail and your choice of evidence helps develop your ideas effectively. You have demonstrated a clear awareness of literary devices being used and linked your analysis back to the question. The use of connections across various events in the text is impressive. Well done!
2=Crit A: 7 -Your thesis statement insightfully answers the essay prompt. Your points have been explained in excellent detail and your choice of evidence helps develop your ideas even further. You have demonstrated a clear awareness of literary devices being used and linked your analysis back to the question. There is a good level of comparing and contrasting.
3=Crit A: 6 - Your thesis statement clearly answers the essay prompt well and is well formulated. Your points have been thoroughly explained throughout the essay and your use of evidence is effective in helping further develop your ideas. There is some comparing and contrasting evident.
4=Crit A: 5 - Your thesis statement clearly answers the essay prompt and states the general lessons learned. You have explained some of your points well and used appropriate evidence that is relevant to the question. There is some comparing and contrasting, but this could be more deliberate.
5=Crit A: 4 - Make sure your thesis statement clearly answers the essay prompt and states general lessons learned. There are some attempts to explain your ideas, but these are often not connected to the evidence you have chosen. There are some attempts at comparing and contrasting.
6=Crit A: 3 - Your thesis statement is missing or unclear, though your ideas are on topic. You have used little or no explanation of your points. You have not included any evidence to support your ideas. There are few attempts at comparing and contrasting.
7=Crit A: 2 - Your thesis statement is missing or unclear, or your ideas are off-topic. You have used little or no explanation of your points and are mostly retelling the story. You have not included any evidence to support your ideas. There are very few attempts at comparing and contrasting.
8=Crit A: 1 - Your thesis statement is missing or unclear, or your ideas are off-topic. You have used little or no explanation of your points and are mostly retelling the story. You have not included any evidence to support your ideas. There are no attempts at comparing and contrasting.

COMMENTS: 7 Giver Essay Criterion A - next steps
1=To improve: try to make connections between your chosen evidence and patterns throughout the novel (think about characters or conflicts elsewhere).
2=To improve: think of ways to compare and contrast ideas, characters, or situations to support your ideas.
3=To improve: ensure you conduct closer literary analysis by using more literary terminology.
4=To improve: ensure you express an awareness of literary devices being used in the text and what effect they have.
5=To improve: ensure all your explanations link back to the question and are relevant.
6=To improve: make sure you use evidence from the text to help support your ideas and that all explanations link back to the question and are relevant.
7=To improve: clearly answer the question and support your answer with evidence and explanations.
8=To improve: do not retell the story; instead, focus on analysis and on explaining how your evidence supports your points and your thesis.

COMMENTS: 7 Giver Essay Criterion B
1=Crit B: 8 - Your essay has a clear and detailed introduction and conclusion. Your body paragraphs are also well-structured with lots of transitional words and phrases which allows the analysis to progress from one idea to the next naturally. Your opening was very engaging and your conclusion left the reader with an interesting thought to explore. Well done!
2=Crit B: 7 - Your essay has a clear and detailed introduction and conclusion. Your body paragraphs are also well-structured with lots of transitional words and phrases which allows the analysis to progress from one idea to the next naturally.
3=Crit B: 6 - Your essay has a clear and detailed introduction and conclusion. Your body paragraphs are also well-structured which allows the analysis to progress from one idea to the next.
4=Crit B: 5 - Your essay has clear introductory and concluding paragraphs, but they need to be more detailed. Your body paragraphs are also well-structured which allows the analysis to progress from one idea to the next.
5=Crit B: 4 - There are some attempts to organise your essay with a mostly structured introduction and some uses of topic sentences in the body paragraphs.
6=Crit B: 3 - There are some attempts to structure your essay however it is not clear where one point ends and another begins.
7=Crit B: 2 - There are very few attempts to structure your essay. It is not clear how your body paragraphs relate to the question. There is little to no use of PEEL/SEEL structure.
8=Crit B: 1 - There are virtually no attempts to structure your essay in a logical way. It is not clear how your body paragraphs relate to the question. There is little to no use of PEEL/SEEL structure.

COMMENTS: 7 Giver Essay Criterion B - next steps
1=To improve: think about how you could create an engaging opening to the essay and a thoughtful conclusion to encourage the reader to think of your chosen theme outside the novel.
2=To improve: add concluding sentences at the end of each body paragraph to summarise and connect your points to your thesis in a general way.
3=To improve: follow proper MLA format and introduce all quotations effectively.
4=To improve: ensure you are using transitional words and phrases not only at the beginning of paragraphs but also throughout to ensure your analysis flows even more.
5=To improve: include a concluding statement at the end of each body paragraph to briefly summarise your ideas and relate them to the thesis.
6=To improve: make sure your introduction clearly outlines what you are trying to say and use your conclusion to summarise clearly what you have already said.
7=To improve: include a topic sentence with your point at the beginning of your body paragraphs to make your ideas link to your thesis in a clear way.
8=To improve: review the proper structure of an essay and include an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
9=To improve: review the proper structure of an essay and include an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, as well as PEEL structure.
10=To improve: follow a clear argumentative structure like PEEL to support your ideas.
11=To improve: include varied transitional language between body paragraphs.

COMMENTS: 7 Giver Essay Criterion D
1=Crit D: 8 - Your language is formal and appropriate throughout. You have included a range of transitional words and phrases. Spelling, sentence structure and punctuation are correct, and it is clear you have used a variety of extended vocabulary, sentence types and punctuation to make your writing style sophisticated and mature. Excellent job!
2=Crit D: 7 - Your language is formal and appropriate throughout. You have included a range of transitional words and phrases. Spelling, sentence structure and punctuation are correct, and it is clear you have used a variety of extended vocabulary.
3=Crit D: 6 - Your language is formal and appropriate throughout. You have included a range of transitional words and phrases. Spelling, sentence structure and punctuation are correct. There are some attempts at using sophisticated words and phrasing.
4=Crit D: 6 - Your language is mostly formal and appropriate throughout. You have included a range of transitional words and phrases. Spelling, sentence structure and punctuation are correct. There are some attempts at using sophisticated words and phrasing.
5=Crit D: 5 - Your language is mostly formal and appropriate with some lapses. You have included some transitional words and phrases. Spelling, sentence structure and punctuation are mostly correct with some errors.
6=Crit D: 4 - Your language is sometimes formal but there are some uses of informal language too. Spelling, sentence structure and punctuation are correct in places but there are many careless mistakes.
7=Crit D: 3 - Your language is informal through most of the essay, meaning your style of writing is not always appropriate to the task. Spelling, sentence structure and punctuation are correct in places but there are many careless mistakes.
8=Crit D: 2 - Your language is informal through most of the essay, meaning your style of writing is not always appropriate to the task. Spelling, sentence structure and punctuation are often incorrect in places and this makes it difficult to follow your ideas.
9=Crit D: 1 - Your language is informal through almost all of the essay, meaning your style of writing is not appropriate to the task. Spelling, sentence structure and punctuation are often incorrect in places and this makes it difficult to follow your ideas.

COMMENTS: 7 Giver Essay Criterion D - next steps
1=To improve: try to use a wider range of sentence structures and punctuation to make your writing style even more sophisticated.
2=To improve: use a wider range of extended vocabulary to make your writing style more impressive.
3=To improve: use a wider range of extended vocabulary and literary terminology to make your writing style more impressive.
4=To improve: use a wider range of extended vocabulary and literary terminology. Also, follow all the rules of formal writing to make your writing style more impressive.
5=To improve: use more literary terminology.
6=To improve: use a wider range of extended vocabulary and sentence structure to make your writing style more impressive.
7=To improve: use a wider range of extended vocabulary and follow all the rules of formal writing to make your writing style more impressive.
8=To improve: use extended vocabulary to add a level of sophistication to your writing.
9=To improve: read through your essay again to look out for errors that could be easily avoided.
10=To improve: review the difference between formal and informal writing and read through your essay again to identify errors that could be easily avoided.
11=To improve: read through your essay again to identify errors that could be easily avoided and use a Grammar Check program to help you.
12=To improve: review proper punctuation rules for full sentences.

COMMENTS: 7 Giver essay Overall final comment
1=Overall, this is an outstanding effort that showcases a superb understanding of the novel and of essay structure. A great start to Grade 7!
2=Overall, this is an excellent effort that showcases a solid understanding of the novel and of essay structure. Continue to refine the subtle aspects of your analytical thinking and writing. Well done!
3=Overall, this is a very good effort that showcases a good understanding of the novel and of essay structure. Work on the recommended improvements to push towards top-band performance. Great work!
4=Overall, this is a good effort that showcases reasonable understanding of the novel and of essay structure. Work hard on the recommended improvements to cement your grade. Let's push on!
5=Overall, you will need to review our essay writing materials if you are to progress to the next level, but I know you can do it. See me if you have any questions.
6=Overall, I know you can get this; you’ve shown good analytical skills before. Let’s work on applying it to novels and essays. See me if you have any questions.
7=Overall, this essay showcases little understanding of the novel and of essay structure. You will have to work exceedingly hard on my recommendations and improve your general level of effort if you wish to progress to the next level. There is still time, but you must start now.
8=Overall, this essay doesn't meet the requirements of the task in numerous areas and shows very little understanding of the novel and of essay structure. Without significantly improved effort and dedication to your studies, you will struggle to progress.
9=Overall, you have failed to submit the work to an adequate standard and have therefore earned a grade of zero for this task.

COMMENTS: 7 Improvement from Poetry Analysis
1=Great improvement from the poetry analysis!
2=Some improvement from the poetry analysis!
3=Keep working to improve your analysis, organisation, and writing.
4=There was little improvement from the poetry analysis. Use teacher feedback to improve your analysis, organisation, and writing.

COMMENTS: 7 Poetry Analysis Crit A
1=Crit A: You clearly identified the theme of each poem and your understanding is detailed and perceptive. You have identified a great range of the author's creative choices, some of which are very sophisticated. You have judiciously chosen evidence to support your understanding effectively. Your commentary on the effect on the reader is highly perceptive and detailed throughout. Your opinion was well supported with evidence and insightful.
2=Crit A: You clearly identified the theme of each poem and your understanding is detailed, though could be more perceptive. You have identified a great range of the author's creative choices and used appropriate evidence to support your ideas effectively. Your commentary on the effect on the reader is sometimes perceptive and in-depth. Your opinion was well supported with evidence.
3=Crit A: You clearly identified the theme of one poem and your understanding is detailed but could be more in-depth and perceptive. You have also identified a range of creative choices from the author and used appropriate evidence to support your understanding effectively. Your commentary on the effect on the reader is clear and detailed throughout but could be more in-depth. Your opinion was well supported with some evidence.
4=Crit A: The theme of one poem is clearly identified. You have identified a number of creative choices from the author and used evidence effectively to support your understanding. There is commentary on the effect on the reader, but this tends to be vague and not particularly in-depth. Your opinion was well supported but more convincing evidence is required.
5=Crit A: You have identified the theme of one poem. There are some attempts to identify techniques and use evidence to support your points, but you haven’t provided enough examples of these. There is some comment on the effect on the reader, but this is somewhat misguided in places. There are some attempts to support your opinion.
6=Crit A: You have identified what one poem is about but haven't stated a theme. There are some attempts to identify techniques and use evidence to support your points, but you haven’t given enough examples of these. There is little to no comment on the effect on the reader. You have not attempted to support your opinion.
7=Crit A: You have mentioned what one poem is about but haven't stated a theme. There are one or two attempts to identify techniques, but no use of evidence from the text. There is no comment on the effect on the reader. You have not attempted to support your opinion.
8=Crit A: You have briefly mentioned what one poem is about. There is no identification of techniques or evidence used from the text. There is no comment on the effect on the reader. You have not attempted to support your opinion.
9=Crit A: Limited or no answers were given. You have not met the analytical requirements for this task and have therefore earned a zero.

COMMENTS: 7 Poetry Analysis Crit A - short
1=Crit A: You clearly identified the theme of each poem and your understanding of the author's creative choices is detailed and perceptive, and some are very sophisticated.
2=Crit A: You clearly identified the theme of each poem and your understanding of the author's creative choices is detailed, though could be more perceptive.
3=Crit A: You clearly identified the theme of one poem and your understanding of the author's creative choices is detailed but could be more in-depth and perceptive.
4=Crit A: The theme of one poem is clearly identified and your understanding of the author's creative choices is somewhat detailed but at times misguided.
5=Crit A: You have identified the theme of one poem and show some understanding of the author's creative choices.
6=Crit A: You have identified what one poem is about but haven't stated a theme. You show adequate understanding of the author's creative choices.
7=Crit A: You have mentioned what one poem is about but haven't stated a theme. You show limited understanding of the author's creative choices.
8=Crit A: You have briefly mentioned what one poem is about. You show little to no understanding of the author's creative choices.
9=Crit A: Limited or no answers were given. You have not met the analytical requirements for this task and have therefore earned a zero.

COMMENTS: 7 Poetry Analysis Crit A Continue to
1=Continue to: clearly answer the questions.
2=Continue to: state the theme of the poem(s) clearly.
3=Continue to: relate all ideas back to the main theme.
4=Continue to: make attempts to discuss the features and techniques of the poem.
5=Continue to: attempt to provide examples and explanations to support your ideas.
6=Continue to: support your opinion with reasons.
7=Continue to: correctly use technical literary terminology in your analysis.
8=Continue to: choose relevant quotations and examples to support your ideas.
9=Continue to: provide sufficient examples and logical explanations to support your ideas.
10=Continue to: discuss ideas that are not obvious but still meaningful.
11=Continue to: meaningfully comment on the effect on the reader.
12=Continue to: support your opinion with well-chosen evidence from the text.

COMMENTS: 7 Poetry Analysis Crit A To Improve
1=To improve: clearly and fully answer all the questions asked.
2=To improve: identify or name specific techniques. Study the different types in your Conventions of Poetry document for the future.
3=To improve: some ideas need deeper analysis. See my notes.
4=To improve: correctly use more technical literary terminology in your analysis.
5=To improve: choose better Points--only choose techniques to discuss that help the author convey the message.
6=To improve: choose more relevant quotations and examples to support your Points.
7=To improve: provide sufficient examples and logical explanations to support your ideas.
8=To improve: deepen your analysis about the deeper meaning by explaining HOW? or WHY? Refer to the quotation AND the technique.
9=To improve: deepen your analysis by going beyond explaining the definition of the technique. It's more important to explain WHY or HOW the technique is effective in conveying the poet's message.
10=To improve: relate all ideas back to the main theme.
11=To improve: make more meaningful Links to the theme. Answer SO WHAT? How does this help the poet teach the message you have stated?
12=To improve: elaborate in your explanations better by meaningfully discussing the effect on the reader.
13=To improve: support your opinion with reasons and well-chosen evidence from the text.
14=To improve: support your opinion with well-chosen evidence from the text.
15=To improve: avoiding repeating ideas or examples.
16=To improve: avoiding repeating ideas in the Explanations by adding a “because/since” statement to your explanations that is connected to the technique chosen.
17=To improve: be more specific in your answers (e.g. ensure the theme is specific to what is said in the poem, ensure your explanations refer to the specific quotation, etc.)
18=To improve: discuss ideas that are not obvious but still meaningful.

COMMENTS: 7 Poetry Analysis Crit B
1=Crit B: Your paragraph structure is consistently detailed and sophisticated allowing you to analyse each poem in depth to create a complete analysis using PEEL structure. Your writing has a natural flow to it that is aided by your consistent use of a wide range of transitional language and your awareness of how structure can impact your meaning. You have included adequate and only relevant ideas in your paragraphs. Well done!
2=Crit B: Your paragraph structure is consistently detailed and allows you to fully analyse and compare/contrast each poem using PEEL structure. Your writing has a natural flow to it that is aided by your consistent use of a wide range of transitional language. Your paragraphs include only relevant ideas and are concise. Think about how structure can impact the meaning of your writing.
3=Crit B: You have used basic paragraph and argumentative structure such as PEEL consistently. Your writing has a flow to it, and you have consistently used transitional language to aid the overall organisation of your writing. Your paragraphs are of appropriate length and include only relevant ideas. Think about how you could use your structure to deepen your analysis.
4=Crit B: You have used basic paragraph and argumentative structure such as PEEL somewhat consistently. Your writing has a flow to it and there are some attempts at using transitional language to aid the overall organisation of your writing, but this could be more consistent. Your paragraphs are of appropriate length and mostly include only relevant ideas.
5=Crit B: You have used a basic paragraph and an argumentative structure such as PEEL, but this is not consistently used. The order of your ideas makes sense and it is easy to follow what you mean. Most of your paragraphs are adequate in terms of length.
6=Crit B: There have been some attempts to structure your work into sentences and paragraphs using PEEL structure, but this is not consistent enough. The order of your ideas mostly makes sense, but there are times in your essay where it is difficult to follow. Some of your paragraphs are too short or are missing points.
7=Crit B: There has been little attempt to structure what you have written into sentences or paragraphs. Your ideas are sometimes not written in an order that makes sense. Some of your paragraphs are too short and are missing points.
8=Crit B: There has been no attempt to structure what has been written in terms of sentences and paragraphs. Your ideas are often not written in an order that makes sense. You are missing paragraphs or major parts of the answer. Follow the instructions. You were meant to write in full paragraphs for each Part of the test.
9=Crit B: Limited or no answers were given. You have not met the organisational requirements for this task and have therefore earned a zero.

COMMENTS: 7 Poetry Analysis Crit B - short
1=Crit B: Your paragraph structure is consistently detailed and sophisticated allowing you to analyse each poem in depth to create a complete analysis using PEEL structure.
2=Crit B: Your paragraph structure is consistently detailed and allows you to fully analyse and compare/contrast each poem using PEEL structure.
3=Crit B: You have used basic paragraph and argumentative structure such as PEEL consistently.
4=Crit B: You have used basic paragraph and argumentative structure such as PEEL somewhat consistently.
5=Crit B: You have used a basic paragraph and an argumentative structure such as PEEL, but this is not consistently used.
6=Crit B: There have been some attempts to structure your work into sentences and paragraphs using PEEL structure, but this is not consistent enough.
7=Crit B: There has been little attempt to structure what you have written into sentences or paragraphs.
8=Crit B: There has been no attempt to structure what has been written in terms of sentences and paragraphs.
9=Crit B: Limited or no answers were given. You have not met the organisational requirements for this task and have therefore earned a zero.

COMMENTS: 7 Poetry Analysis Crit B Continue to
1=Continue to: write in full sentences.
2=Continue to: order your sentences in a logical way.
3=Continue to: begin your paragraphs with a clear topic sentence that answers the question.
4=Continue to: follow proper paragraph and argumentative structure (PEEL) to support your analysis and opinions.
5=Continue to: follow proper paragraph and argumentative structure (PEEL) to support your analysis.
6=Continue to: use transitional language to make your ideas flow logically.
7=Continue to: include a concluding sentence to summarise your ideas thoughtfully.
8=Continue to: introduce all your quotations logically.
9=Continue to: include only relevant ideas and write concisely.
10=Continue to: think about how structure can impact the meaning of your writing.
11=Continue to: think about how you could use your structure to deepen your analysis.

COMMENTS: 7 Poetry Analysis Crit B To Improve
1=To improve: write in full sentences.
2=To improve: order your sentences in a logical way.
3=To improve: follow the instructions. You were meant to write in full paragraphs for each Part of the test to show a fuller understanding.
4=To improve: begin your paragraphs with a clear topic sentence that answers the question.
5=To improve: follow proper paragraph structure (topic sentence, arguments/PEELs, concluding sentence).
6=To improve: follow proper paragraph and argumentative structure (PEEL) to support your analysis and opinions.
7=To improve: follow proper paragraph and argumentative structure (PEEL) to support your analysis.
8=To improve: write more - include more arguments (PEELs) to support your answers.
9=To improve: write less - choose only the strongest ideas to include.
10=To improve: use transitional language to make your ideas flow logically.
11=To improve: for Part One, write your ideas altogether as ONE paragraph with a clear topic sentence, transitions between PEELs, and a concluding sentence. Don't answer them as separate questions.
12=To improve: do not separate your sentences into different lines - combine your sentences into one paragraph.
13=To improve: include a concluding sentence to summarise your ideas thoughtfully.
14=To improve: introduce all your quotations logically.
15=To improve: include only relevant ideas and write concisely.
16=To improve: consistently use a wide range of transitional language.
17=To improve: think about how structure can impact the meaning of your writing.
18=To improve: think about how you could use your structure to deepen your analysis.

COMMENTS: 7 Poetry Analysis Crit D
1=Crit D: You have consistently and expertly used a wide range of linguistic techniques to maintain your audience’s engagement. Formal and sophisticated language is largely used throughout your analysis. There are very few to no grammatical errors. Your accuracy in spelling is very strong with little to no errors, even for sophisticated words or phrases.
2=Crit D: You have consistently used a wide range of linguistic techniques to maintain your audience’s engagement. Formal language is mostly used throughout. Think about how you could use your language to add a higher level of sophistication to your writing. There are a few grammatical errors, but these do not impact the overall meaning of your ideas. Your spelling accuracy is very strong with little to no errors in simple and more complicated language.
3=Crit D: While you have consistently used linguistic techniques to engage the reader, try using more examples of extended vocabulary to intrigue your reader. You have mostly used formal language. Grammatical errors are rare, but make sure you double-check your writing before submitting. Your spelling accuracy is strong with with errors mostly in more complicated examples, but sometimes in simple language.
4=Crit D: You have made some very good attempts at using your language to engage your reader but this is not quite consistent enough. Language is mostly formal in the analysis. Grammatical errors may occur, but there aren’t many that interfere with your meaning. Spelling errors occur in some simple language but also in more complicated examples.
5=Crit D: There are some good attempts at using your language to make it engaging for the reader. Language is sometimes too informal. There are some grammatical errors, but these are relatively infrequent and could be avoided through double-checking your work. Some spelling errors occur, many of which could be avoided through checking.
6=Crit D: There are some attempts to make your writing engaging for the reader, but this is not consistent. Language is generally formal but there are informal lapses. There are some grammatical errors that interfere with your meaning. There are a few spelling errors that haven’t been checked.
7=Crit D: There are little to no attempts to make your writing interesting for the reader. Language is generally informal and not appropriate for the task. There are quite a few grammatical errors, and some interfere with your meaning. The writing has not been checked for the numerous spelling errors in the analysis.
8=Crit D: There are no attempts to make your writing interesting for the reader. Language is not appropriate for the task. Writing has many grammatical errors that interfere with meaning. The writing has not been checked for the several spelling errors included in the analysis.
9=Crit D: Limited or no answers were given. You have not demonstrated the linguistic requirements for this task and have therefore earned a zero.

COMMENTS: 7 Poetry Analysis Crit D - short
1=Crit D: You have consistently and expertly used a wide range of linguistic techniques to maintain your audience’s engagement. Formal and sophisticated language is largely used throughout your analysis. There are very few to no grammatical errors. Your accuracy in spelling is very strong with little to no errors, even for sophisticated words or phrases.
2=Crit D: You have consistently used a wide range of linguistic techniques to maintain your audience’s engagement. Formal language is mostly used throughout. Think about how you could use your language to add a higher level of sophistication to your writing. There are a few grammatical errors, but these do not impact the overall meaning of your ideas. Your spelling accuracy is very strong with little to no errors in simple and more complicated language.
3=Crit D: While you have consistently used linguistic techniques to engage the reader, try using more examples of extended vocabulary to intrigue your reader. You have mostly used formal language. Grammatical errors are rare, but make sure you double-check your writing before submitting. Your spelling accuracy is strong with with errors mostly in more complicated examples, but sometimes in simple language.
4=Crit D: You have made some very good attempts at using your language to engage your reader but this is not quite consistent enough. Language is mostly formal in the analysis. Grammatical errors may occur, but there aren’t many that interfere with your meaning. Spelling errors occur in some simple language but also in more complicated examples.
5=Crit D: There are some good attempts at using your language to make it engaging for the reader. Language is sometimes too informal. There are some grammatical errors, but these are relatively infrequent and could be avoided through double-checking your work. Some spelling errors occur, many of which could be avoided through checking.
6=Crit D: There are some attempts to make your writing engaging for the reader, but this is not consistent. Language is generally formal but there are informal lapses. There are some grammatical errors that interfere with your meaning. There are a few spelling errors that haven’t been checked.
7=Crit D: There are little to no attempts to make your writing interesting for the reader. Language is generally informal and not appropriate for the task. There are quite a few grammatical errors, and some interfere with your meaning. The writing has not been checked for the numerous spelling errors in the analysis.
8=Crit D: There are no attempts to make your writing interesting for the reader. Language is not appropriate for the task. Writing has many grammatical errors that interfere with meaning. The writing has not been checked for the several spelling errors included in the analysis.
9=Crit D: Limited or no answers were given. You have not demonstrated the linguistic requirements for this task and have therefore earned a zero.

COMMENTS: 7 Poetry Analysis Crit D Continue to
1=Continue to: refine and improve the quality of your expression through sophisticated language and the development of your authorial voice through writer's craft. Great work!
2=Continue to: use sophisticated language and sentence structure.
3=Continue to: sophisticated vocabulary to add quality to your expression of ideas.
4=Continue to: use a range of vocabulary to add interest in your writing.
5=Continue to: use a range of sentence forms (simple, compound, complex) to vary the rhythm of and add interest in your writing.
6=Continue to: write concisely and clearly.
7=Continue to: write and spell accurately.
8=Continue to: use effective vocabulary to make your ideas clear.
9=Continue to: write with the appropriately formal tone.
10=Continue to: make attempts to vary your structure and vocabulary.
11=Continue to: make attempts to vary your structure.
12=Continue to: make attempts to write clearly.
13=Continue to: make attempts to use correct terminology and vocabulary.

COMMENTS: 7 Poetry Analysis Crit D To Improve
1=To improve: write more in order to better demonstrate your use of language, and varied vocabulary and sentence structure.
2=To improve: work on eliminating basic errors in grammar, spelling and/or expression by proofreading your work out loud and using a grammar-checking tool.
3=To improve: proofread your work out loud and use a grammar-checking tool to eliminate basic mistakes and improve the quality of your writing.
4=To improve: check your punctuation and sentence structure to eliminate incomplete sentences and comma splices.
5=To improve: use more effective vocabulary to make your ideas clearer.
6=To improve: try to use more sophisticated vocabulary to add quality to your expression of ideas.
7=To improve: clarify your expression by only using words whose meaning you are very sure about. You misuse too many complex words.
8=To improve: follow the rules of formal writing.
9=To improve: consider the purpose and audience of your writing more carefully and use the appropriate grammar, language, and expression to connect with your reader.
10=To improve: vary your vocabulary and avoid over-repetition of words.
11=To improve: vary your sentence structure. Consider using iSPACEd to vary the beginnings of your sentences.
12=To improve: continue to refine and improve the quality of your expression through sophisticated language and the development of your authorial voice through writer's craft. Great work!
13=To improve: use a range of sentence forms (simple, compound, complex) to vary the rhythm of and add interest in your writing.
14=To improve: write more concisely overall by being more succinct. Use the Guide to Writing Concisely in the future to keep developing this skill.

COMMENTS: 7 Poetry Analysis Overall final comment
1=Overall, this is an outstanding effort that showcases a superb understanding of the conventions of poetry and an insightful understanding of the poems. A great start to Grade 7!
2=Overall, this is an excellent effort that showcases a solid understanding of the conventions of poetry and of the poems. Continue to refine the subtle aspects of your analytical thinking and writing. Well done!
3=Overall, this is a very good effort that showcases a good understanding of the conventions of poetry and of the poems. Work on the recommended improvements to push towards top-band performance. Great work!
4=Overall, this is a good effort that showcases reasonable understanding of the conventions of poetry and a general understanding of the poems. Work hard on the recommended improvements to cement your grade. Let's push on!
5=Overall, this is an adequate effort that showcases some understanding of the conventions of poetry and an adequate understanding of the poems. You will need to work harder if you are to progress to the next level.
6=Overall, this is a poor effort that showcases little understanding of the conventions of poetry and a limited understanding of the poems. You will have to work exceedingly hard on my recommendations and improve your general level of effort if you wish to progress to the next level. There is still time, but you must start now.
7=Overall, you have failed to meet the requirements of the task in numerous areas. You have not recognised the conventions of poetry and have shown very little understanding of the poems. Without significantly improved effort and dedication to your studies, you will struggle to progress. I strongly suggest you adjust your attitude and effort immediately.
8=Overall, you have failed to submit the work to an adequate standard and have therefore earned a grade of zero for this task.

COMMENTS: 9 ABC AV Crit A 1
1=Crit A: Your audio-visual analysis perceptively addresses the prompt and shows a sophisticated understanding of the audience, context, theme, and graphic novel conventions. Appropriate graphic novel and analytical terminology is used throughout. You show an excellent understanding of graphic novel conventions and theme.
2=Crit A: Your audio-visual analysis perceptively addresses the prompt and consistently identifies the audience, context, theme, and graphic novel conventions accurately using proper terminology. You show a very strong understanding of graphic novel conventions and theme.
3=Crit A: Your audio-visual analysis clearly addresses the prompt and accurately identifies the audience, context, theme, and graphic novel conventions, but work on using proper terminology consistently. You show a strong understanding of graphic novel conventions and theme.
4=Crit A: Your audio-visual analysis clearly addresses the prompt and mostly identifies the audience, context, theme, and graphic novel conventions accurately. You show a good understanding of graphic novel conventions and theme.
5=Crit A: Your audio-visual analysis somewhat addresses the prompt, but sometimes inaccurately identifies the theme and/or graphic novel conventions or only summarises the story without analysis. There is some understanding of graphic novel conventions and some use of analytical terminology.
6=Crit A: Your audio-visual analysis addresses the prompt in a limited way and often inaccurately identifies the audience, context, theme, and graphic novel conventions. There is limited understanding of graphic novel conventions and limited use of analytical terminology.

COMMENTS: 9 ABC AV Crit A 2
1=All your points are well supported with relevant references to the text that are well analysed and insightful discussion of the intended effect on the audience. You have perceptively compared and contrasted connecting characters or storylines throughout the text in a consistent manner, making extensive connections. Well done!
2=Most of your points are well supported with relevant references to the text that are well analysed and insightful discussion of the intended effect on the audience. You have some perceptive comparisons and contrasting ideas connecting characters or storylines throughout the text, making some strong connections.
3=Most of your points are well supported with relevant references to the text that are well analysed and insightful discussion of the intended effect on the audience. You have some perceptive comparisons and contrasting ideas connecting characters or storylines throughout the text, making some strong connections.
4=PEEL structure is used effectively, with consistent and relevant references to the text, though further elaboration is needed in your analysis. You have consistently mentioned similarities and differences connecting characters or storylines throughout the text, with good analysis.
5=PEEL structure is used somewhat effectively; some examples are chosen to illustrate your points, but your explanations are limited. You have mentioned some similarities and differences connecting characters or storylines throughout the text but need to better analyse them.
6=You have mentioned some similarities and differences connecting characters or storylines throughout the text with limited analysis.

COMMENTS: 9 ABC AV Crit A Improve
1=To improve: discuss more original insights and consider how your thesis statement can be more significant.
2=To improve: analyse verbal and visual language more consistently in your explanations.
3=To improve: discuss more original insights and connect all points to your thesis.
4=To improve: clearly and consistently relate all your ideas in a deeper way than your topic sentences to the thesis in your concluding sentences for each section.
5=To improve: clearly relate all your ideas to the thesis in a non-repetitive way.
6=To improve: state your thesis clearly at the beginning and address the prompt clearly.
7=To improve: discuss graphic novel features such as visual and verbal techniques. Use terminology.
8=To improve: discuss more consistently how the author’s choices help convey the message to the audience.
9=To improve: discuss more consistently how the author’s choices affect the audience.
10=To improve: discuss more consistently how the author’s choices help convey the message to the audience.
11=To improve: consistently relate your explanations back to your main thesis and deepen your thinking about the theme.
12=To improve: consistently relate your explanations back to your main thesis and deepen your thinking about the theme. Avoid merely retelling the story.
13=To improve: offer deeper insights in your explanations.
14=To improve: include more examples or explanations to be more convincing.
15=To improve: read the task sheet to ensure you complete the task using the appropriate format and that you clearly address the prompt.

COMMENTS: 9 ABC AV Crit B 1
1=Crit B: You have excellently organised your ideas into sections or logical subheadings. Your analysis is clear and has a consistent flow, making your audio-visual analysis easy and enjoyable to follow. The ideas you present build from paragraph to paragraph without any repetition.
2=Crit B: You have insightfully organised your ideas into sections or logical subheadings. The audio-visual analysis has a mostly clear flow making it easy and enjoyable to follow. Your ideas somewhat build on each other from paragraph to paragraph without too much repetition.
3=Crit B: You have clearly organised your ideas into sections or logical subheadings. The audio-visual analysis follows a logical order from start to finish.
4=Crit B: You have mostly organised your ideas into sections or logical subheadings. The audio-visual analysis generally follows a logical order.
5=Crit B: You have somewhat organised your ideas into sections or logical subheadings. Though most of the audio-visual analysis makes sense, there are certain occasions where it is difficult to understand what you mean.
6=Crit B: You have not organised your ideas into sections or logical subheadings. It is difficult to follow what you mean for most of the audio-visual analysis.
7=Crit B: You have not organised your ideas into sections or logical subheadings. It is difficult to follow what you mean for most of the audio-visual analysis.

COMMENTS: 9 ABC AV Crit B 2
1=The use of sophisticated transitional phrases is evident in the audio-visual analysis. You have excellently used an audio-visual formatting tool, with consistently effective images and sounds, to create a presentation suitable to the task. Well done!
2=Transitional language aids the flow of your audio-visual analysis. You have proficiently used an audio-visual formatting tool, with consistently effective images and sounds, to create a presentation suitable to the task.
3=Transitional language is used consistently in the audio-visual analysis. You have competently used an audio-visual formatting tool, with consistently effective images and sounds, to create a presentation suitable to the task.
4=There are clear attempts at using transitional language in places. You have competently used an audio-visual formatting tool, with mostly effective images and sounds, to create a presentation suitable to the task.
5=Your work generally has a flow to it due to an occasional use of transitional language. You have adequately used an audio-visual formatting tool, with many images and sounds, to create a presentation suitable to the task.
6=Your work is very disjointed and hard to follow due to a limited use of transitional language. You have adequately used an audio-visual formatting tool, with some images and sounds, to create a presentation suitable to the task.
7=Your work is very disjointed and hard to follow due to a limited use of transitional language. You have not adequately used an audio-visual formatting tool, with some images and sounds, to create a presentation suitable to the task.

COMMENTS: 9 ABC AV Crit B Improve
1=To improve: use more text in the slides to enhance your message and ideas.
2=To improve: some ideas are repeated; work on consistently building ideas from section to section.
3=To improve: some ideas are repeated; work on building ideas from section to section.
4=To improve: use text such as meaningful headings on the slides and choose more effective images to help your audience follow your ideas better.
5=To improve: use text such as meaningful headings as well as images to help you audience better follow your ideas.
6=To improve: ensure the topics of your supporting points are clear (like topic sentences for a paragraph) and that you transition between them clearly.
7=To improve: your presentation was too long; edit to keep only the strongest points that support your thesis.
8=To improve: avoid including too much text on the slides; use only key words and text to help your audience focus on your important points.
9=To improve: avoid including too many images on one slide as this can be overwhelming; consider having more slides with less on them to allow the audience to process what you're saying better.
10=To improve: avoid including too many images or text on one slide as this can be overwhelming; having more slides with less on them allows the audience to process what you're saying better.
11=To improve: use clear transitional language between main ideas and examples.
12=To improve: include more images and helpful text.
13=To improve: plan your work using the provided organiser.
14=To improve: present your analysis with a voice-over as well as images.

COMMENTS: 9 ABC AV Crit B Improve 2
1=As well, include a Works Cited list with the novel cited (even if this is your only item) and any secondary sources.

COMMENTS: 9 ABC AV Crit D 1
1=Crit D: The language used is consistently engaging and appropriate to the task. You have consistently used a formal tone throughout. Spelling, punctuation and grammar are correct, even for more sophisticated words or phrases.
2=Crit D: The language used is mostly engaging and is consistently appropriate to the task. You have consistently used a formal tone throughout. Spelling, punctuation, and grammar are accurate throughout, with some attempts at using sophisticated words or phrases.
3=Crit D: The language used is appropriate to the task and there are consistent attempts to change vocabulary to engage the reader. You have consistently used a formal tone throughout. Spelling, punctuation, and grammar are generally accurate with only minor errors.
4=Crit D: The language you have used is appropriate to the task and there are some attempts to use vocabulary to engage the audience. You have mostly used a formal tone throughout. There are some spelling and grammar errors, but this does not affect the overall meaning of the work.
5=Crit D: The language used links clearly to the task, but the opportunity to use engaging vocabulary has not been used. Your tone is sometimes informal. Spelling and grammar errors sometimes make it difficult to understand what you are trying to say.
6=Crit D: Your language is mostly linked to the assessment, though your tone tends to be too informal. Frequent spelling and grammar errors make it difficult to understand what you are trying to say.
7=Crit D: Your language is somewhat linked to the assessment, though your tone tends to be too informal. Frequent spelling and grammar errors make it difficult to understand what you are trying to say.

COMMENTS: 9 ABC AV Crit D 2
1=You use non-verbal-communication techniques (volume, pace, relationship between images, text, and voiceover, etc.) proficiently, showing a keen understanding of the effects on your audience. Excellent job!
2=You use non-verbal communication techniques (volume, pace, relationship between images, text, and voiceover, etc.) proficiently.
3=You use non-verbal-communication techniques (volume, pace, relationship between images, text, and voiceover, etc.) effectively and with variation.
4=You use non-verbal-communication techniques (volume, pace, relationship between images, text, and voiceover, etc.) effectively.
5=You use non-verbal-communication techniques (volume, pace, relationship between images, text, and voiceover, etc.) mostly effectively.
6=You use non-verbal-communication techniques (volume, pace, relationship between images, text, and voiceover, etc.) somewhat effectively.
7=You use non-verbal-communication techniques (volume, pace, relationship between images, text, and voiceover, etc.) with limited effectiveness.

COMMENTS: 9 ABC AV Crit D Improve
1=To improve: speak more naturally and in a more engaging way so your audience can better follow your presentation.
2=To improve: vary your sentence structure and use more comics-specific terminology throughout.
3=To improve: consider more carefully how you can use the relationship between images, text and voiceover to enhance your ideas.
4=To improve: maintain a formal tone throughout.
5=To improve: vary your sentence structure and use more engaging vocabulary throughout.
6=To improve: vary your tone and pace more naturally and speak in a more engaging way rather than reading so your audience can better follow your presentation.
7=To improve: speak with a quicker pace and in a more engaging way so your audience can better follow your presentation.
8=To improve: slow down so your audience can better follow your presentation.
9=To improve: speak more naturally and in a more engaging way so your audience can better follow your presentation.
10=To improve: use more proper terminology to make your presentation more persuasive.
11=To improve: improve the delivery of your voiceover to better engage your audience.
12=To improve: improve the delivery of your voiceover to better engage your audience.
13=To improve: correct your oral and written grammar and include more analysis.
14=To improve: present your analysis orally. Read the task sheet to ensure you complete the task using the appropriate format.

COMMENTS: 9 ABC AV overall
1=Overall, this is an outstanding effort that showcases a superb understanding of the conventions of the genre and a unique interpretation of the author's message. You have executed the assessment superbly.
2=Overall, this is an excellent effort that showcases a solid understanding of the conventions of the genre and a detailed interpretation of the author's message. Continue to refine your analytical skills. Well done!
3=Overall, this is a very good effort that showcases a good understanding of the conventions of the genre and a solid interpretation of the author's message. Continue to work on the recommended improvements to push towards top-band performance. Great work!
4=Overall, this is a good effort that showcases reasonable understanding of the conventions of the genre and a general interpretation of the author's message. Work hard on the recommended improvements in each criterion to cement your grade and develop throughout Grade 9. Let's push on!
5=Overall, this is an adequate effort that showcases some understanding of the conventions of the genre and an adequate interpretation of the author's message. You will need to work hard on your understanding of conventions and the required level of language throughout Grade 9 if you are to progress to the next level.
6=Overall, this is a poor effort that showcases few of the conventions of the genre and shows vey limited interpretation and understanding of the author's message. You will have to work exceedingly hard on the recommendations made and improve your general level of effort if you wish to progress to DP at the end of Grade 10. There is still time, but you must start now!
7=Overall, you have failed to meet the requirements of the task in numerous areas. You have not recognized the conventions of the genre and have only demonstrated surface-level understanding of the author's message. It is my estimation that, without significantly improved effort and dedication to your studies, you will struggle to meet the requirements for DP progression at the end of Grade 10. I strongly suggest you adjust your attitude and effort immediately.
8=Overall, you have failed to submit the work and any draft or process work and have therefore earned a grade of zero for this task.

COMMENTS: 9 GLA A
1=You have produced a high quality and insightful analysis of the key themes of the text, and structured it within a suitable framework of critical terminology. Outstanding effort.
2=Most of your points are well supported, include relevant references to the source material, and are thoroughly analysed with an insightful discussion of the intended effect on the audience. Well done.
3=There is #IBP2 recognition of how key language and stylistic choices affect the reader.
4=You demonstrated #IBP2 awareness of the effect of the creator's choices on an audience.
5=You have shown #IBP2 awareness of techniques and their effect, but the analysis should be more comprehensive to achieve top marks.
6=There is #IBP2 understanding of genre conventions with #IBP2 awareness of how an audience would respond.
7=You have provided good general evidence to examine, and recognised techniques well, but your analysis is often vague and non-specific to the evidence chosen.
8=Analysis is a little repetitive and makes the same point several times. Going forward, ideas and evidence need to be better organized and made clear to the reader.
9=You have shown #IBP2 insight into the motivations and techniques employed by the creator, and have used #IBP2 examples to support, link and expand your points.
10=You show #IBP2 ability to recognise key techniques, but struggles to link them convincingly to the purpose and audience through detailed, insightful analysis.
11=Identification of specific techniques to achieve purpose is your weakest area- let's work on recognising the technique and its effect for next time.
12=Your commentary provided #IBP2 analysis of the audience, context, theme, and/or genre conventions; however, inconsistencies are apparent. A more significant breadth and depth of analysis is necessary to better satisfy the expectations of the assessment.
13=You justify opinions and ideas with #IBP2 examples and explanations. Although there is some use of technical terminology, this needs to be more consistent.
14=Your analysis shows a disconnect in understanding between the evidence (quotations etc.) chosen and the potential reasons for doing so. It is not apparent that you fully understands the author's creative thought process, though you do attempt to offer some reasoned comments.
15=There is little attempt at reasoned analysis in your GLA. You must try to move beyond simply describing the events of the plot and focus more on the techniques the author uses to construct meaning.
16=Analysis of imagery does not look at the root of the image to make detailed and insightful connections often enough. Avoid simply explaining a technique's purpose.
17=You tend to focus on providing background information and general opinion, rather than analysing the specific content of the text through insightful technical and critical analysis.

COMMENTS: 9 GLA A Kathy
1=Crit A: 8 - You have produced a high-quality and insightful analysis of the key themes of the text, and structured it within a suitable framework of critical terminology. You answered the question exceptionally well. Outstanding effort.
2=Crit A: 7 - Your points are very well supported with relevant and effectively chosen references, as well as thoughtful reasoning and insightful discussion of the intended effect on the audience. Discussion of and connections to the entire text should be more comprehensive to achieve top marks. Well done!
3=Crit A: 6 - Most of your points are well supported, include relevant references to the source material, and are thoroughly analysed with some insightful discussion of the intended effect on the audience, but the analysis of how the techniques work should be more comprehensive to achieve top marks. You answered the question with good focus and some wider references to the text. Well done.
4=Crit A: 5 - Some of your points are well supported, usually include relevant references to the source material, and are analysed with some discussion of the intended effect on the audience. You sometimes strayed from answering the question. Try to show wider knowledge of the entire play to move to the next band.
5=Crit A: 5 - You have provided good general evidence to examine and recognised techniques well, but your analysis is often vague and non-specific to the evidence chosen. For this reason, you didn't always answer the question well. Remember as well to discuss the intended effect of the techniques on the audience.
6=Crit A: 4 - Focus on answering the question asked. You show a good ability to recognise key techniques but struggle to link them convincingly to the purpose and audience through detailed, insightful analysis.
7=Crit A: 4 - You justify opinions and ideas with somewhat relevant examples and explanations. Although there is some use of technical terminology, this needs to be more consistent.
8=Crit A: 3 - Remember to focus on answering the question that is asked. Your analysis shows a disconnect in understanding between the chosen evidence (quotations, examples, etc.) and the author's potential reasons for doing so. It's not apparent that you fully understand the author's creative thought process, though you do attempt to offer some reasoned comments.
9=Crit A: 3 - Remember to focus on answering the question that is asked. Identification of specific techniques to achieve purpose is your weakest area--let's work on recognising the technique and its effect for next time. Try to move beyond simply describing the events of the plot or "translating" the text and focus more on the techniques the author uses to construct meaning.
10=Crit A: 2 - Focus on answering the question asked. There is little attempt at reasoned analysis in your GLA and your analysis is a little repetitive, making the same point several times. Going forward, ideas and evidence need to be better developed and made clear to the reader.
11=Crit A: 3 - Focus more on analysis the techniques the author uses to construct meaning and on answering the question that is asked. You tend to focus on providing background information and general opinion rather than analysing the specific content of the text through insightful technical and critical analysis.

COMMENTS: 9 GLA B
1=Your GLA is very well structured using proper paragraphing.
2=You make #9B use of paragraphing in order to create a cohesive commentary. Analysis flowed logically and built on the previous point effectively.
3=You applied the analysis framework effectively which resulted in a #9B structure. Analysis within paragraphs was #degreeadverbs considered and logical in its order.
4=Your paragraphs were centered around one main idea using an appropriate PEAL structure and usually included clear topic and concluding sentences.
5=Your paragraphs were centered around one main idea using a PEAL structure, but were sometimes missing clear topic and concluding sentences.
6=Your GLA consistently follows a logical order.
7=Your GLA generally follows a logical order.
8=Your ideas somewhat build on each other from paragraph to paragraph without repetition.
9=You attempted to use paragraphs, but did not follow the PEAL structure or include clear topic and/or linking sentences.
10=You must use proper paragraphs to aid organization.

COMMENTS: 9 GLA B Kathy
1=Crit B: 8 - Your GLA demonstrates an insightful grasp of structure and paragraphing, with ideas building thoughtfully on each other and structure adapted where necessary to the arguments. Excellent work!
2=Crit B: 7 - Your GLA is very well structured using proper and logical paragraphing consistently. Think about how you can vary your PEAL/PEEL structure and have your arguments build on each other from paragraph to paragraph without repetition.
3=Crit B: 6 - Your GLA consistently follows a logical order. You make good use of paragraphing in order to create a cohesive commentary and your use of PEAL/PEEL structure is effective. Analysis flowed logically and built on the previous point effectively. Think about linking your ideas from paragraph to paragraph.
4=Crit B: 5 - Your GLA generally follows a logical order. You applied the analysis framework effectively, which resulted in a logical structure. Analysis within paragraphs was mostly considered and logical in its order, though more effective use of PEAL/PEEL would help. Make sure your points, evidence, and explanations all connect or "match" and that you link them to the overall question.
5=Crit B: 5 - Your GLA generally follows a logical order. You applied the analysis framework effectively, which resulted in a logical structure. Analysis within paragraphs and use of PEAL/PEEL structure were mostly considered and logical, though more consistent use of transitions would help.
6=Crit B: 5 - Your paragraphs were centered around one main idea using an appropriate PEAL/PEEL structure and usually included clear topic and concluding sentences; work on making this more consistent.
7=Crit B: 4 - Your paragraphs were centered around one main idea using a PEAL/PEEL structure but were sometimes missing clear topic and concluding sentences. Review what a proper topic sentence and concluding sentence should achieve and apply this consistently.
8=Crit B: 3 - You attempted to use paragraphs but did not follow the PEAL/PEEL structure effectively, nor did you include clear topic sentences and/or linking language. Review examples and class materials to learn proper GLA and PEAL/PEEL structure.
9=Crit B: 2 - Your ideas are not logically organised into paragraphs, so it's really difficult to follow your argument. Your ideas are often disjointed and do not flow logically from one to the other. Work on using proper paragraphs to aid organisation. Review examples and class materials to learn proper GLA and PEAL/PEEL structure.

COMMENTS: 9 GLA Criterion A Rubric
1=Your GLA provides perceptive analysis of the content, context, language, structure, technique, style of text(s) and the relationship among texts. It perceptively analyses the effects of the creator's choices on an audience and gives detailed justification of opinions and ideas with a range of examples, and thorough explanations. It uses accurate terminology and perceptively compares and contrasts by making extensive connections in features across and within genres and texts.
2=Your GLA competently analyses the content, context, language, structure, technique, style of text(s) and the relationship among texts. It competently analyses the effects of the creator's choices on an audience and sufficiently justifies opinions and ideas with examples and explanations. It uses accurate terminology and evaluates similarities and differences by making substantial connections in features across and within genres and texts.
3=Your GLA provides adequate analysis of the content, context, language, structure, technique and style of text(s) and the relationship among texts. It provides adequate analysis of the effects of the creator's choices on an audience. It justifies opinions and ideas with some examples and explanations, though this may not be consistent and uses some terminology. It evaluates some similarities and differences by making adequate connections in features across and within genres and texts.
4=Your GLA provides limited analysis of the content, context, language, structure, technique and style of text(s) and the relationship among texts. It provides limited analysis of the effects of the creator's choices on an audience and rarely justifies opinions and ideas with examples or explanations. It uses little or no terminology and evaluates few similarities and differences by making minimal connections in features across and within genres and texts.

COMMENTS: 9 GLA Criterion B Rubric
1=Your GLA makes sophisticated use of organisational structures that serve the context and intention effectively. It effectively organises opinions and ideas in a sustained, coherent and logical manner with ideas building on each other in a sophisticated way.
2=Your GLA makes competent use of organisational structures that serve the context and intention. It organises opinions and ideas in a coherent and logical manner with ideas building on each other.
3=Your GLA makes adequate use of organisational structures that serve the context and intention. It organises opinions and ideas with some degree of coherence and logic.
4=Your GLA makes minimal use of organisational structures and these do not always serve the context and intention. It organises opinions and ideas with a minimal degree of coherence and logic.

COMMENTS: 9 GLA Criterion D Rubric
1=Your GLA effectively uses a range of appropriate vocabulary, sentence structures and forms of expression in a consistently appropriate register and style that serve the context and intention. It uses grammar, syntax, spelling and punctuation with a high degree of accuracy; errors are minor and communication is effective.
2=Your GLA uses a competent range of vocabulary, sentence structures and forms of expression, sometimes in a register and style that serve the context and intention. It uses grammar, syntax, spelling and punctuation with some degree of accuracy; errors sometimes hinder communication.
3=Your GLA uses an adequate range of appropriate vocabulary, sentence structures and forms of expression, sometimes in a register and style that serve the context and intention. It uses grammar, syntax, spelling and punctuation with some degree of accuracy; errors sometimes hinder communication.
4=Your GLA uses a limited range of appropriate vocabulary and forms of expression in an inappropriate register and style that do not serve the context and intention. It uses grammar, syntax and punctuation with limited accuracy; errors often hinder communication iv. spells/writes and pronounces with limited accuracy; errors often hinder communication.

COMMENTS: 9 GLA D
1=You used a varied range of sophisticated vocabulary, sentence structures and forms of expression.
2=You used a range of #9B vocabulary, sentence structures and forms of expression.
3=You used an adequate range of appropriate vocabulary, sentence structures and forms of expression.
4=You used grammar, syntax and punctuation with a high degree of accuracy; errors are minor and communication was effective.
5=You used grammar, syntax and punctuation with a considerable degree of accuracy; errors did not hinder effective communication.
6=You also used grammar, syntax and punctuation with some degree of accuracy, however errors sometimes hindered communication.
7=You write using a consistently appropriate formal register and style that suits an analytical GLA.
8=You write competently using a formal register and style that is appropriate to an analytical GLA.
9=You should aspire to use a more appropriate formal register for an analytical GLA.

COMMENTS: 9 GLA D Kathy
1=Crit D: 8 - This was a pleasure to read. You thoughtfully used a varied range of sophisticated vocabulary, sentence structures, and forms of expression. Great job accurately using spelling, grammar, and literary terminology, as well as maintaining an appropriate formal tone for a GLA.
2=Crit D: 7 - This was a pleasure to read. You thoughtfully used a varied range of sophisticated vocabulary, sentence structures, and forms of expression. Great job accurately using spelling, grammar, and literary terminology. Work on maintaining an appropriate formal tone for a GLA.
3=Crit D: 6 - This was clearly written with very few spelling and grammatical errors that hindered communication. Mostly, your tone was appropriately formal for a GLA. There were some attempts at variation of vocabulary, sentence structures, and forms of expression. Your next step is to work on varying these and avoiding repetition of words, phrases, structures, etc. where possible to make your writing more engaging.
4=Crit D: 6 - This was clearly written with very few spelling and grammatical errors that hindered communication. Your tone was sometimes too informal for a GLA. There were some attempts at variation of vocabulary, sentence structures, and forms of expression. Your next step is to work on varying these and avoiding repetition of words, phrases, structures, etc. where possible to make your writing more engaging.
5=Crit D: 5 - This was clearly written with few spelling and grammatical errors that hindered communication. Mostly, your tone was appropriately formal for a GLA. There were some attempts at variation of vocabulary, sentence structures, and forms of expression. Your next step is to work on varying these and avoiding repetition of words, phrases, structures, etc. where possible to make your writing more engaging.
6=Crit D: 5 - This was clearly written with few spelling and grammatical errors that hindered communication. Your tone was sometimes too informal for a GLA. There were some attempts at variation of vocabulary, sentence structures, and forms of expression. Your next step is to work on varying these and avoiding repetition of words, phrases, structures, etc. where possible to make your writing more engaging.
7=Crit D: 4 - This was generally clearly written though there were some spelling and grammatical errors that hindered communication. Mostly, your tone was appropriately formal for a GLA. There were some attempts at variation of vocabulary, sentence structures, and forms of expression though these could be more consistent. Work on proofreading your work to avoid careless errors.
8=Crit D: 4 - This was generally clearly written though there were some spelling and grammatical errors that hindered communication. Sometimes, your tone was too informal for a GLA. There were some attempts at variation of vocabulary, sentence structures, and forms of expression though these could be more consistent. Work on proofreading your work to avoid careless errors.
9=Crit D: 4 - Your language was often difficult to understand due to frequent spelling and grammatical errors that hindered communication. As well, your tone is too informal for a GLA. There were some attempts at variation of vocabulary, sentence structures, and forms of expression though these could be more consistent. Work on proofreading by reading your work aloud to pick up on errors.
10=Crit D: 3 - Your language was very often difficult to understand due to frequent spelling and grammatical errors that hindered communication. As well, your tone is too informal for a GLA. There were some attempts at variation of vocabulary, sentence structures, and forms of expression though these could be more consistent. Work on proofreading by reading your work aloud to pick up on errors.

COMMENTS: 9 GLA overall
1=Overall, this is an outstanding effort that showcases a superb understanding of the text and its features as well as a unique interpretation of the author's message. You have executed the assessment superbly.
2=Overall, this is an excellent effort that showcases a solid understanding of the text and its features as well as a detailed interpretation of the author's message. Continue to refine your analytical skills. Well done!
3=Overall, this is a very good effort that showcases a good understanding of the text and its features, as well as a solid interpretation of the author's message. Continue to work on the recommended improvements to push towards top-band performance. Great work!
4=Overall, this is a good effort that showcases reasonable understanding of the text and its features, as well as a general interpretation of the author's message. Work hard on the recommended improvements in each criterion to cement your grades. Let's push on!
5=Overall, you will need to review our GLA writing and PEAL/PEEL materials if you are to progress to the next level, but I know you can do it. See me if you have any questions.
6=Overall, I know you can get this; you’ve shown good analytical skills before. Let’s work on applying it to texts and GLAs. See me if you have any questions.
7=Overall, you will need to work hard on your understanding of conventions and the required level of language throughout Grade 9 if you are to progress to the next level.
8=Overall, this GLA showcases few of the conventions of the genre and shows vey limited interpretation and understanding of the author's message. You will have to work exceedingly hard on the recommendations made and improve your general level of effort if you wish to progress to DP at the end of Grade 10. There is still time, but you must start now!
9=Overall, you have failed to meet the requirements of the task in numerous areas. You have not recognised the conventions of the genre and have only demonstrated surface-level understanding of the author's message. Without significantly improved effort and dedication to your studies, you will struggle to meet the requirements for DP progression at the end of Grade 10.
10=Overall, you have failed to submit the work to an adequate standard and have therefore earned a grade of zero for this task.

COMMENTS: 9 Improvement from ABC Analysis
1=Great improvement from the ABC analysis!
2=Some improvement from the ABC analysis!
3=Keep working to improve your analysis, organisation, and writing.
4=Overall, this was not to the standard you showed in the ABC analysis. Keep working to improve your analysis, organisation, and writing.
5=There was little improvement from the ABC analysis. Use teacher feedback to improve your analysis, organisation, and writing.

COMMENTS: 9 SAW Crit C improve
1=To improve: follow the task sheet closely and try to produce a product which more closely resembles the requirements of the task.
2=To improve: utilise the word count limits to include more information and develop a more detailed product. These articles are simply too short.
3=To improve: respect the word count limits on the task by including only the most convincing points and avoiding repetition and overlap. These articles are far too long.
4=To improve: try to choose a more appropriate and interesting location that allows you to write about a variety of topics in relation to the place you have chosen.
5=To Improve: try to create a more convincing brand that better reflects the conventions of the travel industry and better targets your intended audience.
6=To improve: try to conduct better research which will add depth to your articles and provide quality insight into the location.
7=To improve: avoid overlap in your topics and eliminate repetition to improve the breadth of your writing.
8=To improve: have a clear sense of a specific theme or message for each article (i.e. what you want your reader to understand/feel/know) and choose and develop details that support this.
9=To improve: try to include details in your article that will allow the reader to develop a clearer picture of the location.
10=To improve: consider using anecdotal elements in your articles to humanise the location and allow the reader to more effectively picture themselves in that place.
11=To improve: utilise facts and figures to make your articles more informative and interesting.
12=To improve: make sure you have fully developed the focus and key points in all three of your articles, and maintain the quality throughout.
13=To improve: try to strike a better balance between experiential anecdotal writing (storytelling) and discursive factual writing (informing) within your articles.
14=To improve: use more of the conventions of persuasive writing to attract your audience since your purpose is to 'sell' the location to them.
15=To improve: try to include more imagery in your writing to appeal to the reader's senses.
16=To improve: try to make your writing more entertaining and interesting by utilising tone and developing a mood through the techniques of writer's craft.
17=To improve: consider exploring different perspectives more consistently throughout the site.
18=To improve: continue to develop your understanding of genre conventions and sophistication of approach across different text-types and assignments to ensure you maintain this level of quality throughout all your work. Superb effort.

COMMENTS: 9 SAW Crit C improve 2
1=As well, follow the task sheet closely and try to produce a product which more closely resembles the requirements of the task.
2=As well, utilise the word count limits to include more information and develop a more detailed product. These articles are simply too short.
3=As well, respect the word count limits on the task by including only the most convincing points and avoiding repetition and overlap. These articles are far too long.
4=As well, try to choose a more appropriate and interesting location that allows you to write about a variety of topics in relation to the place you have chosen.
5=As well, try to create a more convincing brand that better reflects the conventions of the travel industry and better targets your intended audience.
6=As well, try to conduct better research which will add depth to your articles and provide quality insight into the location.
7=As well, avoid overlap in your topics and eliminate repetition to improve the breadth of your writing.
8=As well, have a clear sense of a specific theme or message for each article (i.e. what you want your reader to understand/feel/know) and choose and develop details that support this.
9=As well, try to include details in your article that will allow the reader to develop a clearer picture of the location.
10=As well, consider using anecdotal elements in your articles to humanise the location and allow the reader to more effectively picture themselves in that place.
11=As well, utilise facts and figures to make your articles more informative and interesting.
12=As well, make sure you have fully developed the focus and key points in all three of your articles and maintain the quality throughout.
13=As well, try to strike a better balance between experiential anecdotal writing (storytelling) and discursive factual writing (informing) within your articles.
14=As well, use more of the conventions of persuasive writing to attract your audience since your purpose is to 'sell' the location to them.
15=As well, try to include more imagery in your writing to appeal to the reader's senses.
16=As well, try to make your writing more entertaining and interesting by utilising tone and developing a mood through the techniques of writer's craft.
17=As well, consider exploring different perspectives more consistently throughout the site.
18=As well, continue to develop your understanding of genre conventions and sophistication of approach across different text-types and assignments to ensure you maintain this level of quality throughout all your work. Superb effort.
19=As well, consider including catchier titles/headlines for your articles.

COMMENTS: 9 SAW Crit D improve
1=To improve: continue to refine and improve the quality of your expression through sophisticated language and the development of your authorial voice through writer's craft.
2=To improve: write more concisely overall by being more succinct. Use the Guide to Writing Concisely in the future to keep developing this skill.
3=To improve: use more of the conventions of the type of writing appropriate to your specific topics (e.g. food review, concert review, etc.).
4=To improve: work on eliminating basic errors in grammar, spelling and/or expression by proofreading your work out loud and using a grammar-checking tool.
5=To improve: proofread your work out loud and use a grammar-checking tool to eliminate basic mistakes and improve the quality of your writing.
6=To improve: use more effective paragraphing and structural techniques such as topic sentences to give your articles a stronger structure.
7=To improve: clarify your expression by only using words whose meaning you are very sure about. You misuse too many complex words.
8=To improve: try to use a more appropriate register and sophistication of expression to better reflect the quality of a high-end travel site.
9=To improve: try to use more sophisticated vocabulary to add quality to your expression of ideas.
10=To improve: consider the purpose and audience of your articles more carefully and use the appropriate grammar, language, and expression to connect with them.
11=To improve: check your punctuation and sentence structure to eliminate incomplete sentences and comma splices.
12=To improve: work on using more effective adjectives, adverbs, and images to add depth and detail to your descriptive writing.
13=To improve: use a range of sentence forms (simple, compound, complex) to vary the rhythm of and add interest in your writing.
14=To improve: use more interesting and effective visual communication devices to reinforce the ideas in your writing.
15=To improve: use higher quality visual elements such as photographs and videos which closely match your written content.
16=To improve: work on the layout of your site to more effectively communicate a sense of quality and care in your work.
17=To improve: continue to refine and improve the quality of your expression through sophisticated language and the development of your authorial voice through writer's craft.

COMMENTS: 9 SAW Crit D improve 2
1=As well, continue to refine and improve the quality of your expression through sophisticated language and the development of your authorial voice through writer's craft.
2=As well, write more concisely overall by being more succinct. Use the Guide to Writing Concisely in the future to keep developing this skill.
3=As well, use more of the conventions of the type of writing appropriate to your specific topics (e.g. food review, concert review, etc.).
4=As well, work on eliminating basic errors in grammar, spelling and/or expression by proofreading your work out loud and using a grammar-checking tool.
5=As well, proofread your work out loud and use a grammar-checking tool to eliminate basic mistakes and improve the quality of your writing.
6=As well, use more effective paragraphing and structural techniques such as topic sentences to give your articles a stronger structure.
7=As well, clarify your expression by only using words whose meaning you are very sure about. You misuse too many complex words.
8=As well, try to use a more appropriate register and sophistication of expression to better reflect the quality of a high-end travel site.
9=As well, try to use more sophisticated vocabulary to add quality to your expression of ideas.
10=As well, consider the purpose and audience of your articles more carefully and use the appropriate grammar, language, and expression to connect with them.
11=As well, check your punctuation and sentence structure to eliminate incomplete sentences and comma splices.
12=As well, work on using more effective adjectives, adverbs, and images to add depth and detail to your descriptive writing.
13=As well, use a range of sentence forms (simple, compound, complex) to vary the rhythm of and add interest in your writing.
14=As well, use more interesting and effective visual communication devices to reinforce the ideas in your writing.
15=As well, use higher quality visual elements such as photographs and videos which closely match your written content.
16=As well, work on the layout of your site to more effectively communicate a sense of quality and care in your work.
17=As well, continue to refine and improve the quality of your expression through sophisticated language and the development of your authorial voice through writer's craft.

COMMENTS: 9 SAW Travel Site Crit. C
1=Crit C: Your travel site and rationale demonstrate a high degree of personal engagement with the creative process; both demonstrate a high degree of insight, imagination, sensitivity, and perceptive exploration of new perspectives and ideas. You make perceptive stylistic choices in terms of linguistic, literary and visual devices, demonstrating good awareness of impact on an audience. You select extensive relevant details and examples to develop ideas with precision.
2=Crit C: Your travel site and rationale demonstrate considerable personal engagement with the creative process; both demonstrate considerable insight, imagination and sensitivity and substantial exploration of, and critical reflection on, new perspectives and ideas. You make thoughtful stylistic choices in terms of linguistic, literary and visual devices, demonstrating good awareness of impact on an audience. You select sufficient relevant details and examples to develop ideas.
3=Crit C: Your travel site and rationale demonstrate adequate personal engagement with the creative process; both demonstrates some insight, imagination and sensitivity and some exploration of, and critical reflection on, new perspectives and ideas. You make some stylistic choices in terms of linguistic, literary and visual devices, demonstrating adequate awareness of impact on an audience. You select some relevant details and examples to develop ideas.
4=Crit C: Your travel site and rationale demonstrate limited personal engagement with the creative process; both demonstrate a limited degree of insight, imagination and sensitivity and minimal exploration of, and critical reflection on, new perspectives and ideas. You make minimal stylistic choices in terms of linguistic, literary and visual devices, demonstrating limited awareness of impact on an audience. You select few relevant details and examples to develop ideas.
5=Crit C: You have failed to achieve the required standard for a grade to be awarded a grade in this assignment and have therefore earned a zero for Criterion C.

COMMENTS: 9 SAW Travel Site Crit. D
1=Crit D: You effectively use a range of appropriate vocabulary, sentence structures and forms of expression, write in a consistently appropriate register and style that serve the context and intention, and use grammar, syntax and punctuation with a high degree of accuracy. Errors in spelling and grammar are minor, and communication is effective. You make effective use of appropriate visual communication techniques.
2=Crit D: You use a varied range of appropriate vocabulary, sentence structures and forms of expression competently. You write competently in a register and style that serve the context and intention, and use grammar, syntax and punctuation with a considerable degree of accuracy. Errors in spelling and grammar do not hinder effective communication. You make sufficient use of appropriate visual communication techniques.
3=Crit D: You use a varied range of appropriate vocabulary, sentence structures and forms of expression competently. You write competently in a register and style that serve the context and intention, and use grammar, syntax and punctuation with a considerable degree of accuracy. There are some errors in spelling and grammar, but these generally do not hinder effective communication. You make sufficient use of appropriate visual communication techniques.
4=Crit D: You use an adequate range of appropriate vocabulary, sentence structures and forms of expression, sometimes in a register and style that serve the context and intention. You use grammar, syntax and punctuation with some degree of accuracy. Errors in spelling and grammar sometimes hinder communication. You make some use of appropriate non-verbal communication techniques.
5=Crit D: You use a limited range of appropriate vocabulary and forms of expression and write in an inappropriate register and style that do not serve the context and intention. You use grammar, syntax and punctuation with limited accuracy. Errors in spelling and grammar often hinder communication. You make limited and/or inappropriate use of visual communication techniques.
6=Crit D: You have failed to achieve the required standard for a grade to be awarded in this assignment and have therefore earned a zero for Criterion D.

COMMENTS: 9 SAW travel site overall
1=Overall, this is an outstanding effort that showcases a superb understanding of the conventions of the genre and a unique interpretation of your location. You have executed the assessment superbly. A great start to Grade 9!
2=Overall, this is an excellent effort that showcases a solid understanding of the conventions of the genre and a detailed interpretation of your location. Continue to refine the subtle aspects of your language use in relation to the text type, audience, and purpose by developing your vocabulary and writer's craft. Well done!
3=Overall, this is a very good effort that showcases a good understanding of the conventions of the genre and a solid interpretation of your location. Continue to work on the recommended improvements to push towards top-band performance. Great work!
4=Overall, this is a good effort that showcases reasonable understanding of the conventions of the genre and a general interpretation of your location. Work hard on the recommended improvements in each criterion to cement your grade and develop throughout Grade 9. Let's push on!
5=Overall, this is an adequate effort that showcases some understanding of the conventions of the genre and an adequate interpretation of your location. You will need to work hard on your understanding of text type and the required level of language throughout Grade 9 if you are to progress to the next level.
6=Overall, this is a poor effort that showcases few of the conventions of the genre and shows vey limited research into your chosen location. You will have to work exceedingly hard on the recommendations made and improve your general level of effort if you wish to progress to DP at the end of Grade 10. There is still time, but you must start now!
7=Overall, you have failed to meet the requirements of the task in numerous areas. You have not recognized the conventions of the genre and have clearly done only the most basic of research into your chosen location. It is my estimation that, without significantly improved effort and dedication to your studies, you will struggle to meet the requirements for DP progression at the end of Grade 10. I strongly suggest you adjust your attitude and effort immediately.
8=Overall, you have failed to submit the work and any draft or process work and have therefore earned a grade of zero for this task.

COMMENTS: Blog Comment A
1=#N demonstrates excellent understanding and appreciation of course concepts in response to the assigned learner portfolio activities. #H posts are convincing and detailed, as well as independent in analysis, synthesis, and evaluation.
2=#N demonstrates very good understanding and appreciation of course concepts in response to the assigned learner portfolio activities. #H posts are mainly convincing and detailed, as well as mostly independent in terms of analysis, synthesis, and evaluation.
3=#N demonstrates good understanding and appreciation of course concepts in response to the assigned learner portfolio activities. #H posts are generally considered, and valid in terms of analysis, synthesis, and evaluation.
4=#N demonstrates adequate understanding and appreciation of the course concepts in response to the assigned learner portfolio activities. #H posts are generally valid in terms of analysis, and/or synthesis.
5=#N demonstrates some understanding and appreciation of course concepts in response to the assigned learner portfolio prompts. #H responses are only sometimes valid in terms of analysis.

COMMENTS: Blog Comment A- Remark
1=#N has completed all of the assigned posts from this unit; #h work reflects #h genuine engagement with course concepts.
2=#N completed all of the assigned posts from this unit; #h work reflects #h genuine engagement with course concepts. With that in mind, #h posts could be more detailed.
3=#N completed all of the assigned posts from this unit; #h work reflects #h genuine engagement with course concepts, in some instances #e could demonstrate additional critical engagement with topics or readings.
4=Unfortunately, #N's learner portfolio is missing some assigned posts. Were all assigned work completed consistently, #h engagement score would better reflect #h understanding.
5=A challenge for #N has been demonstrating understanding and engagement through creative tasks. I suggest outlining what specific insights you plan to achieve, so that you don't become only focused on replicating the conventions of a text type.
6=#N has not consistently completed all assigned learner portfolio activities. This has resulted in poor engagement.
7=Had #N completed all assigned learner portfolio posts, this understanding could have been stronger.

COMMENTS: Blog Comment B
1=#N employs very effective structure with relevant textual detail to support #h critical engagement with the thoughts and feeling expressed in #h work.
2=#N employs effective structure with relevant textual detail to support #h critical engagement with the thoughts and feelings expressed in #h work.
3=#N employs clear structure and relevant textual detail to support an engagement with the thoughts and the feelings expressed in #h work.
4=#N demonstrates basic structure within which the thoughts and the feelings of #h work are explored.
5=#N demonstrates some evidence of structure within which the thoughts and feelings of #h work are explored.

COMMENTS: Blog Comment B- Remark
1=This was exemplified through #h analytical work, as well as how effectively #e replicated the conventions of text types with #h creative tasks.
2=It is important that #h attention to detail when replicating structural conventions does not eclipse #h engagement with a topic or idea.
3=#E judiciously selects relevant details to include in #h analytical and creative tasks.
4=More attention to structural conventions, as well as coherency could ultimately improve the overall quality of #h work.
5=This could be more consistent with all posts.
6=More attention to detail in terms of organization and structure would allow #m to provide work that is more reflective of #h understanding.
7=A challenge for #N seems to be consciously recreating the structural conventions of text types. This attention to detail is essential in terms of written tasks, as well as when analyzing texts for #h Paper 1.

COMMENTS: Blog Comment C
1=#N demonstrates a highly developed level of expression with both creative and analytical writing; with a very good degree of accuracy and clarity.
2=#N demonstrates a well-developed level of expression with both creative and analytical writing; with a good degree of accuracy and clarity.
3=#N demonstrates a good level of expression with both creative and analytical writing; with and adequate degree of accuracy and clarity.
4=#N demonstrates a satisfactory level of expression with both creative and analytical writing; with occasional lapses in in accuracy and clarity.

COMMENTS: Blog Comment C- Remark
1=It is rewarding to see #N using this platform to continually refine #h communication skills.
2=#N is commended for taking advantage of #h learner portfolio as an opportunity to develop #h communication skills.
3=#N should use these posts as an opportunity to practice more complex sentences, as well as extend #h vocabulary.
4=#N could show greater attention to #h accuracy and precision of language.

COMMENTS: Blog Comment Final
1=Overall, #N's learner portfolio demonstrates outstanding engagement. Keep up the good work!
2=Overall, #N's learner portfolio demonstrates very good engagement. Keep up the good work!
3=Overall, #N's learner portfolio demonstrates good engagement. #N is encouraged to challenge #s to put more effort into #h posts.
4=Overall, #N has completed the assigned posts, but could demonstrate greater engagement with course concepts by challenging #s with the activities.
5=Overall, #N's learner portfolio demonstrates good engagement with the course. More pressing assessment may require more attention than your course blog, but #N should still challenge #s to practice crafted writing.

COMMENTS: G11 Final Reports - Closing Comments
1=#E needs to make sure #e answers all the questions in Paper 2 and never leave a question unanswered.
2=The best way for #N to be as successful as possible with #h exams is to practice past papers under timed conditions at home in order to improve #h confidence and produce #h best possible work.
3=Another target is to regularly review at home the vocabulary and texts studied in class.
4=#E must keep up the effort and challenge #s to consistently produce work that reflects #h capabilities.
5=Over the summer, #N is encouraged to build on progress made this year by regularly reviewing at home the Quizlet vocabulary lists and texts studied in class, as well as listening to French music and watching French movies with subtitles to improve #h listening comprehension.
6=Over the summer, #N is encouraged to build on progress made this year by regularly reviewing at home the Quizlet vocabulary lists, as well as listening to French music and watching French movies with subtitles to improve #h listening comprehension.
7=Over the summer, #N is encouraged to regularly review Quizlet vocabulary lists, listen to French music, and watch French movies with subtitles to continue to build on progress made this year.
8=Keep up the excellent work, #N!
9=Keep up the good effort, #N!
10=You should be proud of your progress, #N!
11=You can do it, #N!

COMMENTS: G11 Final Reports - Mock Exam Results
1=#N achieved a level #? in #h mock examinations, which is promising in #h first year of French Ab Initio.
2=#N achieved a level #? in #h mock examinations.
3=In the mock examinations, #N obtained a level #? in the writing task Paper 1 and #? in the reading comprehension Paper 2.
4=In the mock examinations, #N showed promise.
5=In the mock examinations, #N showed a good grasp of writing and reading comprehension skills.
6=In the mock examinations, #N showed a developing grasp of writing and reading comprehension skills.
7=#N's mock examination results show strong understanding.
8=#N's mock examination results show some understanding.
9=#N's mock examination results show good understanding.
10=#N's mock examination results show limited understanding.
11=The results of #h mock examinations were slightly below #h usual performance.
12=While #e did well in the mock examinations on the #? task, #h #? task results were unexpectedly below #h usual standards.

COMMENTS: G11 Final Reports - opening comments
1=#N is an outstanding student who has worked very hard throughout the year.
2=#N has had a mixed #Time-period but there are signs of improvement in #h work of late.
3=After a difficult start #N has done some excellent work and is now back on target.
4=#N is a hard-working student and has put in a steady performance throughout the year.
5=#N has made impressive progress in #h knowledge and understanding of French this year.
6=#N has made some progress in #h knowledge and understanding of French this year.
7=#N has made good progress this year in French.
8=#N has made good progress in #h knowledge and understanding of French this year.
9=#N is an active and engaged member of our French Ab Initio class.
10=#N is a conscientious member of our French Ab Initio class but #e has been struggling with the listening, writing, and reading comprehension tasks this year.
11=Having joined the class later in the year, #e has not put in the additional effort required at home to fill in learning gaps.

COMMENTS: G11 Final Reports - Paper 1 Next Steps
1=The content in Section A is not relevant to the question.
2=#H responses in Paper 1 must fully incorporate the conventions of the chosen text type.
3=#E should review the conventions of various text types and include them in #h Paper 1 responses.
4=#E should work on choosing the most appropriate text type and fully incorporating its conventions in Paper 1.
5=#E needs to use verb tenses and vocabulary accurately.
6=The grammatical structures and vocabulary studied in class should be reviewed regularly at home in order to improve #h written expression.
7=However, some basic grammatical structures studied in class should be reviewed regularly at home in order to improve #h written expression.
8=Before starting a written task, #e needs to make sure #e underlines the key words and clearly understands the task’s expectations.
9=Another main focus area for next year is to improve #h writing skills, as #h command of written language is limited.
10=The vocabulary #e uses is sometimes appropriate, but the grammatical structures are basic and inaccuracies often interfere with meaning.
11=The vocabulary #e uses is sometimes appropriate, but grammatical inaccuracies often interfere with meaning.
12=#E has a large range of vocabulary and at times uses complex sentence structures.
13=#N should ensure #e fulfills and develops all the requirements of the written prompts.
14=#N should ensure #e fulfills all the requirements of the written prompts and develops #h ideas with some detail.
15=#N demonstrated a limited command of language as #e used many English words in both Section A and B of Paper 1, such as

COMMENTS: G11 Final Reports - Paper 1 Results
1=In the Paper 1 writing task, #e earned a level #? and demonstrated an ability to respond, understand, and write using different conventions effectively.
2=In the Paper 1 writing task, #e earned a level #? and demonstrated a good ability to respond, understand, and write using different conventions somewhat effectively.
3=In the Paper 1 writing task, #e earned a level #? and demonstrated some ability to respond, understand, and write using different conventions.
4=In the Paper 1 writing task, #e obtained a level #? and demonstrated a strong command of the written language, using appropriate vocabulary and grammatical structures. However, #e needs to make sure #e understands properly the questions and the task expectation as some ideas are often stated without development.

COMMENTS: G11 Final Reports - Paper 2
1=#E is highly encouraged to use past papers to help #m practise text-handling skills and #h approach to some questions, as in Paper 2 #e obtained a level #?.
2=#E is highly encouraged to use past papers to help #m practise text-handling skills and #h approach to some questions in Paper 2, in which #e obtained a level #?.
3=#E is encouraged to use past papers to help #m practise #h text-handling skills and #h approach to some questions in Paper 2.

COMMENTS: G11 Final Reports - second sentence
1=#E is a caring student who participates sometimes in group discussions.
2=This year, #e has faced some challenges in the speaking, writing, and reading comprehension tasks.
3=This year, #e has faced some challenges in the #? task.
4=This year, #e has faced some challenges in the #? tasks.
5=#H classwork and homework are of good quality.
6=#E experiences a challenge with the command of the language, grammatical structures, and vocabulary.
7=#E experiences a challenge with #?.
8=Most of the time, the number of inaccuracies in #h written responses interfere with meaning and #e struggles in understanding the question.
9=#H classwork and homework are of high quality.
10=In Semester 2, #e faced some challenges and #h level of engagement decreased.
11=#E lacked focus in class and did not contribute productively to class activities.

COMMENTS: G12 Final Reports - Closing Comments
1=#E needs to make sure #e answers all the questions in Paper 2 and never leave a question unanswered.
2=The best way for #N to be as successful as possible with #h exams is to practice past papers under timed conditions at home in order to improve #h confidence and produce #h best possible work.
3=Another target is to regularly review at home the vocabulary and texts studied in class.
4=#E must keep up the effort and challenge #s to consistently produce work that reflects #h capabilities.
5=Over the summer, #N is encouraged to build on progress made this year by regularly reviewing at home the Quizlet vocabulary lists and texts studied in class, as well as listening to French music and watching French movies with subtitles to improve #h listening comprehension.
6=Over the summer, #N is encouraged to build on progress made this year by regularly reviewing at home the Quizlet vocabulary lists, as well as listening to French music and watching French movies with subtitles to improve #h listening comprehension.
7=Over the summer, #N is encouraged to regularly review Quizlet vocabulary lists, listen to French music, and watch French movies with subtitles to continue to build on progress made this year.
8=Keep up the excellent work, #N!
9=Keep up the good effort, #N!
10=You should be proud of your progress, #N!
11=You can do it, #N!

COMMENTS: G12 Final Reports - Mock Exam Results
1=#N achieved a level #? in #h mock examinations, which is promising in #h first year of French Ab Initio.
2=#N achieved a level #? in #h mock examinations.
3=In the mock examinations, #N obtained a level #? in the writing task Paper 1 and #? in the reading comprehension Paper 2.
4=In the mock examinations, #N showed promise.
5=In the mock examinations, #N showed a good grasp of writing and reading comprehension skills.
6=In the mock examinations, #N showed a developing grasp of writing and reading comprehension skills.
7=#N's mock examination results show strong understanding.
8=#N's mock examination results show some understanding.
9=#N's mock examination results show good understanding.
10=#N's mock examination results show limited understanding.
11=The results of #h mock examinations were slightly below #h usual performance.
12=While #e did well in the mock examinations on the #? task, #h #? task results were unexpectedly below #h usual standards.

COMMENTS: G12 Final Reports - opening comments
1=#N is an outstanding student who has worked very hard throughout the year.
2=#N has had a mixed #Time-period but there are signs of improvement in #h work of late.
3=After a difficult start #N has done some excellent work and is now back on target.
4=#N is a hard-working student and has put in a steady performance throughout the year.
5=#N has made impressive progress in #h knowledge and understanding of French this year.
6=#N has made some progress in #h knowledge and understanding of French this year.
7=#N has made good progress this year in French.
8=#N has made good progress in #h knowledge and understanding of French this year.
9=#N is an active and engaged member of our French Ab Initio class.
10=#N is a conscientious member of our French Ab Initio class but #e has been struggling with the listening, writing, and reading comprehension tasks this year.
11=Having joined the class later in the year, #e has not put in the additional effort required at home to fill in learning gaps.

COMMENTS: G12 Final Reports - second sentence
1=#E is a caring student who participates sometimes in group discussions.
2=This year, #e has faced some challenges in the speaking, writing, and reading comprehension tasks.
3=This year, #e has faced some challenges in the #? task.
4=This year, #e has faced some challenges in the #? tasks.
5=#H classwork and homework are of good quality.
6=#E experiences a challenge with the command of the language, grammatical structures, and vocabulary.
7=#E experiences a challenge with #?.
8=Most of the time, the number of inaccuracies in #h written responses interfere with meaning and #e struggles in understanding the question.
9=#H classwork and homework are of high quality.
10=In Semester 2, #e faced some challenges and #h level of engagement decreased.
11=#E lacked focus in class and did not contribute productively to class activities.

COMMENTS: G12 Final Reports - Speaking Exam Results
1=#N achieved a level #? in #h mock examinations, which is promising in #h first year of French Ab Initio.
2=#N achieved a level #? in #h mock examinations.
3=In the mock examinations, #N obtained a level #? in the writing task Paper 1 and #? in the reading comprehension Paper 2.
4=In the mock examinations, #N showed promise.
5=In the mock examinations, #N showed a good grasp of writing and reading comprehension skills.
6=In the mock examinations, #N showed a developing grasp of writing and reading comprehension skills.
7=#N's mock examination results show strong understanding.
8=#N's mock examination results show some understanding.
9=#N's mock examination results show good understanding.
10=#N's mock examination results show limited understanding.
11=The results of #h mock examinations were slightly below #h usual performance.
12=While #e did well in the mock examinations on the #? task, #h #? task results were unexpectedly below #h usual standards.

COMMENTS: G6 Feature Article Crit B
1=Criterion B: Your paragraph structure is sophisticated and highly appropriate for an engaging feature article focused on legacy. Your writing has a natural flow to it that is aided by your consistent use of a wide range of transitional language, PEAL, and your awareness of how original and varied structure can impact your meaning. Well done!
2=Criterion B: Your feature article paragraph structure is effective in organising your ideas in a clear and logical manner using PEAL to engage your reader and is mostly focused on legacy. Your writing has a natural flow to it that is aided by transitional language.
3=Criterion B: You have consistently used basic paragraph structure appropriate for a feature article. Your writing has a logical flow to it and consistently uses PEAL to explain legacy.
4=Criterion B: You have somewhat consistently used basic paragraph structure appropriate for a feature article to explain legacy. Your writing has some flow to it and mostly follows PEAL effectively but needs more focus on legacy.
5=Criterion B: You have used proper basic paragraph structure for a feature article to explain legacy, but this is not consistent. The order of your ideas makes sense and it is fairly easy to follow what you mean, but you need to use PEAL more effectively.
6=Criterion B: There have been some attempts to structure your writing into sentences and paragraphs, but your ideas are not consistently organised in a logical way (e.g. using PEAL) to explain the legacy of your chosen ancient culture. The order of your ideas mostly makes sense for a feature article, but there are times where it is difficult to follow your thoughts.
7=Criterion B: There has been very little attempt to structure your writing in sentences and paragraphs nor to use PEAL to explain the legacy of your chosen ancient culture. The ideas you’ve included aren’t entirely relevant to the task. The order of ideas doesn’t make a lot of sense for a feature article.
8=Criterion B: There has been very little attempt to structure your writing in sentences and paragraphs nor to use PEAL to explain the legacy of your chosen ancient culture. The ideas you’ve included aren’t relevant to the task and are not clearly ordered in a logical manner for a feature article.

COMMENTS: G6 Feature Article Crit B next steps
1=Next steps: think about how to build on ideas in more sophisticated and original ways.
2=Next steps: think about how you could vary your structure to enhance the reader's interest.
3=Next steps: Remember to link at the end of each paragraph to the people and what we learn about them.
4=Next steps: work on writing more concisely and not using more words than necessary to express an idea.
5=Next steps: ensure that you have included all necessary parts of the task.
6=Next steps: work on using the PEAL structure to support an overall idea about legacy.
7=Next steps: use transitional language to aid your overall sentence flow.
8=Next steps: ensure all your paragraphs have one clear topic that relates to a legacy.
9=Next steps: re-read your work and ask yourself if the ideas flow logically from one sentence to another.
10=Next steps: follow the task sheet and graphic organisers to structure your work more logically.
11=Next steps: read the task sheet to ensure you include all the necessary information for the task.
12=Next steps: be more original in your structure (don't copy the models so closely).

COMMENTS: G6 Feature Article Crit C
1=Criterion C: Your work shows extensive effort, thoughtful planning, creativity, and originality throughout. The research, facts, and visual feature article conventions (e.g. headings, subheadings, appropriate images/graphics/illustrations, captions, columns, catchy title, etc.) you used enhance your writing tremendously and show a perceptive awareness of how your ideas and presentation can be used to engage your audience. Excellent work!
2=Criterion C: You have shown a high degree of effort, thoughtful planning, and creativity throughout. Continue to include research, facts, or quotations, as well as a variety of visual feature article conventions (e.g. headings, subheadings, appropriate images/graphics/illustrations, captions, columns, catchy title, etc.) in a thoughtful way to enhance your writing and engage the reader.
3=Criterion C: You have shown very strong effort and engagement in the planning and writing process, as well as creativity throughout. You frequently include research, facts, or quotations, as well as a variety of visual feature article conventions (e.g. headings, subheadings, appropriate images/graphics/illustrations, captions, columns, catchy title, etc.) in a thoughtful way to enhance your writing and engage the reader.
4=Criterion C: You have shown considerable effort and engagement in the planning and writing process, as well as creativity. You include some research, facts, or quotations, as well as visual feature article conventions (e.g. headings, subheadings, appropriate images/graphics/illustrations, captions, columns, catchy title, etc.) in a thoughtful way to enhance your writing and engage the reader.
5=Criterion C: You have shown effort and engagement in the planning and writing process, as well as some creativity. Your article includes research, facts, and quotations, as well as visual feature article conventions (e.g. headings, subheadings, appropriate images/graphics/illustrations, captions, columns, catchy title, etc.), though this needs to be more consistent.
6=Criterion C: You have shown adequate effort and engagement in the planning and writing process, as well as some creativity. Your article includes some research, facts, and quotations, as well as visual feature article conventions (e.g. headings, subheadings, appropriate images/graphics/illustrations, captions, columns, catchy title, etc.).
7=Criterion C: Your work shows limited effort and planning. Your article includes few quotations, research, and facts. There is limited evidence of visual feature article conventions (e.g. headings, subheadings, appropriate images/graphics/illustrations, captions, columns, catchy title, etc.).
8=Criterion C: Your work shows very limited effort and planning. Your article includes few quotations, research, and facts. There is very little evidence of visual feature article conventions (e.g. headings, subheadings, appropriate images/graphics/illustrations, captions, columns, catchy title, etc.).

COMMENTS: G6 Feature Article Crit C next steps
1=Next steps: work on engaging your target audience's interest more consistently by making your article visually stand out more.
2=Next steps: work on using more original headings.
3=Next steps: work on engaging your target audience's interest more consistently.
4=Next steps: make your work sound more like a feature article (e.g. include research and sources).
5=Next steps: make your work look more like a feature article (e.g. include columns, catchy subheadings, images with captions, quotations, journalist's name, etc.).
6=Next steps: Don't just tell the facts; work on engaging the reader's interest through descriptive writing.
7=Next steps: Don't just tell the facts; work on explaining the legacy.
8=Next steps: Work on writing with more of an awareness of your audience.

COMMENTS: G6 Feature Article Crit D
1=Criterion D: You have consistently used a wide range of linguistic techniques to maintain your audience’s engagement. Formal and sophisticated language is used throughout your analysis. There are very few to no grammatical errors. Your accuracy in spelling is very strong with little to no errors, even for sophisticated words or phrases. Excellently written!
2=Criterion D: You have consistently used a wide range of techniques to maintain your reader's engagement, including varying the beginning of your sentences. Appropriate language for a feature article is used throughout. There are very few grammatical and spelling errors, and these do not impact the overall meaning of your ideas.
3=Criterion D: While you have consistently used techniques to engage the reader, try using more examples of extended vocabulary to intrigue your reader. You have used appropriate language for a feature article throughout. Grammatical and spelling errors are rare, but make sure you are double-checking your writing before submitting it.
4=Criterion D: You have made some very good attempts at using your language to engage your reader, but this can be more consistent. Language is appropriate throughout the feature article. Grammatical and spelling errors may occur in some simple language, but there aren’t many that interfere with your overall meaning.
5=Criterion D: There are some good attempts at using your language to make it engaging for the reader. Language is sometimes too informal for a feature article. There are some grammatical and spelling errors, but these are relatively infrequent and could be avoided through double-checking your work.
6=Criterion D: There are some attempts to make your writing engaging for the reader, but this is not consistent. Language is generally appropriate for a feature article but can sometimes be too informal. There are some grammatical errors that could be avoided through checking. There are a few spelling errors that haven’t been checked.
7=Criterion D: There are little to no attempts to make your writing interesting for the reader. Language is generally too informal and not appropriate for the task. There are quite a few grammatical errors and writing has not been checked for the numerous spelling errors in the feature article.
8=Criterion D: There are no attempts to make your writing interesting for the reader. Language is not appropriate for the task. Your writing has many grammatical errors and has not been checked for the several spelling errors included in the feature article.

COMMENTS: G6 Feature Article Crit D next steps
1=Next steps: think about how you could use your language to add a higher level of sophistication to your writing.
2=Next steps: vary the beginning of your sentences using ISPACEd.
3=Next steps: use more sophisticated and complex vocabulary.
4=Next steps: use more precise and specific language (e.g. avoid "things" or "good").
5=Next steps: write with a more formal tone to establish credibility.
6=Next steps: proof-read your work carefully for spelling and grammatical errors.
7=Next steps: proof-read your work carefully for spelling and grammatical errors (especially full stops).
8=Next steps: proof-read your work carefully for spelling and grammatical errors (especially commas).
9=Next steps: proof-read your work carefully for spelling and grammatical errors (especially capitalisation).
10=Next steps: proof-read your work carefully for spelling and grammatical errors (especially full stops and capitalisation).
11=Next steps: proof-read your work carefully for spelling and grammatical errors (especially commas, full stops, and capitalisation).
12=Next steps: read your work aloud to avoid careless errors.
13=Next steps: use a spell-check or grammar-check application to help catch careless errors.
14=Next steps: read the task sheet to ensure you meet the criteria for the task.

COMMENTS: G6 Feature Article Final Comment
1=Overall, this was an excellent feature article - it was entertaining, very authentic, and interesting. Well done, #N.
2=Overall, this was a very good feature article - it was entertaining and interesting. Well done, #N.
3=Overall, this was a good feature article - it was entertaining and interesting. Well done, #N.
4=Overall, this was a good effort in producing a feature article. Good effort, #N.
5=Overall, more effort is needed, as your feature article does not meet the task requirements. Always communicate with the teacher if you do not understand the task fully. You failed to discuss legacy. Consider carefully the comments here in order to improve your understanding and completion of future tasks. I know you can improve on this, #N.

COMMENTS: G6 Oral Presentation Crit B
1=Criterion B: Your presentation has a sophisticated and highly appropriate structure and length, with a clear introduction that states your purpose for presenting. Your ideas flow naturally due to your consistent and varied use of transitional language, PEAL, and your awareness of how original and varied structure can impact your meaning. The visual presentation enhances your audience’s understanding. Well done!
2=Criterion B: Your presentation has an effective and appropriate structure and length, with a clear introduction that states your purpose for presenting. Your ideas flow naturally due to your consistent use of transitional language and PEAL. The visual presentation engages and informs your audience.
3=Criterion B: You have consistently used basic structure appropriate for a presentation, including a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, but this structured could be more varied for interest. Your ideas flow logically and consistently use PEAL to inform your audience. The visual presentation mostly enhances your audience’s understanding.
4=Criterion B: You have somewhat consistently used basic structure appropriate for a presentation, including an introduction, body, and conclusion, but need to clearly introduce yourself and your purpose. Your ideas mostly flow logically and sometimes use PEAL to inform your audience. The visual presentation mostly enhances your audience’s understanding but is at times distracting.
5=Criterion B: You have used a very basic structure for a presentation but this could be enhanced to be clearer. Your ideas sometimes flow logically and use PEAL to inform your audience. The visual presentation aids your audience’s understanding but is at times distracting.
6=Criterion B: There have been some attempts to structure your presentation into sections but your ideas are not consistently organised in a logical way (e.g. introduction with purpose, body using PEAL, conclusion). There are times where it is difficult to follow your thoughts. The visual presentation is at times distracting.
7=Criterion B: There has been very little attempt to structure your presentation into sections. The ideas you’ve included aren’t entirely relevant to the task. The order of ideas doesn’t make a lot of sense for a presentation. The visual presentation is not very helpful for the audience.
8=Criterion B: There has been very little attempt to structure your presentation into sections. The ideas you’ve included aren’t entirely relevant to the task. The order of ideas doesn’t make a lot of sense for a presentation. The visual presentation is missing or not very helpful for the audience.

COMMENTS: G6 Oral Presentation Crit B next steps
1=Next steps: think about how to build on ideas in more sophisticated and original ways.
2=Next steps: think about how you could vary your structure to enhance the audience’s interest.
3=Next steps: remember to link at the end of each point to the question of what makes the technique scary.
4=Next steps: work on speaking more concisely and not using more words than necessary to express an idea.
5=Next steps: always remember to clearly introduce yourself and WHY you're here (not just what you will present).
6=Next steps: always remember to conclude clearly (e.g. by thanking your audience, etc.).
7=Next steps: stay within the time limit.
8=Next steps: expand on your ideas; your presentation was too short.
9=Next steps: work on using the PEAL structure to explain why and how an element or technique is scary.
10=Next steps: ensure all your points are relevant to the idea of how you created a scary mood.
11=Next steps: have less text on your slides; use key words and ideas only.
12=Next steps: think about how your visual presentation can be more helpful, engaging, and/or appropriate for the situation.
13=Next steps: think about how your slides can engage your audience better with more images and some colour.
14=Next steps: use transitional language between ideas to aid the overall flow of ideas.
15=Next steps: use transitional language between ideas rather than simply reading your headings.
16=Next steps: ask yourself if your ideas flow logically from one sentence to another.
17=Next steps: ensure that you have included all necessary parts of the task.
18=Next steps: follow the task sheet and graphic organisers to structure your work more logically.
19=Next steps: read the task sheet to ensure you include all the necessary information for the task.
20=Next steps: be more original in your structure (don't copy the models so closely).

COMMENTS: G6 Oral Presentation Crit B next steps 2
1=Also, think about how to build on ideas in more sophisticated and original ways.
2=Also, think about how you could vary your structure to enhance the audience’s interest.
3=Also, remember to link at the end of each point to the question of what makes the technique scary.
4=Also, work on speaking more concisely and not using more words than necessary to express an idea.
5=Also, always remember to clearly introduce yourself and WHY you're here (not just what you will present).
6=Also, always remember to conclude clearly (e.g. by thanking your audience, etc.).
7=Also, stay within the time limit.
8=Also, expand on your ideas; your presentation was too short.
9=Also, work on using the PEAL structure to explain why and how an element or technique is scary.
10=Also, ensure all your points are relevant to the idea of how you created a scary mood.
11=Also, have less text on your slides; use key words and ideas only.
12=Also, think about how your visual presentation can be more helpful, engaging, and/or appropriate for the situation.
13=Also, think about how your slides can engage your audience better with more images and some colour.
14=Also, use transitional language between ideas to aid the overall flow of ideas.
15=Also, use transitional language between ideas rather than simply reading your headings.
16=Also, ask yourself if your ideas flow logically from one sentence to another.
17=Also, ensure that you have included all necessary parts of the task.
18=Also, follow the task sheet and graphic organisers to structure your work more logically.
19=Also, read the task sheet to ensure you include all the necessary information for the task.
20=Also, be more original in your structure (don't copy the models so closely).

COMMENTS: G6 Oral Presentation Crit B simple
1=Criterion B: Your presentation was organised in a sophisticated way, with a clear introduction that states your purpose for presenting. Your ideas flow naturally due to consistent and varied use of transitional language, PEAL, and an awareness of how original and varied structure can impact meaning. The visual presentation enhances your audience’s understanding. Well done!
2=Criterion B: Your presentation is very well organised, with a clear introduction that states your purpose for presenting. Your ideas flow naturally due to your consistent use of transitional language and PEAL. The visual presentation engages and informs your audience.
3=Criterion B: Your presentation is effectively organised, a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, but this structure could be more varied for interest. Your ideas flow logically and consistently use PEAL. The visual presentation mostly enhances your audience’s understanding.
4=Criterion B: Your presentation is somewhat effectively organised, with an introduction, body, and conclusion, but you need to clearly introduce yourself and state your purpose. Your ideas mostly flow logically and sometimes use PEAL. The visual presentation mostly enhances your audience’s understanding but is at times distracting.
5=Criterion B: You've used a very basic structure for a presentation but this could be enhanced to be clearer. Your ideas sometimes flow logically and use PEAL. The visual presentation aids your audience’s understanding but is at times distracting.
6=Criterion B: There have been some attempts to structure your presentation into sections but your ideas are not consistently organised in a logical way. There are times where it is difficult to follow your thoughts. The visual presentation is at times distracting.
7=Criterion B: There has been very little attempt to structure your presentation into sections. The ideas you’ve included aren’t entirely relevant to the task and the order of ideas doesn’t make a lot of sense for this presentation. The visual presentation is not very helpful for the audience.
8=Criterion B: There has been very little attempt to structure your presentation into sections. The ideas you’ve included aren’t relevant to the task and are randomly ordered. The visual presentation is missing or not very helpful for the audience.

COMMENTS: G6 Oral Presentation Crit B simpler
1=Criterion B: Your presentation was expertly organised, and your purpose for presenting was clear. Your ideas flow naturally due to consistent and varied use of transitional language and PEAL, and an awareness of how original and varied structure can impact meaning. The visual presentation enhances your audience’s understanding. Well done!
2=Criterion B: Your presentation is very well organised, and your purpose for presenting was clear. Your ideas flow naturally due to your consistent use of transitional language and PEAL. The visual presentation engages and informs your audience.
3=Criterion B: Your presentation is effectively organised, a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, but this structure could be more varied for interest. Your ideas flow logically and consistently use PEAL. The visual presentation mostly enhances your audience’s understanding.
4=Criterion B: Your presentation is somewhat effectively organised, with an introduction, body, and conclusion, but your purpose is not stated. Your ideas mostly flow logically and sometimes use PEAL. The visual presentation mostly enhances your audience’s understanding but is at times distracting.
5=Criterion B: You've used a very basic structure for a presentation but this could be clearer. Your ideas sometimes flow logically and use PEAL. The visual presentation aids your audience’s understanding but is at times distracting.
6=Criterion B: There have been some attempts to structure your presentation into sections but your ideas are not consistently organised in a logical way. The visual presentation is at times distracting.
7=Criterion B: There has been very little attempt to structure your presentation into sections. Some ideas aren't entirely relevant to the task and the order of ideas doesn’t make a lot of sense for this presentation. The visual presentation is not very helpful for the audience.
8=Criterion B: There has been very little attempt to structure your presentation into sections. The ideas you’ve included aren’t relevant to the task and are randomly ordered. The visual presentation is missing or not very helpful for the audience.

COMMENTS: G6 Oral Presentation Crit C
1=Criterion C: Your work shows extensive effort, thoughtful planning, creativity, and originality throughout. The creative writing techniques (e.g. descriptive writing, showing-not-telling, figurative language, etc.) and examples you used enhance your writing and presentation tremendously and show a perceptive awareness of how your ideas can be used to engage your audience. Excellent work!
2=Criterion C: You have shown a high degree of effort, thoughtful planning, and creativity throughout. Continue to use creative writing techniques (e.g. descriptive writing, showing-not-telling, figurative language, etc.) and choose examples in a thoughtful way to enhance your writing and presentation and engage your audience.
3=Criterion C: You have shown very strong effort and engagement in the planning and writing process, as well as creativity throughout. You frequently use creative writing techniques (e.g. descriptive writing, showing-not-telling, figurative language, etc.) and choose examples in a thoughtful way to enhance your writing and presentation and engage your audience.
4=Criterion C: You have shown considerable effort and engagement in the planning and writing process, as well as creativity. You use some creative writing techniques (e.g. descriptive writing, showing-not-telling, figurative language, etc.) and choose good examples to enhance your writing and presentation and engage your audience.
5=Criterion C: You have shown effort and engagement in the planning and writing process and some creativity. You use some creative writing techniques (e.g. descriptive writing, showing-not-telling, figurative language, etc.) and choose some relevant examples to enhance your presentation and engage your audience.
6=Criterion C: You have shown adequate effort and engagement in the planning and writing process and some creativity. You use some creative writing techniques (e.g. descriptive writing, showing-not-telling, figurative language, etc.) and choose somewhat relevant examples to enhance your presentation and engage your audience, though this needs to be more consistent.
7=Criterion C: Your work shows limited effort and planning. You use few creative writing techniques (e.g. descriptive writing, showing-not-telling, figurative language, etc.) and choose few relevant examples to enhance your presentation and engage your audience.
8=Criterion C: Your work shows very limited effort and planning. You use few creative writing techniques (e.g. descriptive writing, showing-not-telling, figurative language, etc.) and choose few relevant examples to enhance your audience’s understanding.

COMMENTS: G6 Oral Presentation Crit C next steps
1=Next steps: work on engaging the audience's interest more consistently by using more creative writing techniques in your opener.
2=Next steps: work on engaging your audience's interest more consistently in the presentation.
3=Next steps: include more original and creative Gothic elements in your story opener.
4=Next steps: work on choosing more original Gothic elements and examples to analyse.
5=Next steps: work on choosing better examples to clearly illustrate your points.
6=Next steps: work on quoting relevant examples from your story to clearly illustrate your points.
7=Next steps: make sure you discuss literary Gothic elements--some of your points were not typical of the genre.
8=Next steps: elaborate more on your explanations by being more specific.
9=Next steps: elaborate more on your explanations of the Gothic elements.
10=Next steps: elaborate more on your explanations of the figurative language.
11=Next steps: follow the task sheet and discuss the right number of elements and techniques.
12=Next steps: make your work sound more like a Gothic story opening.
13=Next steps: make your work sound more like it's of the Gothic genre. It had more features of pure horror than Gothic.
14=Next steps: make your work sound more like it's of the Gothic genre. It had some features of the Science-Fiction that didn't suit this task.
15=Next steps: remember to follow the task requirements and only write an opening, not a full story.
16=Next steps: don't just tell or retell the story; work on engaging the reader's interest through descriptive writing.
17=Next steps: don't just tell or retell the story; work on explaining the universal fears.
18=Next steps: work on writing and speaking with more of an awareness of your audience.
19=Next steps: read the task sheet to ensure you meet the criteria for the task.

COMMENTS: G6 Oral Presentation Crit C next steps 2
1=Also, work on engaging the audience's interest more consistently by using more creative writing techniques in your opener.
2=Also, work on engaging your audience's interest more consistently in the presentation.
3=Also, include more original and creative Gothic elements in your story opener.
4=Also, work on choosing more original Gothic elements and examples to analyse.
5=Also, work on choosing better examples to clearly illustrate your points.
6=Also, work on quoting relevant examples from your story to clearly illustrate your points.
7=Also, make sure you discuss literary Gothic elements--some of your points were not typical of the genre.
8=Also, elaborate more on your explanations by being more specific.
9=Also, elaborate more on your explanations of the Gothic elements.
10=Also, elaborate more on your explanations of the figurative language.
11=Also, follow the task sheet and discuss the right number of elements and techniques.
12=Also, make your work sound more like a Gothic story opening.
13=Also, make your work sound more like it's of the Gothic genre. It had more features of pure horror than Gothic.
14=Also, make your work sound more like it's of the Gothic genre. It had some features of the Science-Fiction that didn't suit this task.
15=Also, remember to follow the task requirements and only write an opening, not a full story.
16=Also, don't just tell or retell the story; work on engaging the reader's interest through descriptive writing.
17=Also, don't just tell or retell the story; work on explaining the universal fears.
18=Also, work on writing and speaking with more of an awareness of your audience.
19=Also, read the task sheet to ensure you meet the criteria for the task.

COMMENTS: G6 Oral Presentation Crit C simple
1=Criterion C: Suspenseful and authentically "Gothic" story, with very sharp analysis! Your work shows extensive effort, thoughtful planning, creativity, and originality throughout. The creative writing techniques and examples you used greatly enhance your presentation and show a perceptive awareness of how your ideas can be used to engage your audience. Excellent work!
2=Criterion C: Scary story and sharp analysis! You have shown a high degree of effort, thoughtful planning, and creativity. Continue to use creative writing techniques and choose thoughtful examples to enhance your presentation and engage your audience.
3=Criterion C: Scary story with strong analysis! You have shown very strong effort and engagement in the planning and writing process, as well as creativity. You frequently use creative writing techniques (e.g. descriptive writing, figurative language, etc.) and choose thoughtful examples to enhance your presentation and engage your audience.
4=Criterion C: Scary story and some good analysis here. You have shown considerable effort and engagement in the planning and writing process, as well as creativity. You use some creative writing techniques (e.g. descriptive writing, figurative language, etc.) and choose good examples to engage your audience.
5=Criterion C: Some scary elements and some good analysis here. You have shown effort and engagement in the planning and writing process and some creativity. You use some creative writing techniques (e.g. descriptive writing, figurative language, etc.) and choose some relevant examples to enhance your presentation.
6=Criterion C: A good story with some good analysis. You have shown adequate effort and engagement in the planning and writing process and some creativity. You use some creative writing techniques (e.g. descriptive writing, figurative language, etc.) and choose somewhat relevant examples to engage your audience, though this needs to be more consistent.
7=Criterion C: Your work shows limited effort and planning. You use few creative writing techniques (e.g. descriptive writing, figurative language, etc.) and choose few relevant examples to enhance your presentation and engage your audience.
8=Criterion C: Your work shows very limited effort and planning. You use few creative writing techniques (e.g. descriptive writing, figurative language, etc.) and choose few relevant examples to enhance your audience’s understanding.

COMMENTS: G6 Oral Presentation Crit D
1=Criterion D: Your language and communication was sophisticated and engaging, while your tone was appropriate. Your eye contact, intonation, and pace made this pleasant to listen to. There are very few to no grammatical errors. Your accuracy in spelling on the slides is very strong with little to no errors, even for sophisticated words or phrases. Excellent job!
2=Criterion D: You have consistently used a wide range of techniques to maintain your audience’s engagement, including varying the beginning of your sentences, and an appropriate tone. Your eye contact, intonation, and pace were clear and effective. There are very few grammatical and spelling errors, and these do not impact the overall meaning of your ideas.
3=Criterion D: While you have consistently used techniques to engage the audience, try using more examples of extended vocabulary to intrigue your listener. Your tone is mostly appropriate, while your eye contact, intonation, and pace were mostly clear and effective. Grammatical and spelling errors are rare, but make sure you are double-checking your text before submitting it.
4=Criterion D: You have made some very good attempts at using your language to engage your audience, but this can be more consistent. Tone is mostly appropriate, while your eye contact, intonation, and pace were somewhat clear and effective. Grammatical and spelling errors may occur in some simple language, but there aren’t many that interfere with your overall meaning.
5=Criterion D: There are some good attempts at using your language to make it engaging for the audience. Language is sometimes too informal. Your eye contact, intonation, and pace could be clearer and more effective. There are some grammatical and spelling errors, but these are relatively infrequent and could be avoided through double-checking your work.
6=Criterion D: There are some attempts to make your writing engaging for the audience, but this is not consistent. Tone can sometimes be too informal. Use your eye contact, intonation, and pace more effectively. There are some grammatical errors that could be avoided through checking. There are a few spelling errors on the slides that haven’t been checked.
7=Criterion D: There are little to no attempts to make your writing interesting for the audience. Language is generally too informal and not appropriate for the task. There are quite a few grammatical errors and the presentation slides include numerous spelling errors.
8=Criterion D: There are no attempts to make your writing interesting for the audience. Language is not appropriate for the task. Your presentation includes many grammatical errors and has not been checked for the several spelling errors included in the slides.

COMMENTS: G6 Oral Presentation Crit D next steps
1=Next steps: think about how you could use your language to add a higher level of sophistication to your writing.
2=Next steps: vary the beginning of your sentences using ISPACEd.
3=Next steps: use more sophisticated and complex vocabulary.
4=Next steps: use more precise and specific language (e.g. avoid vague wording such as ”things" or "good”).
5=Next steps: speak with a more formal tone in the analysis to establish credibility.
6=Next steps: proof-read your presentation slides carefully for spelling and grammatical errors.
7=Next steps: rehearse your presentation aloud several times to avoid stumbling and to sound more confident.
8=Next steps: deliver your presentation with a more conversational or natural tone; avoid sounding like you’re reading.
9=Next steps: slow down and pause more effectively so your audience can process your ideas.
10=Next steps: speak TO your audience rather than read at the audience.
11=Next steps: think about how you could use your body language, tone of voice, and pace to engage your audience and more clearly communicate your message.
12=Next steps: read the task sheet to ensure you meet the criteria for the task.

COMMENTS: G6 Oral Presentation Crit D next steps 2
1=Also, think about how you could use your language to add a higher level of sophistication to your writing.
2=Also, vary the beginning of your sentences using ISPACEd.
3=Also, use more sophisticated and complex vocabulary.
4=Also, use more precise and specific language (e.g. avoid vague wording such as ”things" or "good”).
5=Also, speak with a more formal tone in the analysis to establish credibility.
6=Also, proof-read your presentation slides carefully for spelling and grammatical errors.
7=Also, rehearse your presentation aloud several times to avoid stumbling and to sound more confident.
8=Also, deliver your presentation with a more conversational or natural tone; avoid sounding like you’re reading.
9=Also, slow down and pause more effectively so your audience can process your ideas.
10=Also, speak TO your audience rather than read at the audience.
11=Also, think about how you could use your body language, tone of voice, and pace to engage your audience and more clearly communicate your message.
12=Also, read the task sheet to ensure you meet the criteria for the task.

COMMENTS: G6 Oral Presentation Crit D simple
1=Criterion D: Great job speaking TO your audience. Your language and communication were sophisticated and engaging, and your tone appropriate. Your eye contact, intonation, and pace made this pleasant to listen to. There are very few to no grammatical and spelling errors on the slide or in the oral presentation, even for sophisticated words or phrases. Excellent job!
2=Criterion D: Great job speaking TO your audience. You have consistently used a wide range of techniques to engage your audience, including varying the beginning of your sentences and an appropriate tone. Your eye contact, intonation, and pace were clear and effective. There are very few grammatical and spelling errors, and these do not impact the overall meaning of your ideas.
3=Criterion D: Good job speaking TO your audience. While you have consistently used techniques to engage the audience, try using more examples of extended vocabulary to intrigue your listener. Your tone is mostly appropriate, while your eye contact, intonation, and pace were mostly clear and effective. Grammatical and spelling errors are rare.
4=Criterion D: You have made some very good attempts at speaking TO the audience, but this can be more consistent. Your tone is mostly appropriate, while your eye contact, intonation, and pace were somewhat clear and effective. Grammatical and spelling errors may occur in some simple language but often don't interfere with overall meaning.
5=Criterion D: There are some good attempts at using your language to engage the audience. Language is sometimes too informal. Your eye contact, intonation, and pace could be clearer and more effective. There are some grammatical and spelling errors, but these are relatively infrequent and could be avoided by double-checking your work.
6=Criterion D: There are some attempts to make your writing engaging for the audience, but this is not consistent. Your tone can sometimes be too informal. Use your eye contact, intonation, and pace more effectively. There are some spoken grammatical and spelling errors on the slides that could be avoided through checking.
7=Criterion D: There are little to no attempts to make your writing interesting for the audience. Language is generally too informal and not appropriate for the task. There are quite a few spoken grammatical errors and numerous spelling errors in the slides.
8=Criterion D: There are no attempts to make your writing interesting for the audience. Language is not appropriate for the task. Your presentation includes many spoken grammatical errors and several spelling errors in the slides.

COMMENTS: G6 Oral Presentation Final Comment
1=Overall, this was an excellent presentation - it was entertaining, very authentic, and interesting. Well done, #N.
2=Overall, this was a very good presentation - it was entertaining and interesting. Well done, #N.
3=Overall, this was a good presentation - it was entertaining and interesting. Well done, #N.
4=Overall, this was a good effort in producing an informative and engaging presentation, #N.
5=Overall, this work seems rushed and is not up to your usual standards. I know you can improve on this, #N.
6=Overall, more effort is needed. This work seemed rushed. I know you can improve on this, #N.
7=Overall, more effort is needed, as your presentation does not meet the task requirements. Always communicate with the teacher if you do not understand the task fully. You failed to discuss Gothic elements. Consider carefully the comments here in order to improve your understanding and completion of future tasks. I know you can improve on this, #N.

COMMENTS: G7 Improvement from Poetry Analysis
1=Great improvement from the poetry analysis!
2=Some improvement from the poetry analysis!
3=Keep working to improve your analysis, organisation, and writing.
4=There was little improvement from the poetry analysis. Use teacher feedback to improve your analysis, organisation, and writing.

COMMENTS: GI A1 Comment
1=#N imparted a powerful impression of the significance of this issue in a global context. There was also an impressive and nuanced call to action detailing of how the Raha community could take action in a local context
2=It was clear that #N had carefully researched this global issue and prioritized the most significant information for #h speech. There was also an impressive and nuanced call to action detailing of how the Raha community could take action in a local context.
3=#N effectively framed the nature of the issue on a global scale through well-considered research as well as #h application of persuasive appeals and rhetorical devices.
4=#N effectively framed the nature of the issue on a global scale through well-considered research as well as #h application of persuasive appeals and rhetorical devices. #H argument of how to take action could have been better grounded in a local context, yet was still overall quite successful.
5=It was clear that #N had carefully researched this global issue and prioritized the most significant information for #h speech. However, #h argument of how and why to take action could have been more sophisticated.
6=Although #N's speech showed evidence of some research, #e could have demonstrated a more sophisticated understanding.
7=There was an impressive and nuanced call to action detailing how the Raha community could take action in a local context.
8=#N's combination of rhetorical appeals and devices resulted in an effective argument, although a few ideas framing the issue on a global scale could have been more cohesive.
9=#N's persuasive speech showed evidence of well-considered research; #e also did a solid job showing the interconnectedness of various serious problems the world faces. In order to push the top mark band, a clearer sense of isolating and framing the key global issue of #h speech, as well as providing an argument of how to take action in a local context was necessary.
10=#N's speech was well-considered, but would have benefitted from more precise ways that the audience could take direct action.
11=#N attempted various approaches to ethos, pathos, and logos, and included some rhetorical devices, but struggled to frame the significance of the issue on a global scale beyond listing examples.
12=#N effectively used rhetorical devices throughout #h speech to emphasize #h point. However, #h speech read more like a classroom presentation than an impassioned political speech on a global issue of significance.

COMMENTS: GI A2 Comment
1= #?

COMMENTS: GI B Comment
1=#N had obviously carefully considered the rhetorical appeals and devices that #e included in #h speech. #E provided detailed awareness of effect in conjunction with #h intended audience.
2=Additional attention to #N's choice of rhetorical appeals and devices in conjunction with the specific topic, audience and purpose could have improved the overall effectiveness of the speech.
3=To be sure, #N made very good use of rhetorical devices; however, the speech could have included a more effect use of rhetorical appeals, as well as a clearer sense of what the audience can do in their local context.
4=#N's speech was very effective. #E maintained a consistent awareness of #h audience and their relationship to the topic, and this awareness influenced #h choice of rhetorical appeals and devices.

COMMENTS: GI C Comment
1=Overall, the speech was well structured and mostly coherent with good focus. Some of #N's rhetorical choices could have been more cohesively structured.
2=#N framed the issue effectively and gradually developed the gravity through the use pathos. #H final call to action was appropriate and impactful.
3=How #e framed and concluded #h speech was particularly effective.
4=#N's speech could have been more cohesive had #e better framed #h global issue.
5=#E hooked #h audience, framed the global issue, developed #h ideas, and drove home a successful call to action.

COMMENTS: GI D Comment
1=At the same time, in some instances #N's choice of diction and sentence structure could have been more precise and effective in communicating #h ideas
2=A few issues of accuracy did not prevent #m from entering the top mark band.
3=The speech was well written, but could have been more effective with slightly more sophisticated language.
4=Unfortunately, errors in accuracy limited this score.
5=#H language was accurate and precise, but would benefit from additional sophistication.
6=There were few technical errors, but an overall greater sophistication of language and register is achievable.
7=At times, #e uses descriptive language effectively, though at other times ideas are vague and cryptic.
8=Despite #h target audience, #h vocabulary and sentence structure could have been somewhat more sophisticated and at times emotive.
9=#H register and use of descriptive language was effective for #h purpose.

COMMENTS: GI Opening Comment
1=This was an original and well executed idea for a persuasive speech addressing a global issue.
2=It was satisfying to see that #N's speech demonstrated some good skills.
3=This was a particularly creative and empowering speech.
4=This was a well considered and inspiring speech.
5=This was an original idea for a persuasive speech addressing a global issues, but could have been better executed.
6=This speech shows limited attention to the conventions of the text type as well as the expectations for this assessment.

COMMENTS: GI Speech A
1=The speech shows a perceptive understanding of the global issue. There is an insightful appreciation of the significance of the issue on a global scale, and a convincing argument of how and why to take action in a local context.
2=---
3=The speech shows a thorough understanding of the global issue. There is an insightful appreciation of the significance of the issue on a global scale, and a good argument of how and why to take action in a local context.
4=---
5=The speech shows an understanding of the global issue. There is an appreciation of the significance of the issue on a global scale, and a satisfactory argument of how and why to take action in a local context.
6= #?
7=The speech shows some understanding of the global issue. There is some appreciation of the significance of the issue on a global scale, and a partial argument of how and why to take action in a local context.
8=---
9=The speech shows little understanding of the global issue. There is minimal appreciation of the significance of the issue on a global scale, and limited argument how and why to take action in a local context.

COMMENTS: GI Speech B
1=The speech demonstrates an insightful and convincing application of authorial choices. The selection of rhetorical appeals and devices is very well informed by the audience and purpose.
2=The speech demonstrates an appropriate and at times insightful application of authorial choices. Selection of rhetorical appeals and devices is well informed by audience and purpose.
3=The speech demonstrates a generally appropriate application of the authorial choices.
4=The speech demonstrates some appropriate application of the authorial choices.
5=The speech demonstrates little relevant application of authorial choices.

COMMENTS: GI Speech C
1=The presentation of ideas is effectively organized and coherent. The analysis is well focused.
2=The presentation of ideas is well organized and mostly coherent. The speech is adequately focused.
3=The presentation of ideas is adequately organized in a generally coherent manner. There is some focus in the speech.
4=Some organization is apparent in the presentation of ideas. There is little focus in the speech.
5=Little organization is apparent in the presentation of ideas. No discernible focus is apparent in the speech.

COMMENTS: GI Speech Closing Comment
1=Overall, this creative task was a great example of a well constructed and carefully considered persuasive speech. Well done!
2=This was a well-conceived and effective speech. #N is congratulated for #h effort!
3=This was a well-conceived and effective speech. #N is congratulated for #h effort
4=#N is congratulated for #h engagement and achievement with this assessment.
5=Overall, this was a good attempt at speech writing, but the final product needed to be better aligned with the expectation of the rubric. This level of achievement is not reflective of #N's full potential.
6=A fair attempt at speech writing, but more attention to the conventions of the text type and expectations of the rubric would have benefited this assessment.
7=Overall, this was a good attempt at persuasive speech writing. #N is congratulated for pursuing a topic that #e is personally invested in.

COMMENTS: GI Speech D
1=The language is clear, accurate and varied; occasional errors do not hinder communication. Vocabulary and syntax are varied and create effect. Elements of style (for example, register, tone and rhetorical devices) are appropriate to the task and enhance the oral.
2=The language is clear and accurate; occasional errors do not hinder communication. Vocabulary and syntax are appropriate and varied. Elements of style (for example, register, tone and rhetorical devices) are appropriate to the task and somewhat enhance the oral.
3=The language is clear; errors do not hinder communication. Vocabulary and syntax are appropriate to the task but simple and repetitive. Elements of style (for example, register, tone and rhetorical devices) are appropriate to the task and neither enhance nor detract from the oral.
4=The language is generally clear; errors sometimes hinder communication. Vocabulary and syntax are often imprecise with inaccuracies. Elements of style (for example, register, tone and rhetorical devices) are often inappropriate to the task and detract from the oral.
5=Language is rarely clear and appropriate; there are many errors in grammar, vocabulary and sentence construction and little sense of register and style.

COMMENTS: Grade 11 A
1=#N is an extremely motivated student who demonstrates a relentless desire to engage with course material and achieve #h best. #H intrinsic motivation to learn, and ability to make course work personally relevant and meaningful, has fostered very impressive results. #N always participates in discussions and activities, and consistently makes insightful contributions to #h learning community both in class and on #h learner portfolio.
2=Throughout Grade 11, #N has demonstrated that #e is a highly motivated student who strives to achieve #h full potential. #N always comes to class prepared, takes an active role in activities and discussions, and continues to solidify #h understanding with #h learner portfolio. #N is congratulated for the positive attitude #e has shown towards #h studies.
3=Throughout Grade 11, #N has demonstrated that #e is a motivated student with a desire to achieve #h full potential. #N regularly comes to class prepared, but is encouraged to take a more active role in activities and discussions. Although #N is a reserved student in class, #e does frequently show strong engagement with the course through #h learner portfolio.
4=Throughout Grade 11, #N has demonstrated that #e is a motivated student with a desire to achieve #h full potential. #N regularly comes to class prepared, but is encouraged to take a more active role in activities and discussions. #N has shown some initiative with learner portfolio, but #h posts often read as rushed or are incomplete.
5=Throughout Grade 11, #N has demonstrated that #e is a motivated student with a desire to achieve #h full potential. #N regularly comes to class prepared, and has progressively adopted a more active role in activities and discussions. The quality of #h work is steadily improving and #e has demonstrated that #e is capable of reflecting on, and effectively applying feedback.
6=Throughout Grade 11, #N has demonstrated adequate initiative with the course. Although #N occasionally participates in classroom discussions and activities, #e lacks much engagement or enthusiasm towards the material. Likewise, #h learner portfolio posts often read as rushed or are incomplete.
7=Throughout Grade 11, #N has demonstrated adequate initiative with the course. Although #N occasionally participates in classroom discussions and activities, #e lacks much engagement or enthusiasm towards the material. At the same time, #N's learner portfolio posts do offer some insight into #h personal impression of concepts and material.
8=Throughout Grade 11, #N has not demonstrated much motivation with the course. Although #N occasionally participates in classroom discussions and activities, #e lacks much engagement or enthusiasm towards the material. At the same time, #N's learner portfolio posts do offer some insight into #h personal impression of concepts and material.
9=Throughout Grade 11, #N has not demonstrated much motivation with the course. Although #N occasionally participates in classroom discussions and activities, #e lacks much engagement or enthusiasm towards the material. Likewise, #h learner portfolio posts often read as rushed or are incomplete.
10=Throughout Grade 11, #N has not demonstrated much motivation with the course. Although #N occasionally participates in classroom discussions and activities, #e lacks much engagement or enthusiasm towards the material. Likewise, #h learner portfolio posts often read as rushed or are incomplete.

COMMENTS: Grade 11 B
1=#N has adjusted well to the challenges of the Diploma Programme and has achieved strong results this year.
2=#N has struggled to adjust to the challenges of the Diploma Programme.
3=#E has demonstrated that #e is very capable of reflecting on #h work, and applies feedback effectively; an essential skill for success in the Diploma Programme.
4=#E is a conscientious learner who applies feedback effectively and is continually improving the quality of #h work, an essential skill for success in the Diploma Programme.
5=#N's success with timed assessments is the result of diligent practice and preparation. The writing #e has completed on #h learner portfolio illustrates impressive critical thinking skills and #h attention to detail.
6=#H contributions to #h learner portfolio illustrate dedication to the quality of #h work as well as #h attention to detail. #N's timed assessments have proven to be more of a challenge; however, #N is a conscientious learner who applies feedback effectively and is continually improving the quality of #h work.
7=The quality of #h work #h is steadily improving and #e has demonstrated that #e is capable of reflecting on, and effectively applying feedback.
8=#N has struggled with time management throughout the course and this has been reflected in the varying quality of #h work. I strongly suggest for #N to develop a study schedule that will help #m organize #h time and achieve #h best.
9=Although #N has a strong foundation of knowledge with texts and concepts, #e struggles to conceptualize the expectations of these assessments. #N is urged to review sample papers and is encouraged to continue to practice writing under timed conditions at home.
10=An obstacle for #N has been how effectively #e has been able to communicate #h understanding using analytical language and subject specific terminology. It is important that #N is confident to do so with all assessments. A good strategy is to review key concepts from lessons, and practice writing assessments at home under timed conditions.
11=#N has struggled to organize #h ideas and produce focused coherent work. It is necessary for #h to practice making outlines that include effective paragraphing such as topic and concluding sentences, integrated evidence, and a clear argument.
12=#E is encouraged to revisit the expectations of the Paper 1 unseen commentary as well as the Paper 2 essay as in order to achieve #h full potential on #h mock exams.
13=Unfortunately, #N has not completed several of the assigned learner portfolio posts throughout the year. The purpose of these posts is to provide students with the opportunity to solidify their understanding and demonstrate their engagement with the course. This incomplete course work has had a negative impact on #h final grade.

COMMENTS: Grade 11 C
1=For this reason, it is important that #e continues to work diligently to achieve #h best with #h September mock exams as they will have a significant influence on #h predicted grades.
2=For this reason, it is essential that #N approaches #h assigned summer work with a renewed degree of motivation in order to achieve greater with #h September mock exams, which will have a significant influence on #h predicted grades.

COMMENTS: Grade 11 Closer
1=#N has consistently shown maturity with #h studies and should continue to do so by taking the initiative to extend #s by referring to additional critical sources to further #h appreciation of course texts and concepts. Beyond this, #e is encouraged to take advantage of the review materials provided.
2=#N is congratulated for #h hard work this year, and is encouraged to continue to build on that positive momentum for Grade 12. #E is advised to take advantage of the review materials provided to help #m secure #h targeted predicted grade.
3=#N is congratulated for #h effort, and is encouraged to revisit content and assessments that challenged #m this year. #E is advised to take advantage of the review materials provided for both Paper One and Paper Two.
4=It should be noted that #N has only just secured this level of achievement. As such, it's very important for #h to continue to work hard and push #s to reach #h full potential in Grade 12. It is recommended that #N take advantage of the review materials provided to help #h secure #h targeted predicted grade.
5=#N is encouraged to work hard and refocus this summer and bring a positive attitude to the course in Grade 12 to better work towards #h potential. This includes taking advantage of the review materials provided.
6=It should be noted that #N has only just secured this level of achievement. As such, it's very important for #h to continue to work hard and push #s to reach #h full potential. #N is encouraged to refocus this summer and bring a positive attitude to the course in Grade 12 to better work towards achieving #h best. This includes taking advantage of the review materials provided.
7=#N is congratulated for #h hard work this year. With the same determination and positive attitude, #N is very capable of continued success in Grade 12.
8=With hard work and determination #e is capable of achieving #h full potential next year.

COMMENTS: Grade 11 Generic
1=Language and Literature students have worked on their ability to engage in detailed critical analysis of literary and non-literary texts. This includes developing their own unique interpretations of a variety of works while analyzing how authorial choices and textual features contribute to meaning. In doing so, students have developed an appreciation of how authors communicate unique perspectives towards global issues, and how these perspectives can reflect distinct ideologies or world views.
2=This year, #N has had the opportunity to practice and receive detailed feedback on core assessments such as guided textual analyses and critical essays. In addition to these foundational assessments, #e has developed #h understanding through more authentic writing opportunities as a part of #h learner portfolio.
3=The challenge of this course will continue to increase in Grade 12 as texts, concepts, and assessments increase in frequency and difficulty. Beyond this, #N's final grades will not be influenced by coursework, but solely on #h achievement with IB assessments. For this reason, it is important that #e work diligently to achieve #h best with #h September mock exams.

COMMENTS: Grade 11 Intro
1=Language and Literature students have continued to develop their ability to engage in critical detailed analysis of literary and non-literary texts. Students have developed an appreciation of varying perspectives from different contexts, and how these perspectives construct meaning. Beyond this, through the analysis of language and mass communication, students have also refined their media literacy skills by examining media texts ranging from music videos to political speeches.

COMMENTS: IO Closer
1=Overall, #N has demonstrated that #e is capable of producing a quality Individual Oral. #E is congratulated for #h diligent preparation. Moving forward, the challenge of this assessment will greatly increase under timed conditions. #N is encouraged to reflect on #h success and consider strategies to continually improve.
2=Overall, this is a good attempt at the Individual Oral. #N shows strong potential with this assessment and as a result of this practice should have a clear idea of where #e needs to focus #h attention in order to improve the quality of #h work. Moving forward, the challenge of this assessment will greatly increase under timed conditions. #N is encouraged to reflect on #h success and consider strategies in order to continually improve.
3=Overall, this was a fair attempt at the Individual Oral, but does not reflect #N's full potential. #N needs to be more attentive to the expectations of the rubric and challenge #s to engage more critically with #h selected extracts. The challenge of this assessment will greatly increase under timed conditions.
4=Overall, #N has demonstrated that #e needs additional support to produce a quality Individual Oral under timed conditions. #N needs to make a clear, criterion-specific action plan to ensure #e is set up to be successful on this task in the future.
5=Overall, this attempt does not show any concrete steps were taken based on previous feedback. This is very concerning as consistent improvement based on understanding and implementing feedback is crucial to success in the course.
6=Overall, it is somewhat concerning that #N was unable to produce a more sophisticated guided textual analysis considering the resources and time that was provided. Ultimately, the challenge of this assessment is much greater under timed conditions. #N must take much greater initiative with this assessment if #e is serious about achieving #h full potential in this course.
7=Overall, #N has demonstrated that #e needs to carefully review the expectations for this assessment and dedicate additional time and energy to produce a quality Individual Oral. #N needs to complete a detailed, criterion-specific action plan to ensure #e is set up to be successful on this task in the future. The challenge of this assessment will greatly increase under timed conditions.
8=Overall, #N's Individual Oral shows little attention to the expectations of this assessment. Much greater initiative is required.

COMMENTS: IO Comment A
1=#N maintained a continual awareness of the prompt throughout #h analysis and effectively connected the content of the passage with the presentation and implications of the global issue. It was evident that #e had studied both extracts closely.
2=#E had clearly carefully considered the significance of the global issue in relation to #h selected work and text. #H analysis was focused and effective.
3=#N selected effective extracts for this assessment and maintained a continual awareness of their significance in terms of the global issue; this was well executed. This score could be improved with more in-depth insights developed by a more focused argument.
4=It is evident that #N had carefully considered the content of the passages and how the significance of the global issue. At the same time, more direct references to specific lines would have better supported #h ideas.
5=#N consistently linked #h analysis of each passage with #h selected global issue. #H analysis effectively satisfied the prompt and the rubric. At the same time, a more comprehensive understanding of #h selected passages could have been achieved had #e integrated additional references to the extracts throughout #h analysis.
6=Throughout #h analysis, there were instances where #N seemed to lose focus of the prompt for the assessment in terms of analyzing how the authors present the global issue. To be sure, #h comments were informed and insightful, yet #h analysis tended to drift from making explicit assertions of how the authors were choosing to represent the issue in their respective texts.
7=#E effectively referred to evidence from the passages, but could try to make connections between evidence throughout the passage to show a more comprehensive understanding.
8=In order for #N to show a more sophisticated understanding of how the global issue is presented in both extracts, #h must establish the significance of the global issue more substantially in #h introduction. This way, #h will be able to make more intricate connections throughout #h analysis.
9=To be sure, #N's appreciation of how the global issue was presented in the selected passages was insightful; however, #h overlooked the necessity to make larger connections between the passages and the larger works from which they were taken.
10=Overall, #N needs to be much more attentive to the prompt for the assessment and expectations of the rubric. Throughout #h oral #e identified instances in which #h selected global issue was present in each text, but did not carefully analyze evidence to assert how the author or producer presented the global issue. Much of #N's understanding came from #h discussing the passage in general, as opposed to analyzing judiciously selected evidence.
11=It is necessary for #N to provide much greater focused analysis of the content of the passages #e selects. In this instance, #e referred only to the passages in general, and often #h assertions weren't grounded in the content of the passages selected but more so general insights about the entire work.
12=In order for #N to better demonstrate an understanding of the extracts and how they present #h selected global issue, it is necessary for #h to provide much more focused analysis of the extracts and speak less in generalities. Judiciously selecting and explicitly analyzing evidence to show how the author presents the global issue as at the core of this assessment.
13=#N is encouraged to provide additional focused and detailed analysis of the passage/extract that #e curates for this assessment. There is an expectation that #e shows significantly greater depth and breadth of understanding of the content of the passage, and more importantly, how the authors are presenting the global issue. Too often #N spoke in general about the work without sufficient specific references and analysis.
14=#N selected two passages that had the potential for #m to show a much better understanding of how they related to the global issue. Unfortunately, #e did not achieve sufficient depth or breadth of analysis.

COMMENTS: IO Comment A - new
1=Crit A: #N maintained a continual awareness of the prompt throughout #h analysis and effectively connected the content of the passage with the presentation and implications of the global issue. It was evident that #e had studied both extracts closely.
2=Crit A: #N has clearly carefully considered the significance of the global issue in relation to #h selected work and text. #H analysis was focused and effective.
3=Crit A: #N selected effective extracts for this assessment and maintained a continual awareness of their significance in terms of the global issue; this was well executed. This score could be improved with more in-depth insights developed by a more focused argument.
4=Crit A: It is evident that #N had carefully considered the content of the passages and how the significance of the global issue. At the same time, more direct references to specific lines would have better supported #h ideas.
5=Crit A: #N consistently linked #h analysis of each passage with #h selected global issue. #H analysis effectively satisfied the prompt and the rubric. At the same time, a more comprehensive understanding of #h selected passages could have been achieved had #e integrated additional references to the extracts throughout #h analysis.
6=Crit A: Throughout #h analysis, there were instances where #N seemed to lose focus of the prompt for the assessment in terms of analyzing how the authors present the global issue. To be sure, #h comments were informed and insightful, yet #h analysis tended to drift from making explicit assertions of how the authors were choosing to represent the issue in their respective texts.
7=Crit A: #N effectively referred to evidence from the passages, but could try to make connections between evidence throughout the passage to show a more comprehensive understanding.
8=Crit A: In order for #N to show a more sophisticated understanding of how the global issue is presented in both extracts, #h must establish the significance of the global issue more substantially in #h introduction. This way, #h will be able to make more intricate connections throughout #h analysis.
9=Crit A: To be sure, #N's appreciation of how the global issue was presented in the selected passages was insightful; however, #h overlooked the necessity to make larger connections between the passages and the larger works from which they were taken.
10=Crit A: In general, #N needs to be much more attentive to the prompt for the assessment and expectations of the rubric. Throughout #h oral #e identified instances in which #h selected global issue was present in each text, but did not carefully analyze evidence to assert how the author or producer presented the global issue. Much of #N's understanding came from #h discussing the passage in general, as opposed to analyzing judiciously selected evidence.
11=Crit A: It is necessary for #N to provide much greater focused analysis of the content of the passages #e selects. In this instance, #e referred only to the passages in general, and often #h assertions weren't grounded in the content of the passages selected but more so general insights about the entire work.
12=Crit A: In order for #N to better demonstrate an understanding of the extracts and how they present #h selected global issue, it is necessary for #h to provide much more focused analysis of the extracts and speak less in generalities. Judiciously selecting and explicitly analyzing evidence to show how the author presents the global issue as at the core of this assessment.
13=Crit A: #N is encouraged to provide additional focused and detailed analysis of the passage/extract that #e curates for this assessment. There is an expectation that #e shows significantly greater depth and breadth of understanding of the content of the passage, and more importantly, how the authors are presenting the global issue. Too often #N spoke in general about the work without sufficient specific references and analysis.
14=Crit A: #N selected two passages that had the potential for #m to show a much better understanding of how they related to the global issue. Unfortunately, #e did not achieve sufficient depth or breadth of analysis.

COMMENTS: IO Comment A - new 1 text
1=Crit A: #N maintained a continual awareness of the prompt throughout #h analysis and effectively connected the content of the passage with the presentation and implications of the global issue. It was evident that #e studied both the extract and text closely.
2=Crit A: #N has clearly carefully considered the significance of the global issue in relation to #h selected extract and text. #H analysis was focused and effective.
3=Crit A: #N effectively selected the extract for this assessment and maintained a continual awareness of its significance in terms of the global issue; this was well executed. This score could be improved with more in-depth insights developed by a more focused argument.
4=Crit A: It is evident that #N carefully considered the content of the extract and its significance to the global issue. At the same time, more direct references to specific lines would have better supported #h ideas.
5=Crit A: #N consistently linked #h analysis of each passage with #h selected global issue. #H analysis effectively satisfied the prompt and the rubric. At the same time, a more comprehensive understanding of #h selected extract could have been achieved had #e integrated additional references to the extracts throughout #h analysis.
6=Crit A: Throughout #h analysis, there were instances where #N seemed to lose focus of the prompt for the assessment in terms of analysing how the author presents the global issue. While #h comments were informed and insightful, #h analysis tended to drift from making explicit assertions about how the author choose to represent the issue.
7=Crit A: #N effectively referred to evidence from the extract, but could try to make connections between evidence throughout the analysis to show a more comprehensive understanding.
8=Crit A: In order for #N to show a more sophisticated understanding of how the global issue is presented in the extract and the work, #e must establish the significance of the global issue more substantially in #h introduction. This way, #h will be able to make more intricate connections throughout #h analysis.
9=Crit A: To be sure, #N's appreciation of how the global issue was presented in the selected extract was insightful; however, #h overlooked the necessity to make larger connections between the extract and the work from which it was taken.
10=Crit A: In general, #N needs to be much more attentive to the prompt for the assessment and expectations of the rubric. Throughout #h oral #e identified instances in which #h selected global issue was present in the extract and text, but did not carefully analyse evidence to assert how the author presented the global issue. Much of #N's understanding came from #h discussing the extract in general as opposed to analysing judiciously selected evidence.
11=Crit A: It is necessary for #N to provide much greater focused analysis of the content of the selected extract. In this instance, #e referred only to the extract in general, and often #h assertions weren't grounded in the content of the extract but more so general insights about the entire work.
12=Crit A: In order for #N to better demonstrate an understanding of the extract and text and how they present #h selected global issue, it is necessary for #h to provide much more focused analysis and speak less in generalities. Judiciously selecting and explicitly analysing evidence to show how the author presents the global issue is at the core of this assessment.
13=Crit A: #N is encouraged to provide additional focused and detailed analysis of the extract that #e selects for this assessment. There is an expectation that #e shows significantly greater depth and breadth of understanding of the content of the passage, and more importantly, how the author presents the global issue. Too often #N spoke in general about the work without sufficient specific references and analysis.
14=Crit A: #N selected an extract that had the potential for #m to show a good understanding of how they related to the global issue. Unfortunately, #e did not achieve sufficient depth or breadth of analysis.

COMMENTS: IO Comment B
1=The manner in which #N approached these texts and integrated analysis of specific devices using the correct terminology with an awareness of the presentation of the global issue was effective and insightful.
2=The manner in which #N approached these texts and integrated analysis of specific devices using the correct terminology with an awareness of the presentation of the global issue was effective and insightful. More awareness of the conventions of genre and text type could have produced a more sophisticated analysis of style.
3=#N's maintained a consistent awareness of authorial choices throughout #h analysis. However, more attention to how these specific devices present and shape the reader's perception of these global issues could improve the effectiveness of #h analysis.
4=#N approached both extracts with an awareness from an analytical perspective. However, not all of #h assertions of authorial choices were accurate.
5=#N identified the use of authorial choices in general but did not sufficiently analyze specific examples.

COMMENTS: IO Comment B - new 1 text
1=Crit B: The manner in which #N approached this extract and text and integrated analysis of specific devices using the correct terminology with an awareness of the presentation of the global issue was effective and insightful.
2=Crit B: The manner in which #N approached this extract and and text and integrated analysis of specific devices using the correct terminology with an awareness of the presentation of the global issue was effective and insightful. Sharper awareness of the conventions of genre and text type could have produced a more sophisticated analysis of style.
3=Crit B: #N maintained a consistent awareness of authorial choices throughout #h analysis. However, more attention to how these specific devices present and shape the reader's perception of these global issues could improve the effectiveness of #h analysis.
4=Crit B: #N approached both the extract and text with an awareness from an analytical perspective. However, not all of #h assertions of authorial choices were accurate.
5=Crit B: #N identified the use of authorial choices in general but did not sufficiently analyse specific examples.

COMMENTS: IO Comment C
1=#N's approach was methodical and entirely effective. #H introduction effectively framed the global issue, #e effectively signaled the development of #h ideas, and #h conclusion was insightful.
2=#N effectively developed #h ideas in a logical way as #e progressed through #h analysis of each passage. However, #e could have better established the significance of #h global issue in #h introduction; integrated this awareness when providing an overview of each text; signaled the development of #h ideas; and concluded with an awareness of larger implications.
3=Although the order of #N's ideas were logical they lacked much development. #E is encouraged to integrate transitional language in order to not only more through points of analysis, but establish the interconnected of these points in presenting the global issue.
4=#N's introduction lacked the foundational information required to sufficiently establish the significance of #h global issue and the work/text #e selected. Signal phrases and transitions were initially lacking but gradually became more effective in communicating the development of #h ideas.
5=At times #e used signal phrases effectively to develop #h ideas. However, in order for #N to produce a better developed analysis, #e needs to establish a clear assertion of the overall significance of each passage in conjunction with the global issue and include signal phrases that outline #h key points.
6=Throughout #h presentation #e needs to employ signal phrases and explicitly state #h points of analysis. #E must also provide direct references to pieces of evidence instead of speaking in generalities.
7=Overall, #h ideas developed in a logical way. Some adjustments to the structure of #h introduction and conclusion could improve #h overall coherence.
8=#N's analysis was focused and balanced; though at times #e seemed to address shifting aspects of the global issue without indicating #h connections. Including concluding statements for each text and some adjustments to #h introduction could have improved #h overall organization.
9=In order for #N's analysis to be better focused on the task, #h needs to be more attentive to how both the work and the text are presenting the global issue. Doing so, will result in a more purposeful and better developed analysis.
10=In order to better develop #h ideas in a cohesive manner #N needs to use signal phrases and transitional language to make connections between #h points of analysis.

COMMENTS: IO Comment C - new 1 text
1=Crit C: #N's approach and focus were methodical and entirely effective. #H introduction effectively framed the global issue, #e effectively signaled the development of #h ideas, and #h conclusion was insightful.
2=Crit C: #N effectively developed #h ideas in a logical way as #e progressed through #h analysis of the extract and text. However, #e could have better established the significance of #h global issue in #h introduction, integrated this awareness when providing an overview of each text, signaled the development of #h ideas, and concluded with an awareness of larger implications.
3=Crit C: Although the order of #N's ideas were logical, they lacked development. #E is encouraged to integrate transitional language in order to not only more through points of analysis, but establish the interconnected of these points in presenting the global issue.
4=Crit C: #N's introduction lacked the foundational information required to sufficiently establish the significance of #h global issue and the extract #e selected. Signal phrases and transitions were initially lacking but gradually became more effective in communicating the development of #h ideas.
5=Crit C: At times #N used signal phrases effectively to develop #h ideas. However, in order for #N to produce a better developed analysis, #e needs to establish a clear assertion of the overall significance of the extract and text in conjunction with the global issue and include signal phrases that outline #h key points.
6=Crit C: Throughout the presentation #N needs to employ signal phrases and explicitly state #h points of analysis. #E must also provide direct references to pieces of evidence instead of speaking in generalities.
7=Crit C: In general, #N's ideas developed in a logical way. Some adjustments to the structure of #h introduction and conclusion could improve #h overall coherence.
8=Crit C: #N's analysis was focused and balanced; though at times #e seemed to address shifting aspects of the global issue without indicating #h connections. Including concluding statements and some adjustments to #h introduction could have improved #h overall organisation.
9=Crit C: In order for #N's analysis to be better focused on the task, #h needs to be more attentive to how both the extract and the text are presenting the global issue. Doing so will result in a more purposeful and better developed analysis.
10=Crit C: In order to better develop #h ideas in a cohesive manner #N needs to use signal phrases and transitional language to make connections between #h points of analysis.

COMMENTS: IO Comment D
1=#N has demonstrated that #e is capable of producing a quality individual oral. #E is congratulated for #h diligent preparation. Moving forward, the challenge of this assessment will greatly increase under timed conditions. #N is encouraged to reflect on #h success and consider strategies to continually improve.
2=#N shows strong potential with this assessment and as a result of this practice should have a clear idea of where #e needs to focus #h attention in order to improve the quality of #h work. Moving forward, the challenge of this assessment will greatly increase under timed conditions. #N is encouraged to reflect on #h success and consider strategies in order to continually improve.
3=This was a fair attempt at the individual oral but does not reflect #N's full potential. #N needs to be more attentive to the expectations of the rubric and challenge #s to engage more critically with #h selected extracts in order to achieve #h best. The challenge of this assessment will greatly increase under timed conditions.
4=#N has demonstrated that #e needs to carefully review the expectations for this assessment and dedicate additional time and energy to produce a quality individual oral. #N needs to complete a detailed, criterion-specific action plan to ensure #e is set up to be successful on this task in the future. The challenge of this assessment will greatly increase under timed conditions.

COMMENTS: IO Comment D - new
1=Crit D: #N's language is often clear, accurate, and varied; occasional errors do not hinder communication. Vocabulary and syntax are varied and effective. Elements of style (for example, register, tone and rhetorical devices) are appropriate to the task and enhance the oral.
2=Crit D: #N's language is clear and accurate; occasional errors do not hinder communication. Vocabulary and syntax are appropriate and varied. Elements of style (for example, register, tone and rhetorical devices) are appropriate to the task and somewhat enhance the oral.
3=Crit D: #N's language is clear and mostly accurate; errors do not hinder communication. Vocabulary and syntax are appropriate to the task but simple and repetitive. Elements of style (for example, register, tone and rhetorical devices) are appropriate to the task and neither enhance nor detract from the oral.
4=Crit D: #N's language is generally clear, though errors sometimes hinder communication. Vocabulary and syntax are often imprecise with inaccuracies. Elements of style (for example, register, tone and rhetorical devices) are often inappropriate to the task and detract from the oral.
5=Crit D: #N's language is rarely clear or accurate; errors often hinder communication. Vocabulary and syntax are imprecise and frequently inaccurate. Elements of style (for example, register, tone and rhetorical devices) are inappropriate to the task and detract from the oral.

COMMENTS: IO Crit A
1=Crit A: There is excellent knowledge and understanding of the extracts and of the works/texts and a persuasive interpretation of their implications in relation to the global issue. References to the extracts and to the works/texts are well-chosen and effectively support the candidate's ideas.
2=Crit A: There is good knowledge and understanding of the extracts and the works/texts and a sustained interpretation of their implications in relation to the global issue. References to the extracts and to the works/texts are relevant and support the candidate's ideas.
3=Crit A: There is satisfactory knowledge and understanding of the extracts and the works/texts and an interpretation of their implications in relation to the global issue. References to the extracts and to the works/texts are generally relevant and mostly support the candidate's ideas.
4=Crit A: There is some knowledge and understanding of the extracts and the works/texts in relation to the global issue. References to the extracts and to the works/texts are at times appropriate.
5=Crit A: There is little knowledge and understanding of the extracts and the works/texts in relation to the global issue. References to the extracts and to the works/texts are infrequent or are rarely appropriate.

COMMENTS: IO Crit B
1=Analysis and evaluation of the extracts and their works/texts are relevant and insightful. There is a thorough and nuanced understanding of how authorial choices are used to present the global issue.
2=Analysis and evaluation of the extracts and their works/texts are relevant and at times insightful There is a good understanding of how authorial choices are used to present the global issue.
3=The oral is analytical in nature, and evaluation of the extracts and their works/texts is mostly relevant. Authorial choices are identified and reasonably understood in relation to the presentation of the global issue.
4=The oral contains some relevant analysis, but it is reliant on description. Authorial choices are identified, but are vaguely treated and/or only partially understood in relation to the presentation of the global issue.
5=The oral is descriptive or contains no relevant analysis. Authorial choices are seldom identified and, if so, are poorly understood in relation to the presentation of the global issue.

COMMENTS: IO Crit C
1=The oral maintains a clear and sustained focus on the task; treatment of the extracts and works/texts is well-balanced. The development of ideas is logical and convincing; ideas are connected in a cogent manner.
2=The oral maintains a mostly clear and sustained focus on the task; treatment of the extracts and works/texts is balanced. The development of ideas is logical; ideas are cohesively connected in an effective manner.
3=The oral maintains a focus on the task, despite some lapses; treatment of the extracts and works/texts is mostly balanced. The development of ideas is mostly logical; ideas are generally connected in a cohesive manner.
4=The oral only sometimes focuses on the task, and treatment of the extracts, and of the works/texts may be unbalanced. There are some connections between ideas, but these are not always coherent.
5=The oral rarely focuses on the task. There are few connections between ideas.

COMMENTS: IO Crit D
1=The language is clear, accurate and varied; occasional errors do not hinder communication. Vocabulary and syntax are varied and create effect. Elements of style (for example, register, tone and rhetorical devices) are appropriate to the task and enhance the oral.
2=The language is clear and accurate; occasional errors do not hinder communication. Vocabulary and syntax are appropriate and varied. Elements of style (for example, register, tone and rhetorical devices) are appropriate to the task and somewhat enhance the oral.
3=The language is clear; errors do not hinder communication. Vocabulary and syntax are appropriate to the task but simple and repetitive. Elements of style (for example, register, tone and rhetorical devices) are appropriate to the task and neither enhance nor detract from the oral.
4=The language is generally clear; errors sometimes hinder communication. Vocabulary and syntax are often imprecise with inaccuracies. Elements of style (for example, register, tone and rhetorical devices) are often inappropriate to the task and detract from the oral.
5=The language is rarely clear or accurate; errors often hinder communication. Vocabulary and syntax are imprecise and frequently inaccurate. Elements of style (for example, register, tone and rhetorical devices) are inappropriate to the task and detract from the oral.

COMMENTS: IO Opener
1=#N's attempt at the Modified Individual Oral shows great potential with this assessment.
2=This was a solid attempt at this challenging assessment; it was satisfying to see that #N's Modified Individual Oral showed some good skills.
3=#N's Modified Individual Oral had some strong areas but also some parts that need to be a bit sharper.
4=#N's Modified Individual Oral demonstrates some skills but also highlights the need for additional diligence and attention to the rubric leading up to the assessment.
5=#N's Modified Individual Oral indicates that #e needs to dedicate significant attention to reviewing expectations of this assessment.

COMMENTS: Late A
1=Tardiness among students has its own negative repercussions. Lateness is not just the problem of the late student but it affects the surrounding people. A student coming late in class distracts the rest of the students and disrupts the flow of the teacher's instruction. It is even a burden to the students whom the late students ask for what to catch up with.

COMMENTS: Late B
1=Punctuality can be a strong indication of success in the Diploma Programme and we both want to see #N achieve #h best. We have witnessed Grade 12 students not achieve their predicted grades as a result of inconsistent attendance first hand at Raha. Many teachers are now factoring in student punctuality when generating predicted grades for universities.

COMMENTS: Late C
1=Additionally, it is standard practice with many universities, and becoming increasingly more common for others, to request attendance records to be included with school transcripts. It would be very unfortunate for #N to be put at a disadvantage in the future as a result of #h poor punctuality.

COMMENTS: Late D
1=I hope that with our support #N can improve #h attendance following #h mock exams and achieve #h full potential in the Diploma Programme. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or concerns.
2=I hope that with our support #N can improve #h attendance following and achieve #h full potential in the Diploma Programme. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or concerns.

COMMENTS: Late Opener
1=As a Diploma Programme student it is expected that #N maintain consistent punctuality. As indicated on #N's upcoming report card, #N has been late to school on #numbers occasions this semester. I strongly recommend that #N make a habit of getting to advisory before 7:45 am. By missing morning advisory or being late to #h morning classes, #N is missing important information as well as course content.
2=As a Diploma Programme student it is expected that #N maintain consistent punctuality. In addition to the #numbers times #N was late during Semester One, #e has now been late an additional #nnumbers times thus far this year. I strongly recommend that #N make a habit of getting to advisory before 7:45 am. By missing morning advisory or being late to #h morning classes, #N is missing important information as well as course content.

COMMENTS: LP Engagement Comment Part 1
1=Grade 7 - #N demonstrates excellent understanding and appreciation of course concepts in response to the assigned learner portfolio activities. #H posts are convincing and detailed, as well as independent in analysis, synthesis, and evaluation. #N has completed all of the assigned posts from this unit; #h work reflects genuine engagement with course concepts.
2=Grade 6 - #N demonstrates very good understanding and appreciation of course concepts in response to the assigned learner portfolio activities. #H posts are mainly convincing and detailed, as well as mostly independent in terms of analysis, synthesis, and evaluation. #N completed all of the assigned posts from this unit; #h work reflects genuine engagement with course concepts. In some instances, #e could demonstrate additional critical engagement with topics or readings.
3=Grade 5 - #N demonstrates some understanding and appreciation of course concepts in response to the assigned learner portfolio prompts. #H responses are only sometimes valid in terms of analysis. #N should take care to complete all posts consistently over the course of the unit and with a consistent level of thinking and effort.
4=Grade 4 - #N demonstrates some understanding and appreciation of course concepts in response to the assigned learner portfolio prompts. #H responses are only sometimes valid in terms of analysis. Unfortunately, #N's learner portfolio is missing some assigned posts. Were all assigned work completed consistently, #h engagement score would better reflect #h understanding.
5=Grade 3 - #N demonstrates limited understanding and appreciation of course concepts in response to the assigned learner portfolio prompts. #H responses are limited in terms of analysis and often summarise rather than analyse texts. Unfortunately, #N's learner portfolio is missing some assigned posts, or the posts are completed with very limited effort and thinking. Were all assigned work completed consistently and with deeper thought, #h engagement score would be higher.
6=Grade 2 - #N demonstrates very limited understanding and appreciation of course concepts in response to the assigned learner portfolio prompts. #H responses are limited in terms of analysis and often summarise rather than analyse texts. Unfortunately, #N's learner portfolio is missing many assigned posts, or the posts are completed with very limited effort and thinking. Were all assigned work completed consistently and with deeper thought, #h engagement score would be higher.
7=Grade 1 - #N submitted zero to very few responses to the learner portfolio prompts. Thus, #N demonstrates limited understanding and appreciation of course concepts. #H responses, if any, are limited in terms of effort and analysis and often summarise rather than analyse texts. Were more assigned work completed consistently and with deeper thought, #h engagement score would be higher.

COMMENTS: LP Engagement Comment Part 2
1=#N employs effective structure with relevant textual detail to support critical engagement with the thoughts and feelings expressed in #h work. #E judiciously selects relevant details to include in #h analytical and creative tasks. #N demonstrates a highly developed level of expression with both creative and analytical writing with a very good degree of accuracy and clarity.
2=#N demonstrates basic structure within which the thoughts and the feelings of #h work are explored. More attention to structural conventions as well as coherence could ultimately improve the overall quality of #h work. #N demonstrates a good level of expression with both creative and analytical writing with an adequate degree of accuracy and clarity.
3=#N employs clear structure and relevant textual detail to support an engagement with the thoughts and the feelings expressed in #h work. This was exemplified through #h analytical work, as well as how effectively #e replicated the conventions of text types with #h creative tasks. #N demonstrates a good level of expression with both creative and analytical writing with an adequate degree of accuracy and clarity.
4=#N demonstrates basic structure within which the thoughts and the feelings of #h work are explored. More attention to detail in terms of organisation and structure would allow #m to provide work that is more reflective of #h understanding.
5=#N demonstrates some structure within which the thoughts and the feelings of #h work are explored, but sometimes #h ideas are hard to follow. More attention to detail in terms of organisation and structure would allow #m to provide work that is more reflective of #h understanding.
6=#N demonstrates limited structure within which the thoughts and the feelings of #h work are explored, and often #h ideas are hard to follow. More attention to detail in terms of organisation and structure would allow #m to provide work that is more reflective of #h understanding.
7=#N's posts, if present, demonstrate very limited structure within which the thoughts and the feelings of #h work are explored, and #h ideas are hard to follow. More attention to detail in terms of organisation and structure would allow #m to provide work that is more reflective of #h understanding.

COMMENTS: LP Engagement Comment Part 3
1=#N is commended for taking advantage of #h learner portfolio as an opportunity to develop #h communication skills. Overall, #N's learner portfolio demonstrates outstanding engagement with our first unit. Keep up the good work!
2=#N should use these blog posts as an opportunity to practice more complex sentences, as well as extend #h vocabulary. Overall, #N's learner portfolio demonstrates strong engagement with our first unit, and #e is encouraged to use feedback to improve #h posts.
3=#N should use these portfolio posts as an opportunity to practice more complex sentences, as well as extend #h vocabulary. Overall, #N's learner portfolio demonstrates good engagement with our first unit. #N is encouraged to challenge #s to put more effort into #h posts.
4=#N should use these portfolio posts as an opportunity to practice more complex sentences, as well as extend #h vocabulary. Overall, #N's learner portfolio demonstrates some engagement with our first unit. #N is encouraged to challenge #s to put more effort into #h posts.
5=#N should proofread #h portfolio posts or use a proofreading application to avoid grammar and spelling errors that impede communication. Overall, #N's learner portfolio demonstrates limited engagement with our first unit. #N is encouraged to challenge #s to put more effort into #h posts.
6=#N should proofread #h portfolio posts or use a proofreading application to avoid grammar and spelling errors that impede communication. Overall, #N's learner portfolio demonstrates very limited engagement with our first unit. #N is encouraged to challenge #s to complete #h posts in a timely manner and with more effort.
7=#N should proofread #h portfolio posts or use a proofreading application to avoid grammar and spelling errors that impede communication. Overall, #N's learner portfolio demonstrates little to no engagement with our first unit. There is still time to improve by completing posts from now on in a timely manner and with more effort, but #N must start now.

COMMENTS: MOD P2 Analysis and Evaluation
1=#N effectively integrated literary terminology throughout #h analysis; this was very well done. However, #e needs to better evaluate how these authorial choices contribute to meaning. This could be achieved by considering how specific authorial choices align with and contribute to the author's purpose, or shapes the reader's response to the work.
2=It is necessary for #N to include additional literary terminology in #h essay; particularly when #e is analyzing evidence from the novel. Although #e occasionally includes literary terminology, #e is not sufficiently analyzing or evaluating how authorial choices contribute to meaning. #E must consistently regard the text through a critical literary lens.
3=It is apparent that #N has a good understanding of the work, but must make the appropriate shift in how #e approaches #h analysis in order to improve this score. #N needs to consistently apply literary analysis and maintain an awareness of the author's unique authorial choices.
4=#E frequently addressed how a reader would respond to broad components of the work but could improve how #e analyzes specific literary and stylistic features with an awareness of how such authorial choices contribute to meaning and shape the reader's response to the work.
5=It is necessary for #m to approach this text from the perspective of literary analysis. There is minimal use of subject specific terminology or awareness of authorial choices.
6=The essay relies far too heavily on plot summary rather than analysis of specific literary features. While a reader might discern some understanding of characterization and setting, these need to be explicitly mentioned and analyzed in order to offer a stronger response.

COMMENTS: MOD P2 Crit A
1=There is perceptive knowledge and understanding of the work and a persuasive interpretation of its implications in relation to the question answered.
2=There is good knowledge and understanding of the work and a sustained interpretation of its implications in relation to the question answered.
3=There is satisfactory knowledge and understanding of the work and an interpretation of its implications in relation to the question answered.
4=There is some knowledge and understanding of the work in relation to the question answered.
5=There is little knowledge and understanding of the work in relation to the question answered.

COMMENTS: MOD P2 Crit B
1=The essay demonstrates a consistently insightful and convincing analysis of textual features and/or broader authorial choices. There is a very good evaluation of how such features and/or choices contribute to meaning.
2=The essay demonstrates an appropriate and at times insightful analysis of textual features and/or broader authorial choices. There is a good evaluation of how such features and/or choices shape meaning.
3=The essay demonstrates a generally appropriate analysis of textual features and/or broader authorial choices.
4=The essay demonstrates some appropriate analysis of textual features and/or broader authorial choices, but is reliant on description.
5=The essay is descriptive and/or demonstrates little relevant analysis of textual features and/or the broader authorial choices.

COMMENTS: MOD P2 Crit C
1=The essay maintains a clear and sustained focus on the task. The development of ideas is logical and convincing; ideas are connected in a cogent manner.
2=The essay maintains a mostly clear and sustained focus on the task. The development of ideas is logical; ideas are cohesively connected.
3=The essay maintains a focus on the task, despite some lapses. The development of ideas is mostly logical; ideas are generally connected in a cohesive manner.
4=The essay only sometimes focuses on the task. There are some connections between ideas, but these are not always coherent.
5=The essay rarely focuses on the task. There are few connections between ideas.

COMMENTS: MOD P2 Crit D
1=Language is very clear, effective, carefully chosen and precise, with a high degree of accuracy in grammar, vocabulary and sentence construction; register and style are effective and appropriate to the task.
2=Language is clear and carefully chosen, with a good degree of accuracy in grammar, vocabulary and sentence construction; register and style are consistently appropriate to the task.
3=Language is clear and carefully chosen with an adequate degree of accuracy in grammar, vocabulary and sentence construction despite some lapses; register and style are mostly appropriate to the task.
4=Language is sometimes clear and carefully chosen; grammar, vocabulary and sentence construction are fairly accurate, although errors and inconsistencies are apparent; the register and style are to some extent appropriate to the task.
5=Language is rarely clear and appropriate; there are many errors in grammar, vocabulary and sentence construction and little sense of register and style.

COMMENTS: MOD P2 Focus & Organization
1=#N's thesis was precise; #h topic effectively signalled the focus of each paragraph while developing #h argument and concluding sentences effectively consolidated #h analysis. This was a well crafted, cohesive and convincing essay.
2=The structure is clear, appropriate and develops an effective argument argument in a sustained and coherent manner. The thesis statement and topic sentences are highly effective and frame the analysis in a coherent and consistent manner. Excellent work.
3=#N could better develop #h argument if #e demonstrated greater awareness of the selected question in #h topic sentences. Each topic sentence should signal the focus of that paragraph to the reader, while also developing the argument #e has established in #h thesis statement.
4=#N could better develop #h argument if #e demonstrated greater awareness of the selected question in #h topic sentences. Each topic sentence should signal the focus of that paragraph to the reader, while also developing the argument #e has established in #h thesis statement. #E must also include a concluding sentence with each paragraph that consolidates #h analysis.
5=#N could have better develop #h argument had #h thesis been more precise. #E needs to better establish how #e is responding to the question #e has selected in conjunction with the work. The same applies to #h topic sentences. They need to signal the focus of the paragraph while also developing the argument of the essay.
6=#H topic sentences effectively developed #h argument, but #h paragraphs should not end without some type of consolidation of both texts in the style of a concluding statement.
7=The thesis statement of the essay is vague and does not offer much of an assertion to address the question. As a result there is minimal focus in the essay. This is furthered by a lack of clear topic sentences that effectively signal how each paragraph connects and addresses some aspect of the prompt, as well as further develops the reader's overall understanding of the thesis statement.
8=#N's thesis was precise; #h topic effectively signalled the focus of each paragraph while developing #h argument and concluding sentences effectively consolidated #h analysis. At the same time, #e dedicated too much focus to explaining the content of the work in detail, as opposed to offering an interpretation of the implications of the work in conjunction with question.
9=This is reflected in #N's paragraph structure where #e provides evidence from the novel, but with limited explanation to its relevance to #h thesis or argument.
10=#E would have been able to better develop #h argument had #h thesis better established the profundity #e achieves with #h conclusion.

COMMENTS: MOD P2 Knowledge and Understanding
1=#N was very thorough and insightful in #h exploration of the work, and covered all the major elements required for a high-quality, detailed interpretation of the work in relation to the question answered. Well done.
2=#N effectively combines evidence and analysis throughout #h response which demonstrated a perceptive knowledge and understanding of the work. However, in order to enter the next mark band, #e needs to provide a more persuasive interpretation of the work in relation to the question #e selected.
3=#N effectively combines evidence and analysis throughout #h response which demonstrated insightful knowledge and understanding of the work. However, in order to produce a more effective essay, #e needs to provide a more sustained and persuasive interpretation of the work in relation to the question #e selected.
4=#N effectively combines evidence and analysis throughout #h response. This combination is well balanced and effective. However, #e needs to find opportunities to include greater appreciation of the complexity of the work, such as the author's unique perspective, underlying ideologies, or the significance of context.
5=#N effectively combines evidence and analysis throughout #h response. This combination is well balanced and effective. However, #e needs to find opportunities to include greater appreciation of the complexity of the work, such as the author's unique perspective, underlying ideologies, or the significance of context, beyond just in #h introduction and conclusion.
6=#E includes well-selected references to the texts in order to substantiate #h analysis. However, #h response lacks an overarching appreciation of what the author is trying to communicate thematically.
7=#N was reasonably thorough and detailed in #h exploration of the work, and chose to explore ideas that contribute to a significant overall understanding. #E is encouraged to focus on illustrating an even greater breadth and depth of understanding in relation to #h interpretation of the significance of the work in relation to the question in order to develop a more persuasive argument.
8=#N was reasonably thorough and detailed in #h exploration of the work, and chose to explore ideas which contribute to a significant overall understanding of the work. #E is encouraged to focus on illustrating an even greater breadth and depth of understanding.
9=#N demonstrated reasonable general understanding of the work including character and narrative, but the essay would benefit from a more focused interpretation of the question in relation to the wider text.
10=#E provides general references to the work, but needs to include more specific evidence to substantiate #h interpretation. Relying on generalizations is indicative of weak knowledge and understanding.
11=#N would have better substantiated #h knowledge and understanding of the work had #e been more explicit and detailed with #h use of evidence. #E includes evidence throughout the essay but needs to provide more specific references to moments in the work.
12=#N clearly has a good understanding of the work and developed a clear interpretation in relation to the question. Unfortunately, #e included virtually no specific evidence from the work to substantiate #h understanding. This is key to a successful literary essay.
13=#N clearly has a solid understanding of the work. Unfortunately, #h struggled to develop this understanding into an interpretation in relation the question #e selected. Much more attention to satisfy the question is necessary to better satisfy the rubric
14=Unfortunately, #N showed only a superficial understanding of the work in relation to the question. A much more detailed and informed understanding is required to satisfy the rubric.
15=#N needs to demonstrate a more informed understand the author's underlying message, not just the basic plot and characters of the work. Ultimately, the discussion was superficial and unconvincing in relation to the question. #E needs to better link the chosen points more firmly to the question within a coherent and logical exploration of the topic.
16=#N needs to demonstrate a more informed understand the author's underlying message, not just the basic plot and characters of the work. Ultimately, the discussion was superficial and unconvincing in relation to the question. #E needs to better link the chosen points more firmly to the question within a coherent and logical exploration of the topic.

COMMENTS: MYP GLA A
1=You have produced a high quality and insightful analysis of the key themes of the text, and structured it within a suitable framework of critical terminology. Outstanding effort.
2=Most of your points are well supported, include relevant references to the source material, and are thoroughly analysed with an insightful discussion of the intended effect on the audience. Well done.
3=There is #IBP2 recognition of how key language and stylistic choices affect the reader.
4=You demonstrated #IBP2 awareness of the effect of the creator's choices on an audience.
5=You have shown #IBP2 awareness of techniques and their effect, but the analysis should be more comprehensive to achieve top marks.
6=There is #IBP2 understanding of genre conventions with #IBP2 awareness of how an audience would respond.
7=You have provided good general evidence to examine, and recognised techniques well, but your analysis is often vague and non-specific to the evidence chosen.
8=Analysis is a little repetitive and makes the same point several times. Going forward, ideas and evidence need to be better organized and made clear to the reader.
9=You have shown #IBP2 insight into the motivations and techniques employed by the creator, and have used #IBP2 examples to support, link and expand your points.
10=You show #IBP2 ability to recognise key techniques, but struggles to link them convincingly to the purpose and audience through detailed, insightful analysis.
11=Identification of specific techniques to achieve purpose is your weakest area- let's work on recognising the technique and its effect for next time.
12=Your commentary provided #IBP2 analysis of the audience, context, theme, and/or genre conventions; however, inconsistencies are apparent. A more significant breadth and depth of analysis is necessary to better satisfy the expectations of the assessment.
13=You justify opinions and ideas with #IBP2 examples and explanations. Although there is some use of technical terminology, this needs to be more consistent.
14=Your analysis shows a disconnect in understanding between the evidence (quotations etc.) chosen and the potential reasons for doing so. It is not apparent that you fully understands the author's creative thought process, though you do attempt to offer some reasoned comments.
15=There is little attempt at reasoned analysis in your GLA. You must try to move beyond simply describing the events of the plot and focus more on the techniques the author uses to construct meaning.
16=Analysis of imagery does not look at the root of the image to make detailed and insightful connections often enough. Avoid simply explaining a technique's purpose.
17=You tend to focus on providing background information and general opinion, rather than analysing the specific content of the text through insightful technical and critical analysis.

COMMENTS: MYP GLA A Next Steps
1=To improve: discuss more original insights and consider how your thesis statement can be more significant.
2=To improve: analyse language and structure more consistently in your explanations.
3=To improve: use more literary terminology to analyse language and structure more consistently in your explanations.
4=To improve: discuss more original insights and connect all points to your thesis.
5=To improve: clearly and consistently relate all your ideas in a deeper way than your topic sentences to the thesis in your concluding sentences for each section.
6=To improve: clearly relate all your ideas to the thesis in a non-repetitive way.
7=To improve: work on supporting all your claims with convincing logic, analysis, and reasoning.
8=To improve: work on making your thesis and explanations more significant.
9=To improve: work on deepening your analysis and including a more significant thesis statement.
10=To improve: work on deepening your analysis.
11=To improve: work on choosing more significant points or pieces of evidence to discuss.
12=To improve: discuss more consistently HOW the author’s choices help convey the message to the audience.
13=To improve: discuss more consistently HOW the author’s choices affect the audience.
14=To improve: manage your time to be better able to finish the essay and fully support your thesis.
15=To improve: consistently relate your explanations back to your main thesis and deepen your thinking about the themes.
16=To improve: clearly answer the guiding question and manage your time better.
17=To improve: clearly and specifically answer the guiding question and offer deeper insights in your explanations.
18=To improve: ensure your thesis meaningfully addresses the guiding question.
19=To improve: do not retell the story without adding analysis.
20=To improve: do not retell the story without adding analysis and clearly answering an essay prompt.

COMMENTS: MYP GLA B
1=Your GLA is very well structured using proper paragraphing.
2=You make #9B use of paragraphing in order to create a cohesive commentary. Analysis flowed logically and built on the previous point effectively.
3=You applied the analysis framework effectively which resulted in a #9B structure. Analysis within paragraphs was #degreeadverbs considered and logical in its order.
4=Your paragraphs were centered around one main idea using an appropriate PEAL structure and usually included clear topic and concluding sentences.
5=Your paragraphs were centered around one main idea using a PEAL structure, but were sometimes missing clear topic and concluding sentences.
6=Your GLA consistently follows a logical order.
7=Your GLA generally follows a logical order.
8=Your ideas somewhat build on each other from paragraph to paragraph without repetition.
9=You attempted to use paragraphs, but did not follow the PEAL structure or include clear topic and/or linking sentences.
10=You must use proper paragraphs to aid organization.

COMMENTS: MYP GLA B Next Steps
1=To improve: think about how to build on ideas in more sophisticated and original ways.
2=To improve: think about how you could vary your structure to enhance the reader's interest.
3=To improve: follow proper MLA format by introducing all quotations.
4=To improve: introduce all evidence by explaining the context or significance of the quotation.
5=To improve: add concluding sentences at the end of each body paragraph to summarise and connect your points to your introduction in a general way.
6=To improve: work on building ideas from paragraph to paragraph without any repetition.
7=To improve: use transitional language to aid your overall sentence flow.
8=To improve: re-read your work and ask yourself if the ideas flow logically from one sentence to another.
9=To improve: some ideas are repeated; work on building ideas from paragraph to paragraph.
10=To improve: clearly include a thesis statement in the introduction and consistently link back to it in your topic sentences.
11=To improve: include clear topic sentences and consistently link back to the thesis and essay prompt.
12=To improve: include sufficient paragraphs to introduce, maintain, and summarise your thesis.
13=To improve: ensure you have enough paragraphs for a convincing analysis.
14=To improve: use PEAL/PEEL more consistently.
15=To improve: ensure your introduction clearly outlines what you will discuss and use clear topic sentences and transitions to make your analysis flow.
16=To improve: include a topic sentence at the beginning of your body paragraphs to make your ideas clearer.
17=To improve: review the proper structure of an essay and a paragraph.
18=To improve: review the proper structure of an essay and include an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

COMMENTS: MYP GLA Criterion A Rubric
1=Crit A: Your GLA provides perceptive analysis of the content, context, language, structure, technique, style of text(s) and the relationship among texts. It perceptively analyses the effects of the creator's choices on an audience and gives detailed justification of opinions and ideas with a range of examples, and thorough explanations. It uses accurate terminology and perceptively compares and contrasts by making extensive connections in features across and within genres and texts.
2=Crit A: Your GLA competently analyses the content, context, language, structure, technique, style of text(s) and the relationship among texts. It competently analyses the effects of the creator's choices on an audience and sufficiently justifies opinions and ideas with examples and explanations. It uses accurate terminology and evaluates similarities and differences by making substantial connections in features across and within genres and texts.
3=Crit A: Your GLA provides adequate analysis of the content, context, language, structure, technique and style of text(s) and the relationship among texts. It provides adequate analysis of the effects of the creator's choices on an audience. It justifies opinions and ideas with some examples and explanations, though this may not be consistent and uses some terminology. It evaluates some similarities and differences by making adequate connections in features across and within genres and text
4=Crit A: Your GLA provides limited analysis of the content, context, language, structure, technique and style of text(s) and the relationship among texts. It provides limited analysis of the effects of the creator's choices on an audience and rarely justifies opinions and ideas with examples or explanations. It uses little or no terminology and evaluates few similarities and differences by making minimal connections in features across and within genres and texts.

COMMENTS: MYP GLA Criterion B Rubric
1=Crit B: Your GLA makes sophisticated use of organisational structures that serve the context and intention effectively. It effectively organises opinions and ideas in a sustained, coherent and logical manner with ideas building on each other in a sophisticated way.
2=Crit B: Your GLA makes competent use of organisational structures that serve the context and intention. It organises opinions and ideas in a coherent and logical manner with ideas building on each other.
3=Crit B: Your GLA makes adequate use of organisational structures that serve the context and intention. It organises opinions and ideas with some degree of coherence and logic.
4=Crit B: Your GLA makes minimal use of organisational structures and these do not always serve the context and intention. It organises opinions and ideas with a minimal degree of coherence and logic.

COMMENTS: MYP GLA Criterion D Rubric
1=Crit D: Your GLA effectively uses a range of appropriate vocabulary, sentence structures and forms of expression in a consistently appropriate register and style that serve the context and intention. It uses grammar, syntax, spelling and punctuation with a high degree of accuracy; errors are minor and communication is effective.
2=Crit D: Your GLA uses a competent range of vocabulary, sentence structures and forms of expression, sometimes in a register and style that serve the context and intention. It uses grammar, syntax, spelling and punctuation with some degree of accuracy; errors sometimes hinder communication.
3=Crit D: Your GLA uses an adequate range of appropriate vocabulary, sentence structures and forms of expression, sometimes in a register and style that serve the context and intention. It uses grammar, syntax, spelling and punctuation with some degree of accuracy; errors sometimes hinder communication.
4=Crit D: Your GLA uses a limited range of appropriate vocabulary and forms of expression in an inappropriate register and style that do not serve the context and intention. It uses grammar, syntax and punctuation with limited accuracy; errors often hinder communication iv. spells/writes and pronounces with limited accuracy; errors often hinder communication.

COMMENTS: MYP GLA D Next Steps
1=To improve: think about how you could use your language to add a higher level of sophistication to your writing.
2=To improve: work on writing in a clearer, more direct style, as your sentences are sometimes too wordy or your overall meaning is unclear.
3=To improve: work on writing more concisely and not using more words than necessary to express an idea.
4=To improve: try to use a wider range of sentence structures (such as varying the beginning of your sentences) and punctuation to make your writing style even more sophisticated.
5=To improve: use a wider range of extended vocabulary and follow all the rules of formal writing to make your writing style more impressive.
6=To improve: use a wider range of extended vocabulary and sentence structure to make your writing style more impressive.
7=To improve: use a wider range of literary and academic terminology and ensure your use is accurate.
8=To improve: use more precise and specific language (e.g. avoid "things" or "good").
9=To improve: use extended vocabulary to add a level of sophistication to your writing and write more formally.
10=To improve: read through your essay again to look out for errors that could be easily avoided.
11=To improve: improve your grammar and read through your essay again to identify errors that could be easily avoided.
12=To improve: read your work aloud to avoid careless errors.
13=To improve: proof-read your work carefully for spelling and grammatical errors.
14=To improve: proof-read your work carefully for spelling and grammatical errors (especially full stops).
15=To improve: proof-read your work carefully for spelling and grammatical errors (especially commas).
16=To improve: proof-read your work carefully for spelling and grammatical errors (especially capitalisation).
17=To improve: proof-read your work carefully for spelling and grammatical errors (especially full stops and capitalisation).
18=To improve: proof-read your work carefully for spelling and grammatical errors (especially commas, full stops, and capitalisation).
19=To improve: correct your grammar and write more.
20=To improve: read the task sheet to ensure you meet the criteria for the task.

COMMENTS: MYP GLA end
1=Overall, this was an excellent summative GLA. Focus now on delivering the same (or better) level of performance across all the disciplines of English you will study moving forward. Very well done, #N!
2=Overall, this was a very good summative GLA. Build on this performance moving forward. Well done, #N!
3=Overall, this was a good summative GLA. Review your feedback from this and previous summative work before your next assessment. Well done, #N!
4=Overall, your GLA showed promise, but you will need to demonstrate a greater understanding of techniques and genre conventions as you push towards Diploma Programme entry at the end of Grade 10. Keep up the effort, #N.
5=Overall, your GLA showed promise, but you will need to demonstrate a greater understanding of techniques and genre conventions. Keep up the effort, #N.
6=Overall, I feel you can improve further. I have yet to see your best work, #N.
7=Overall, you will need to show significantly improved effort, care and attention to detail if you wish to achieve the required standard for entry into DP after Grade 10. There is still time to improve, but that process must begin immediately, #N.
8=Overall, you will need to show significantly improved effort, care and attention to detail if you wish to achieve the required standard for the DP after Grade 10. There is still time to improve, but that process must begin immediately, #N.
9=Overall, you will need to show significantly improved effort, care and attention to detail if you wish to achieve the required standard for Grade 11. There is still time to improve, but that process must begin immediately, #N.
10=Overall, I have some concerns regarding the effort and quality of work shown thus far. You will need to work extremely hard to improve if you wish to access the Diploma Programme at the end of Grade 10. There is still time to make positive change, but the process must begin now, #N.
11=Overall, I have some concerns regarding the effort and quality of work shown thus far. You will need to work extremely hard to improve to be ready for Grade 11. There is still time to make positive change, but the process must begin now, #N.

COMMENTS: P1 GTA A Comment
1=#N did an excellent job judiciously selecting evidence to substantiate #h analysis. With that in mind, in order to achieve full marks for understanding #N must challenge #s to provide a more convincing analysis of larger implications and subtleties of the text.
2=#N's comments were focused and insightful; #e demonstrated a good appreciation of what was expected in terms of an insightful interpretation of larger implications in the text.
3=#N's comments were focused and insightful; #e demonstrated a good appreciation of what was expected in terms of an insightful interpretation of larger implications in the text. With that in mind, #N must include greater awareness of the significance of the text type and how this significance influences meaning.
4=#N effectively integrated well selected evidence from the text; however, the quality of #h analysis varied in consistency. Overall, #e illustrated a good analysis of the literal meaning of the text, but could have been more precise and profound when attempting to address larger implications.
5=In order to achieve full marks for understanding, some additional awareness of potential larger implications of the text, as well as more consistent use of integrated, judiciously chosen evidence is required.
6=In order to enter the next mark band, #N is encouraged to include more awareness of potential themes or larger implications in the text, as well as judiciously selected evidence and analysis. Doing so will support a more perceptive understanding.
7=#N provided some accurate insight regarding the literal meaning of the text, but also misinterpreted the author's overarching purpose and perspective on the issue. Many of #N's comments seemed speculative without sufficient evidence and analysis from the text to support #h claims.
8=#N provided some insight regarding the literal meaning of the text, but #h assertions were not consistently accurate.
9=#E avoids focusing on specific details from the text and instead makes some broad statements about it as a whole. #N's statements are mostly accurate, but they are more so general observations as opposed to discerning assertions made by carefully analyzed evidence.
10=Many of #N's comments seemed speculative without specific evidence from the text to support #h claims.
11=#N demonstrated an awareness of the significance of the literal meaning of the text. However, #N did not appreciate all the subtleties of the extract.
12=Overall, #N demonstrated a good understanding of the text. However, #e did not sufficiently integrate evidence to substantiate this understanding. Had #e done so, #e would have easily entered the next mark band.
13=#H comments and assertions are not well supported by consistent use of integrated, judiciously chosen evidence.
14=#N provides effective analysis of the text's intended audience and purpose, as well as the author's overarching theme; this was well done. However, in order to better satisfy the rubric, #e needs to challenge #s to uncover some larger societal or ideological implications.
15=#N provided insightful analysis. At the same time, some of #h observations were not entirely accurate or consistent with earlier points that #e had made.
16=#N has a good overarching understanding of the text, but requires additional awareness of how context influences meaning, as well as more consistent use of integrated, judiciously chosen evidence. More attention to theme would have also made for a more profound analysis.
17=While #N picked up on some of the thematic elements, #e misinterpreted the text type and, as a result, its primary purpose. Context was also overly generalized when included and could have been used to greater effect.
18=Judiciously selecting and analyzing more evidence could have achieved a more nuanced and sophisticated analysis. In some instances, #N relied too heavily on evidence to make a basic point, instead of analyzing evidence to demonstrate a perceptive understanding.
19=To improve this criterion, #N should #what-to-do.

COMMENTS: P1 GTA A Comment Kathy
1=Crit A: #N's comments were focused and insightful; #e demonstrated a thorough and perceptive appreciation of what was expected in terms of an insightful interpretation of larger implications in the text.
2=Crit A: #N did an excellent job judiciously selecting evidence to substantiate #h analysis. With that in mind, in order to achieve full marks for understanding #N must challenge #s to provide a more convincing analysis of larger implications and subtleties of the text.
3=Crit A: #N's comments were focused and insightful; #e demonstrated a good appreciation of what was expected in terms of an insightful interpretation of larger implications in the text. With that in mind, #N must include greater awareness of the significance of the text type and how this significance influences meaning.
4=Crit A: #N effectively integrated well selected evidence from the text; however, the quality of #h analysis varied in consistency. #E illustrated a good analysis of the literal meaning of the text, but could have been more precise and profound when attempting to address larger implications.
5=Crit A: #N provides effective analysis of the text's intended audience and purpose, as well as the author's overarching theme; this was well done. However, in order to better satisfy the rubric, #e needs to challenge #s to uncover some larger societal or ideological implications.
6=Crit A: In order to enter the next mark band, #N is encouraged to include more awareness of potential themes or larger implications in the text, as well as judiciously selected evidence and analysis. Doing so will support a more perceptive understanding.
7=Crit A: #N avoids focusing on specific details from the text and instead makes some broad statements about it as a whole. #H statements are mostly accurate, but they are more so general observations as opposed to discerning assertions made by carefully analyzed evidence.
8=Crit A: #N demonstrated a good understanding of the text. However, #e did not sufficiently integrate evidence to substantiate this understanding. Had #e done so, #e would have easily entered the next mark band.
9=Crit A: #N provided some accurate insight regarding the literal meaning of the text, but also misinterpreted the author's overarching purpose and perspective on the issue. Many of #N's comments seemed speculative without sufficient evidence and analysis from the text to support #h claims.
10=Crit A: #N provided insightful analysis. At the same time, some of #h observations were not entirely accurate or consistent with earlier points that #e had made.
11=Crit A: #N provided some insight regarding the literal meaning of the text, but #h assertions were not consistently accurate. Many of #N's comments seemed speculative without specific evidence from the text to support #h claims.
12=Crit A: #N's comments and assertions are not well supported by consistent use of integrated, judiciously chosen evidence.
13=Crit A: While #N picked up on some of the thematic elements, #e misinterpreted the text type and, as a result, its primary purpose. Context was also overly generalized when included and could have been used to greater effect.
14=Crit A: Judiciously selecting and analyzing more evidence could have helped #N achieved a more nuanced and sophisticated analysis. In some instances, #e relied too heavily on evidence to make a basic point, instead of analyzing evidence to demonstrate a perceptive understanding.
15=Crit A: To improve this criterion, #N should #what-to-do.

COMMENTS: P1 GTA B Comment
1=#N skilfully achieved this awareness by analyzing stylistic, figurative, and rhetorical devices used in the evidence #e selected to substantiate #h understanding of the text, as well as while focusing on the overarching elements of style.
2=This awareness and understanding was well achieved through judiciously selected examples and analysis.
3=#N's analysis maintained a continual awareness of how the author's stylistic choices shape meaning. At the same time, in order to enter the next mark band #e needed to provide a more thorough analysis of stylistic choices with greater precision in terms of how a reader would respond to specific devices.
4=While several elements of the text were identified and commented on, including a basic statement of effect, stylistic features could have been more clearly analysed using formal terminology with additional attention to how meaning is constructed.
5=However, #e should avoid listing examples, and instead try to provide some overarching comments about the author's style, supplemented with well selected examples when possible.
6=#N provided analysis of word choice, tone and structure, but needs to be confident to identify specific stylistic features using subject specific terminology.
7=#N needs to become far more comfortable identifying and analyzing stylistic features and their effects. These should be incorporated into as many body paragraphs as possible to show how these stylistic elements are directed toward specific audiences.
8=#N skillfully achieved this awareness by both analyzing figurative and rhetorical devices used in the evidence #e selected to substantiate #h understanding of the text.
9=This was very well done, but it is not necessary to provide dictionary-like definitions of stylistic features. Instead focus the device, how it exemplifies it's definition and evaluate how it shapes meaning in the text.
10=#N's analysis of language and style was consistent throughout #h response and included an awareness of how they contribute to meaning. At the same time, in order to enter the next mark band #h assertions need to be entirely accurate.
11=#N's analysis of specific devices and how a reader would respond was impressive, but #h analysis lacked an overarching awareness of the author's style.
12=#N demonstrates this awareness and understanding throughout #h analysis, and solidifies it when #h explicitly analyzes overarching elements of style.
13=#N identified a number of stylistic devices, but could have commented on the specific effect on an audience with more depth and precision.
14=However, #N did not provide overarching comments on the author's style in so much as #e provided a list of examples.
15=#N provided excellent analysis of how written and visual language worked in conjunction to create meaning.
16=Much of #N's analysis of stylistic features was used as evidence for #h understanding of the text. Although identifying elements of style in this way is effective, #N must also comment on overarching elements of style with an awareness of how such features shape meaning.
17=#N included virtually no subject specific terminology throughout #h response. #E needs to prioritize reviewing elements of style so that #e can confidently analyze them in #h analysis.
18=There was some awareness of the use of stylistic features, with a few references illustrating hoe they contribute to meaning. However, textual features and authorial choices needs to be more thoroughly analyzed
19=#N should avoid providing multiple examples of the same device at the expense of others.
20=#N should avoid providing multiple examples of the same device at the expense of others.

COMMENTS: P1 GTA B Comment Kathy
1=Crit B: #N skillfully achieved awareness of how the author's stylistic choices shape meaning by analyzing stylistic, figurative, and rhetorical devices used in the evidence #e selected to substantiate #h understanding of the text, as well as while focusing on the overarching elements of style. Well done!
2=Crit B: #N provided excellent analysis of how written and visual language worked in conjunction to create meaning. Well done!
3=Crit B: #N's analysis maintained a continual awareness of how the author's stylistic choices shape meaning. At the same time, in order to enter the next mark band #e needed to provide a more thorough analysis of stylistic choices with greater precision in terms of how a reader would respond to specific devices.
4=Crit B: #N's analysis of language and style was consistent throughout #h response and included an awareness of how they contribute to meaning. At the same time, in order to enter the next mark band #h assertions need to be more accurate.
5=Crit B: While several elements of the text were identified and commented on, including a basic statement of effect, stylistic features could have been more clearly analysed using formal terminology with additional attention to how meaning is constructed.
6=Crit B: #N provided analysis of word choice, tone and structure, but needs to be confident in identifying specific stylistic features using subject-specific terminology.
7=Crit B: #N needs to become far more comfortable identifying and analysing stylistic features and their effects. These should be incorporated into as many body paragraphs as possible to show how these stylistic elements are directed toward specific audiences.
8=Crit B: #N's analysis of specific devices and how a reader would respond was impressive, but #h analysis lacked an overarching awareness of the author's style.
9=Crit B: #N should avoid listing examples, and instead try to provide some overarching comments about the author's style, supplemented with well selected examples when possible.
10=Crit B: It is not necessary to provide dictionary-like definitions of stylistic features. Instead, #N should focus on how the device exemplifies its definition and evaluate how it shapes meaning in the text.
11=Crit B: #N identified a number of stylistic devices, but could have commented on the specific effect on an audience with more depth and precision.
12=Crit B: There was some awareness of the use of stylistic features, with a few references illustrating how they contribute to meaning. However, textual features and authorial choices need to be more thoroughly analysed.
13=Crit B: #N should avoid providing multiple examples of the same device at the expense of others.
14=Crit B: #N included virtually no analysis of stylistic devices and how they contribute to meaning. Textual features and authorial choices need to be more thoroughly analysed.
15=Crit B: #N included virtually no subject-specific terminology throughout #h response. #E needs to prioritize reviewing elements of style so that #e can confidently analyse them.

COMMENTS: P1 GTA C Comment
1=Topic sentences need to be used to more specifically signal the point that is being proven in the paragraph. Transitions are also needed to link elements of the analysis and demonstrate more intentional development than just listing points of analysis.
2=#N's analysis of evidence was cohesive, but at the same time, #e could better develop #h argument if #e included greater awareness of specific details of the text with #h topic sentences. Transitions are also needed to link elements of the analysis and demonstrate more intentional development than just listing points of analysis
3=#N could better develop #h argument if #e included greater awareness of specific details of the texts with #h topic sentences. Each topic sentence should signal the focus of that paragraph while also developing the argument #e has established in #h introduction.
4=#N could better develop #h argument if #e refined #h topic sentences to not only signal which aspect of the text will be examined, but to also concisely state what assertion from the text #e intends to prove.
5=#N could better develop #h argument if #e refined #h topic sentences to clearly state the focus of each paragraph in conjunction with the specific aspect #e will analyze.
6=#N's topic sentences clearly established the point to be analyzed in each paragraph, but could have shown more awareness of the relationship between different elements of the text. Paired with a more precise argument in #h introduction, this would have supported a better-developed and more coherent response.
7=#N established solid argument in #h introduction by identifying the unique qualities of this text. To further develop this argument #e also used effective topic sentences that both signalled the focus of each paragraph while simultaneously developing #h ideas. With that in mind, additional transitional language within #h body paragraphs could improve the overall coherence of #h analysis.
8=#N's response was organized in a sophisticated way as #h avoided a formulaic structure and instead prioritized the most significant aspects of the text. #E established a solid argument in #h introduction by identifying the unique qualities of the text. To further develop this argument #e also used effective topic sentences that both signalled the focus of each paragraph while simultaneously developing #h ideas.
9=#N's response was organized in a sophisticated way as #h avoided a formulaic structure and instead prioritized the most significant aspects of the text. This was well done. At the same time, #e could have better signalled the focus of #h paragraphs, and have developed more of an argument by establishing the unique features of this text in #h introduction.
10=#N established a solid argument in #h introduction by identifying the unique qualities of this text. To further develop this argument #e also used effective topic sentences that both signalled the focus of each paragraph while simultaneously developing #h ideas. With that in mind, #h argument could have been better developed had #e been somewhat less repetitive.
11=Moving forward, #N must focus on including some type of concluding statement that consolidates the analysis of each paragraph. This will improve the overall cohesion of the response and develop a more sophisticated argument.
12=#N established a solid argument in #h introduction by identifying the unique qualities of this text. To further develop this argument #e also used effective topic sentences that both signalled the focus of each paragraph while simultaneously developing #h ideas. Overall, a more profound argument would have contributed to a better-focused response.
13=#N effectively established the unique qualities of the text as the foundation of #h analysis. #E also effectively highlighted how aspects of the influenced meaning throughout #h commentary. At the same time, #h analysis was somewhat repetitive and resulted in an inconsistent focus.
14=#N established an excellent foundation for #h argument in #h introduction, which served as the backbone of #h response. #H conclusion effectively consolidated this analysis.
15=#N's introduction provided a basic foundation for #h response. With that in mind, #e could establish a more profound argument by further highlighting unique qualities of the text in conjunction with the guiding question.
16=#N established a solid argument in #h introduction by identifying the unique qualities of this text. To further develop this argument #e also used effective topic sentences that both signalled the focus of each paragraph while simultaneously developing #h ideas. Overall, the core of #h argument could have better driven the development of the response, as the connection between paragraphs could have been more cohesive.
17=With that in mind, the foundation of #h argument could have been more aligned with the focus of #h response.
18=The structure was mostly coherent and there was a good sense of development. #H introduction offered a clear foundation for #h argument, although this could have been carefully worded.
19=#H introduction offered a clear foundation for #h argument although this could have been carefully worded. #H topic sentences and transitions demonstrated a strong understanding of the relationship between various elements of the text.

COMMENTS: P1 GTA C Comment Kathy
1=Crit C: #N's response was organised in a sophisticated way as #e avoided a formulaic structure and instead prioritised the most significant aspects of the text. #E established a solid argument in #h introduction by identifying the unique qualities of the text. To further develop this argument #e also used effective topic sentences that both signalled the focus of each paragraph while simultaneously developing #h ideas. Well done!
2=Crit C: #N established an excellent foundation for #h argument in #h introduction, which served as the backbone of #h response. #H conclusion effectively consolidated this analysis. Well done!
3=Crit C: #N's introduction offered a clear foundation for #h argument, although this could have been carefully worded. #H topic sentences and transitions demonstrated a strong understanding of the relationship between various elements of the text.
4=Crit C: #N established a solid argument in #h introduction by identifying the unique qualities of this text. To further develop this argument, #e also used effective topic sentences that both signalled the focus of each paragraph while simultaneously developing #h ideas. With that in mind, additional transitional language within #h body paragraphs could improve the overall coherence of #h analysis.
5=Crit C: #N's introduction provided a basic foundation for #h response. With that in mind, #e could establish a more profound argument by further highlighting unique qualities of the text in conjunction with the guiding question.
6=Crit C: #N established a solid argument in #h introduction by identifying the unique qualities of this text. To further develop this argument #e also used effective topic sentences that both signalled the focus of each paragraph while simultaneously developing #h ideas. At the same time, #h analysis was somewhat repetitive and resulted in an inconsistent focus.
7=Crit C: #N's analysis of evidence was cohesive, but at the same time, #e could better develop #h argument if #e included greater awareness of specific details of the text with #h topic sentences. Transitions are also needed to link elements of the analysis and demonstrate more intentional development than just listing points of analysis.
8=Crit C: Moving forward, #N must focus on including some type of concluding statement that consolidates the analysis of each paragraph. This will improve the overall cohesion of the response and develop a more sophisticated argument.
9=Crit C: #N's topic sentences clearly established the point to be analysed in each paragraph, but could have shown more awareness of the relationship between different elements of the text. Paired with a more precise argument in #h introduction, this would have supported a better-developed and more coherent response.
10=Crit C: #N established a solid argument in #h introduction by identifying the unique qualities of this text. #E also used effective topic sentences that both signalled the focus of each paragraph while simultaneously developing #h ideas. A more profound argument would have contributed to a better-focused response.
11=Crit C: Topic sentences need to be used to more specifically signal the point that is being proven in the paragraph. Transitions are also needed to link elements of the analysis and demonstrate more intentional development than just listing points of analysis.
12=Crit C: #N could better develop #h argument if #e included greater awareness of specific details of the text with #h topic sentences. Each topic sentence should signal the focus of that paragraph while also developing the argument #e has established in #h introduction.
13=Crit C: #N could better develop #h argument if #e refined #h topic sentences to clearly state the focus of each paragraph in conjunction with the specific aspect of the text #e will analyse.
14=Crit C: Though there is some logical organisation of ideas, #N could better develop #h argument by including topic sentences that signal the focus of that paragraph while also developing the argument #e has established in #h introduction.
15=Crit C: Though there is some logical organisation of ideas, #N needs to better focus #h overall argument by answering the guiding question.
16=Crit C: There is little logical organisation of ideas; they seem randomly stated. #N needs to apply basic paragraph and GTA structure and focus #h response by answering the guiding question.

COMMENTS: P1 GTA Closer
1=Overall, this was a strong example of #N's potential with guided analysis under timed conditions. Well done!
2=Overall, this was a good attempt at analytical writing under timed conditions. #N should review #h work and make criterion specific strategies to improve #h product.
3=Overall, #N has demonstrated that #e is capable of producing a quality guided textual analysis under timed conditions. #E is congratulated for #h diligent preparation.
4=Overall, this is a good attempt at a guided textual analysis under timed conditions. #N shows strong potential with this assessment and as a result of this practice should have a clear idea of where #e needs to focus #h attention in order to improve the quality of #h work.
5=Overall, #N has demonstrated that #e needs additional support to produce a quality guided textual analysis under timed conditions. #N needs to make a clear, criterion-specific action plan to ensure #e is set up to be successful on this task in the future.
6=Overall, this attempt unfortunately does not show any concrete steps were taken based on previous feedback. This is very concerning as consistent improvement based on understanding and implementing feedback is crucial to success in the course.
7=Overall, it is somewhat concerning that #N was unable to produce a more sophisticated guided textual analysis considering the resources and time that was provided. Ultimately, the challenge of this assessment is much greater under timed conditions. #N must take much greater initiative with this assessment if #e is serious about achieving #h full potential in this course.
8=Overall, #N has demonstrated that #e is capable of producing a quality guided textual analysis. #E is congratulated for #h effort with this assignment. The challenge now is to produce a work of equal quality under timed conditions. This skill requires diligent attention by practicing at home in order for #h to achieve #h full potential.
9=Overall, this attempt at a guided textual analysis unfortunately shows little attention to the expectations of this assessment. Much greater initiative is required.
10=Overall, the challenge for #N will be to produce such a quality commentary under timed conditions.

COMMENTS: P1 GTA Crit A
1=Crit A: 5 - The response demonstrates a thorough and perceptive understanding of the literal meaning of the text. There is a convincing and insightful interpretation of larger implications and subtleties of the text. References to the text are well-chosen and effectively support the candidate's ideas.
2=Crit A: 4 - The response demonstrates a thorough understanding of the literal meaning of the text. There is a convincing interpretation of many implications of the text. References to the text are relevant and support the candidate's ideas.
3=Crit A: 3 - The response demonstrates an understanding of the literal meaning of the text. There is a satisfactory interpretation of some implications of the text. References to the text are generally relevant and mostly support the candidate's ideas.
4=Crit A: 2 - The response demonstrates some understanding of the literal meaning of the text. References to the text are at times appropriate.
5=Crit A: 1 - The response demonstrates little understanding of the literal meaning of the text. References to the text are infrequent or are rarely appropriate.

COMMENTS: P1 GTA Crit B
1=Crit B: 5 - The response demonstrates an insightful and convincing analysis of textual features and/or authorial choices. There is a very good evaluation of how such features and/or choices shape meaning.
2=Crit B: 4 - The response demonstrates an appropriate and at times insightful analysis of textual features and/or authorial choices. There is a good evaluation of how such features and/or choices shape meaning.
3=Crit B: 3 - The response demonstrates a generally appropriate analysis of textual features and/or authorial choices.
4=Crit B: 2 - The response demonstrates some appropriate analysis of textual features and/or authorial choices, but is reliant on description.
5=Crit B: 1 - The response is descriptive and/or demonstrates little relevant analysis of textual features and/or authorial choices.

COMMENTS: P1 GTA Crit C
1=Crit C: 5 - The presentation of ideas is effectively organised and coherent. The analysis is well focused.
2=Crit C: 4 - The presentation of ideas is well organised and mostly coherent. The analysis is adequately focused.
3=Crit C: 3 - The presentation of ideas is adequately organised in a generally coherent manner. There is some focus in the analysis.
4=Crit C: 2 - Some organisation is apparent in the presentation of ideas. There is little focus in the analysis.
5=Crit C: 1 - Little organisation is apparent in the presentation of ideas. No discernible focus is apparent in the analysis.

COMMENTS: P1 GTA Crit D
1=Crit D: 5 - Language is very clear, effective, carefully chosen and precise, with a high degree of accuracy in grammar, vocabulary and sentence construction; register and style are effective and appropriate to the task.
2=Crit D: 4 - Language is clear and carefully chosen, with a good degree of accuracy in grammar, vocabulary and sentence construction; register and style are consistently appropriate to the task.
3=Crit D: 3 - Language is clear and carefully chosen with an adequate degree of accuracy in grammar, vocabulary and sentence construction despite some lapses; register and style are mostly appropriate to the task.
4=Crit D: 2 - Language is sometimes clear and carefully chosen; grammar, vocabulary and sentence construction are fairly accurate, although errors and inconsistencies are apparent; the register and style are to some extent appropriate to the task.
5=Crit D: 1 - Language is rarely clear and appropriate; there are many errors in grammar, vocabulary and sentence construction and little sense of register and style.

COMMENTS: P1 GTA D Comment Kathy
1=Crit D: This response was a pleasure to read.
2=Crit D: #N's writing demonstrated strong sophistication of analytical language and maturity of style. Well done!
3=Crit D: #N articulated #h understanding effectively with minimal errors. At the same time, a greater degree of sophistication and use of analytical language is achievable. #N should use the writing resources provided in class in a deliberate way to refine #h writing over time.
4=Crit D: #N articulated #h understanding effectively with minimal errors. At the same time, a greater degree of sophistication and use of analytical language is achievable. In many cases, #h application of an extended vocabulary obfuscated what #e was trying to communicate. To improve, #e should focus on writing clearly and concisely.
5=Crit D: This is an improvement for #N under timed conditions, though greater degree of analytical language and sophistication of style is achievable through using the writing resources provided in class in a deliberate way to refine #h writing over time.
6=Crit D: Greater degree of analytical language and sophistication of style is achievable. #N should use the writing resources provided in class in a deliberate way to refine #h writing over time.
7=Crit D: #N should try to leave enough time to read over #h essay for accuracy and clarity prior to submitting.
8=Crit D: #N's language is sometimes clear, but often includes grammatical errors that hinder communication. #E should proofread #h work carefully before submitting.
9=Crit D: This is an improvement for #N under timed conditions, though greater degree of accuracy and use of analytical language is achievable through using the writing resources provided in class in a deliberate way to refine #h writing over time.
10=Crit D: #N should write more in order to achieve a higher grade in this criterion. As well, #e should proofread #h work carefully before submitting to avoid careless errors.
11=Crit D: #N's response includes many grammatical errors that hinder communication. #E should seek extra support in writing and expression if #e hopes to improve in this criterion.
12=Crit D: #N's language is sometimes clear, but #h tone is often informal and #h writing requires a lot more use of subject-specific terminology.
13=Crit D: #N's language is sometimes clear, but #h tone is often informal (e.g. using “you” to address the reader) and #h writing requires a lot more use of subject-specific terminology.

COMMENTS: P1 GTA Improvement from last Paper 1
1=Great improvement from the last Paper 1!
2=Some improvement from the last Paper 1.
3=Keep working to improve your analysis, organisation, and writing.
4=There was little improvement from the last Paper 1. Use teacher feedback to improve your analysis, organisation, and writing.

COMMENTS: P1 GTA Opener
1=#N's guided textual analysis was excellent.
2=This response was very enjoyable to read.
3=It was satisfying to see that #N's guided textual analysis showed some good skills.
4=It is good to see what #N is capable of in terms of a guided textual analysis; and here is an example.
5=#N's success with #h guided textual analysis is reflective of #h commitment and continuous progress with this challenging assessment.
6=#N's first guided textual analysis shows great potential with this assessment.
7=#N's guided textual analysis demonstrates adequate progress with this challenging assessment, but does not reflect #h full potential.
8=#N's guided textual analysis had some strong areas, but also some parts that need to be a bit sharper.
9=#N's first guided textual analysis shows great potential with this assessment.
10=#N's guided textual analysis demonstrates some skills, but also highlights the need for additional diligence and practice leading up to the assessment.
11=#N's guided textual analysis has some strengths, but a lot of areas to develop.
12=#N's guided textual analysis indicates that #e needs to dedicate significant attention to reviewing expectations of this assessment.

COMMENTS: P2 Crit A 
1=#N's knowledge of the novel and the way context affects meaning is thoroughly demonstrated and the understanding shown is very good.
2=#N's knowledge of the novel and the way context affects meaning is substantially demonstrated and the understanding shown is good.
3=#N's knowledge of the novel and the way context affects meaning is adequately demonstrated with a general understanding.
4=#N demonstrates some knowledge of the novel, but the understanding is limited.
5=#N demonstrates little knowledge of the novel.
6=#N's knowledge of the novel and the way context affects meaning is persuasively illustrated and the understanding shown is perceptive.
7=#N's knowledge of the novel and the way context affects meaning is pertinently illustrated and the understanding shown is good.
8=#N's knowledge of the novel and the way context affects meaning is adequately illustrated and the understanding shown is satisfactory.
9=#N's knowledge of the novel and the way context affects meaning is sometimes illustrated, but the understanding shown is superficial.

COMMENTS: P2 Crit A 1 text
1=Crit A: There is perceptive knowledge and understanding of the works and a persuasive interpretation of their implications in relation to the question answered.
2=Crit A: There is very good knowledge and understanding of the works and a persuasive interpretation of their implications in relation to the question answered.
3=Crit A: There is good knowledge and understanding of the works and a sustained interpretation of their implications in relation to the question answered.
4=Crit A: There is good knowledge and understanding of the works and a somewhat sustained interpretation of their implications in relation to the question answered.
5=Crit A: There is satisfactory knowledge and understanding of the works and an interpretation of their implications in relation to the question answered.
6=Crit A: There is satisfactory knowledge and understanding of the works and, occasionally, an interpretation of their implications in relation to the question answered.
7=Crit A: There is limited knowledge and understanding of the works in relation to the question answered.
8=Crit A: There is limited knowledge and understanding of the works, with some relation to the question answered.
9=Crit A: There is little knowledge and understanding of the works in relation to the question answered.
10=Crit A: There is very little knowledge and understanding of the works in relation to the question answered.
11=Crit B: The work does not reach a standard described by the descriptors for this criterion.

COMMENTS: P2 Crit A 2 Texts
1=#N's knowledge of the novels and the way context affects meaning is thoroughly demonstrated and the understanding shown is very good.
2=#N's knowledge of the novels and the way context affects meaning is substantially demonstrated and the understanding shown is good.
3=#N's knowledge of the novels and the way context affects meaning is adequately demonstrated with a general understanding.
4=#N demonstrates some knowledge of the novels, but the understanding is limited.
5=#N demonstrates little knowledge of the novels.
6=#N's knowledge of the novels and the way context affects meaning is persuasively illustrated and the understanding shown is perceptive.
7=#N's knowledge of the novels and the way context affects meaning is pertinently illustrated and the understanding shown is good.
8=#N's knowledge of the novels and the way context affects meaning is adequately illustrated and the understanding shown is satisfactory.
9=#N's knowledge of the novels and the way context affects meaning is sometimes illustrated, but the understanding shown is superficial.

COMMENTS: P2 Crit A Comment
1=#N achieves an excellent balance of analysis and evaluation in conjunction with very well selected evidence from the text.
2=#N effectively combines evidence and analysis throughout #h response. This combination is well balanced and effective. However, #e needs to find opportunities to demonstrate more awareness of the wider implications within #h analysis beyond just #h introduction and conclusion.
3=#N effectively combines evidence and analysis throughout #h response. This combination is well balanced and demonstrated a good understanding of the novel. At the same time, #e needs to be more explicit in terms of how context influences meaning within the novel. The awareness is present, but just needs to be directly stated more frequently throughout #h analysis.
4=#E chooses effective references from the text and avoids oversimplifying contexts.
5=#E selects effective evidence from the text and provides insightful analysis.
6=#E includes well-selected evidence from the text to substantiate #h main ideas. However, #h analysis of this evidence was not consistently accurate and often could have been more sophisticated.
7=#E chooses good examples from the text, but occasionally oversimplifies #h analysis of context.
8=#N would have better substantiated #h knowledge and understanding of the novel had #e been more explicit and detailed with #h use of evidence. #E includes evidence throughout #h analysis but needs to provide more specific references to moments in the text.
9=This degree of knowledge and understanding could improve if #N were more explicit in #h references to moments in the text.
10=There is an obvious awareness the significance of context, but the way in which context affects meaning is not explicitly explored to the fullest capacity possible.
11=#N clearly has a good understanding of how meaning in the novel is influenced by context. Unfortunately, #e included virtually no specific evidence to substantiate #h analysis. This is key to a successful literary essay.
12=#E includes well-selected references to the novel in order to substantiate #h analysis, and shows an awareness of context. However, #h response lacks an overarching appreciation of theme and what Achebe is trying to communicate within #h unique contexts.
13=#E provides general references to the novel, but needs to include more specific evidence to substantiate #h analysis. Relying on generalizations is indicative of weak knowledge and understanding of the novel.
14=Were this assessment simply an evaluation of knowledge of the novel, without an appreciation of the relationship between context and meaning, #N's response would have been very effective. Moving forward, #e must find opportunities to demonstrate how context influences meaning, even if #h selected prompt does not direct #h to do so.
15=Were this assessment simply an evaluation of knowledge of the novel, without an appreciation of the relationship between context and meaning, #N's response could have been more effective.
16=Moving forward, #e must find opportunities to demonstrate how context influences meaning, even if #h selected prompt does not direct #h to do so.
17=#E shows a strong appreciation for the significance of context, but #h focus could shift to demonstrate an overall greater awareness of how context affects meaning.
18=Unfortunately, #e did not demonstrate much awareness of how context affects meaning within #h analysis.
19=Demonstrating knowledge of the context of production and reception is key, even if the question you select does not prompt you to focus on it.

COMMENTS: P2 Crit A Comment 2 Texts
1=#N achieves an excellent balance of including contextual information in conjunction with very well selected evidence from the texts.
2=#N effectively combines evidence and analysis throughout #h response. This combination is well balanced and effective. However, #e needs to find opportunities to include more awareness of how context influences meaning within #h analysis beyond just #h introduction and conclusion.
3=#N effectively combines evidence and analysis throughout #h response. This combination is well balanced and demonstrated a good understanding of the novels. At the same time, #e needs to be more explicit in terms of how context influences meaning within the novel. The awareness is present, but just needs to be directly stated more frequently throughout #h analysis.
4=#E includes well-selected references to the texts in order to substantiate #h analysis, and shows an awareness of context. However, #h response lacks an overarching appreciation of theme and what both authors are trying to communicate within their unique contexts.
5=#E provides general references to the novels, but needs to include more specific evidence to substantiate #h analysis. Relying on generalizations is indicative of weak knowledge and understanding of the novels.
6=#N would have better substantiated #h knowledge and understanding of the novels had #e been more explicit and detailed with #h use of evidence. #E includes evidence throughout #h analysis but needs to provide more specific references to moments in the text.
7=Were this assessment simply an evaluation of knowledge of the novels, without an appreciation of the relationship between context and meaning, #N's response would have been very effective. Moving forward, #e must find opportunities to demonstrate how context influences meaning, even if #h selected prompt does not direct #h to do so.
8=#E selects effective evidence from the texts and provides insightful analysis.
9=#E chooses good examples from the texts, but occasionally oversimplifies #h analysis of context.
10=A clearer appreciation of the context of both texts would have improved the relationship between context and meaning.
11=This degree of knowledge and understanding could improve if #N was more explicit in #h references to moments in the texts.
12=#N clearly has a good understanding of both texts and how they are influenced by context. Unfortunately, #e included virtually no specific evidence from the texts to substantiate #h analysis. This is key to a successful literary essay.
13=Greater analysis of the content of the novels in relation to context is necessary and achievable.
14=This understanding is limited due to #h vague depiction of context and general references to the texts.
15=#E shows a strong appreciation for the significance of context, but #h focus could shift to demonstrate an overall greater awareness of how context affects meaning.
16=Unfortunately, #e did not demonstrate much awareness of how context affects meaning within #h analysis.
17=With that in mind, the influence of context could have been more consistent throughout #h essay.
18=Demonstrating knowledge of the context of production and reception is key, even if the question you select does not prompt you to focus on it.
19=Demonstrating knowledge of the context of production and reception is key, even if the question you select does not prompt you to focus on it.

COMMENTS: P2 Crit A To Improve
1=#N achieves an excellent balance of analysis and evaluation in conjunction with very well selected evidence from the text. Well done!
2=#N achieves a balance of analysis and evaluation in conjunction with very well selected evidence from the text. #E should refer to teacher feedback on the paper for ways to refine #h work.
3=#N effectively combines evidence and analysis throughout #h response. This combination is well balanced and effective. However, #e needs to find opportunities to demonstrate more awareness of the connection between #h points and the main question within #h analysis beyond just #h introduction and conclusion.
4=#N effectively combines evidence and analysis throughout #h response. This combination is well balanced and demonstrates a good understanding of the novel. At the same time, #e needs to be more explicit in terms of how #h points relate to the main question. The awareness is present, but just needs to be directly stated more frequently throughout #h analysis.
5=#N chooses good examples from the text, but occasionally oversimplifies #h analysis. #E should critically question #h own claims and ask whether they are always true in order to refine them.
6=#N includes well-selected evidence from the text to substantiate #h main ideas. However, #h analysis of this evidence was not consistently accurate and often could have been more sophisticated.
7=#N would have better substantiated #h knowledge and understanding of the novel had #e been more explicit and detailed with #h use of evidence. #E includes evidence throughout #h analysis but needs to provide more specific references to moments in the text.
8=#N clearly has a good understanding of how meaning in the novel is influenced by context. Unfortunately, #e included virtually no specific evidence to substantiate #h analysis. This is key to a successful literary essay.
9=#N includes well-selected references to the novel in order to substantiate #h analysis. However, #h response lacks an overarching appreciation of theme and what the author is trying to communicate with respect to the guiding question.
10=#N provides general references to the novel, but needs to include more specific evidence to substantiate #h analysis. Relying on generalisations is indicative of weak knowledge and understanding of the novel.
11=Were this assessment simply an evaluation of knowledge of the novel, without a focus on a literary element through answering a guiding prompt, #N's response would have been very effective. Moving forward, #e must consistently find opportunities to relate back to the selected prompt.
12=#N shows a strong appreciation for the significance of context, but #h focus could shift to demonstrate an overall greater appreciation of the topic of the selected prompt.
13=Unfortunately, #N did not demonstrate much understanding of the topic of the selected prompt within #h analysis. More review of central literary topics and of the text is needed.

COMMENTS: P2 Crit B
1=There is excellent understanding of the expectations and many of the subtleties of the question; the response is relevant, focused and insightful.
2=There is very good understanding and awareness of the expectations of the question, with a consistently relevant response.
3=There is good understanding and awareness of the main expectations of the question, with a mostly relevant response.
4=There is adequate awareness of the main expectations of the question, with a generally relevant response.
5=There is some awareness of the main expectations of the question; the response is mainly unsubstantiated generalization.
6=There is little awareness of the main expectations of the question.
7=There is very little awareness of the main expectations of the question.
8=This results in good focus and development of #h argument.
9=The content of N's analysis is seldom linked to #h thesis and as a result #h focus drifts from the question.
10=#N does not directly respond to the question in #h thesis statement and as a result does effectively address the question.
11=#N's response does not appreciate the subtleties of the question.
12=Greater appreciation of the selected command term is necessary in order to fully satisfy this criterion.

COMMENTS: P2 Crit B 1 Text
1=Crit B: The essay demonstrates an insightful and convincing analysis of textual features and/or writers’ broader choices. There is a very good evaluation of how such features and/or choices contribute to meaning.
2=Crit B: The essay demonstrates an insightful and an often convincing analysis of textual features and/or writers’ broader choices. There is a good evaluation of how such features and/or choices contribute to meaning.
3=Crit B: The essay demonstrates an appropriate and at times insightful analysis of textual features and/or writers’ broader choices. There is a good evaluation of how such features and/or choices shape meaning.
4=Crit B: The essay demonstrates an appropriate and somewhat insightful analysis of textual features and/or writers’ broader choices. There is occasionally an evaluation of how such features and/or choices shape meaning.
5=Crit B: The essay demonstrates a generally appropriate analysis of textual features and/or writers’ broader choices, with occasional insights.
6=Crit B: The essay demonstrates an adequate analysis of textual features and/or writers’ broader choices, with some insights.
7=Crit B: The essay contains some appropriate analysis of textual features and/or writers’ broader choices, but is reliant on description.
8=Crit B: The essay contains occasionally appropriate analysis of textual features and/or writers’ broader choices, but is reliant on description.
9=Crit B: The essay is descriptive and/or demonstrates little relevant analysis of textual features and/or writers’ broader choices.
10=Crit B: The essay is descriptive and/or demonstrates very little relevant analysis of textual features and/or writers’ broader choices.
11=Crit B: The work does not reach a standard described by the descriptors for this criterion.

COMMENTS: P2 Crit B Comment
1=The content of N's analysis is seldom linked to #h thesis and as a result #h focus drifts from the question.
2=#N does not directly respond to the question in #h thesis statement and as a result does effectively address the question.
3=#N's response does not appreciate the subtleties of the question.
4=Greater appreciation of the selected command term is necessary in order to fully satisfy this criterion.
5=This results in good focus and development of #h argument.

COMMENTS: P2 Crit B Comment Two Texts
1=The content of #N's analysis is seldom linked to #h thesis and as a result #h focus drifts from the question.
2=#N needs to link the evidence to the question selected with an awareness of the context in which the novels were written.
3=#N does not directly respond to the question in #h thesis statement and as a result does effectively address the question.
4=#N is encouraged to try and better explicitly link #h analysis of evidence to the prompt. #H awareness of the questions #e is answering needs to be addressed throughout #h entire paragraph, not just #h topic and concluding sentences.
5=#N did not carefully deconstruct and attentively focus #h response on satisfying the prompt. #E wrote an essay that loosely addressed some of the general ideas.
6=#N's response does not appreciate the subtleties of the question.
7=This results in good focus and development of #h argument.
8=This results in good focus and development of #h argument.

COMMENTS: P2 Crit B To Improve
1=#N effectively applied literary terminology and was well aware of effect. #E consistently analysed authorial choices in an insightful way. Well done!
2=#N effectively applied literary terminology and was aware of effect. At times, this could have been more insightful. See teacher annotations on the paper for specific ways to improve.
3=#N effectively integrated literary terminology throughout #h analysis; this was very well done. In some instances #N could shift #h focus from the author's intent to a reader's response to improve this score.
4=#N effectively integrated literary terminology throughout #h analysis; this was very well done. However, #e does not sufficiently comment on how a reader would respond to these specific devices.
5=#N included some literary terminology, but made no attempt to comment on how a reader would respond. This limits #h score in this criterion.
6=It is necessary for #N to include additional literary terminology in #h essay; particularly when #e is analysing evidence from the novel. Although #e occasionally uses literary terminology, it is not sufficient to entirely satisfy this criterion. #E must consistently regard the text through a critical literary lens.
7=#N needs to consistently regard #h analysis through a literary lens. Including relevant literary terminology is essential for this essay, and the effect of these features needs to be explicitly commented on with an awareness of the reader.
8=It is necessary for #N to approach this text from the perspective of literary analysis. There is little use of subject-specific terminology or awareness of the impact on a reader.
9=Approaching the text from more of an analytical literary perspective could help elevate this score.
10=It is important that #N consistently applies a literary perspective to #h analysis. #E frequently addressed how a reader would react to the broad components of the text, but could improve how #e analyses specific literary and stylistic features with an awareness of the effect on an audience.
11=By demonstrating greater awareness of literary elements in #h analysis, #N would demonstrate an overall more comprehensive appreciation of the author's use of stylistic features. With that in mind, #N's description of the effect on the reader requires additional attention.
12=It is apparent that #N has a good understanding of the text, but must make the appropriate shift in how #e approaches #h analysis in order to improve this score. #N needs to consistently apply literary analysis and comment on the effect on the reader.
13=#N shows an awareness of effect, but does not delve deeply enough into the topic of the guiding prompt by addressing multiple significant literary features like theme, characterisation, and mood.
14=#N's essay relies far too heavily on plot summary rather than specific literary features. While a reader might discern some understanding of characterisation, setting, and symbols, these need to be explicitly mentioned and analysed in order to offer a stronger response.

COMMENTS: P2 Crit C
1=There is excellent awareness and illustration of the use of stylistic features, with very good understanding of their effects.
2=There is very good awareness and illustration of stylistic features, with good understanding of their effects.
3=There is good awareness and illustration of stylistic features, with adequate understanding of their effects.
4=There is adequate awareness and illustration of stylistic features, with some understanding of their effects.
5=There is some awareness and illustration of stylistic features.
6=There is little awareness or illustration of the use of stylistic features.
7=There is very little awareness or illustration of the use of stylistic features.

COMMENTS: P2 Crit C 1 Text
1=Crit C: The essay maintains a clear and sustained focus on the task. The development of ideas is logical and convincing; ideas are connected in a cogent manner.
2=Crit C: The essay maintains a mostly clear and sustained focus on the task. The development of ideas is consistent and logical; ideas are coherently connected.
3=Crit C: The essay maintains a focus on the task, despite some lapses. The development of ideas is mostly logical; ideas are generally connected in a coherent manner.
4=Crit C: The essay only sometimes focuses on the task. There are some connections between ideas, but these are not always coherent.
5=Crit C: The essay rarely focuses on the task. There are few connections between ideas.
6=Crit C: The work does not reach a standard described by the descriptors for this criterion.

COMMENTS: P2 Crit C Comment
1=Some additional literary terminology would have benefited this awareness.
2=#N effectively integrated literary terminology throughout #h analysis; this was very well done. However, #e does not sufficiently comment on how a reader would respond to these specific devices.
3=#N included some literary terminology, but made no attempt to comment on how a reader would respond. This limits #h score in this criterion.
4=It is necessary for #N to include additional literary terminology in #h essay; particularly when #e is analyzing evidence from the novel. Although #e occasionally uses literary terminology, it is not sufficient to entirely satisfy this criterion. #E must consistently regard the text through a critical literary lens.
5=#N needs to consistently regard #h analysis through a literary lens. Including literary terminology is essential for this essay.
6=The effect of these features needs to be explicitly commented on with an awareness of the reader.
7=It is necessary for #m to approach this text from the perspective of literary analysis. There is no use of subject specific terminology or awareness of the impact on a reader.
8=Approaching the text from more of an analytical literary perspective could help elevate this score.
9=In some instances #N could shift #h focus from the author's intent to a reader's response to improve this score.
10=#N effectively applied literary terminology and was aware of effect. Overall, this could have been more consistent and insightful.
11=With that in mind, by including some additional awareness of literary elements in #h analysis #e would demonstrate an overall more comprehension appreciation use of stylistic features.
12=With that in mind, #N's description of the effect on the reader requires additional attention.
13=It is apparent that #N has a good understanding of the text, but must make the appropriate shift in how #e approaches #h analysis in order to improve this score. #N needs to consistently apply literary analysis and comment on the effect on the reader.
14=It is apparent that #N has a good understanding of the text, but must make the appropriate shift in how #e approaches #h analysis in order to improve this score. #N needs to consistently apply literary analysis and comment on the effect on the reader.
15=#N shows an awareness of effect, but does not address literary features other than characterization.
16=It is important that #e consistently applies a literary perspective to #h analysis. #E frequently addressed how a reader would react to the broad components of the text, but could improve how #e analyzes specific literary and stylistic features with an awareness of the effect on an audience.
17=The essay relies far too heavily on plot summary rather than specific literary features. While a reader might discern some understanding of characterization and setting, these need to be explicitly mentioned and analyzed in order to offer a stronger response.

COMMENTS: P2 Crit C Comment Two Texts
1=Some additional literary terminology would have benefited this awareness.
2=#N effectively integrated literary terminology throughout #h analysis; this was very well done. However, #e does not sufficiently comment on how a reader would respond to these specific devices.
3=#N included some literary terminology, but made no attempt to comment on how a reader would respond. This limits #h score in this criterion.
4=It is necessary for #N to include additional literary terminology in #h essay; particularly when #e is analyzing evidence from the novels. Although #e occasionally uses literary terminology, it is not sufficient to entirely satisfy this criterion. #E must consistently regard these texts through a critical literary lens.
5=#N needs to consistently regard #h analysis through a literary lens. Including literary terminology is essential for this essay.
6=The effect of these features needs to be explicitly commented on with an awareness of the reader.
7=It is necessary for #m to approach this text from the perspective of literary analysis. There is no use of subject specific terminology or awareness of the impact on a reader.
8=Approaching the text from more of an analytical literary perspective could help elevate this score.
9=In some instances #N could shift #h focus from the author's intent to a reader's response to improve this score.
10=With that in mind, by including some additional awareness of literary elements in #h analysis #e would demonstrate an overall more comprehension appreciation use of stylistic features.
11=With that in mind, #N's description of the effect on the reader requires additional attention.
12=No attempt to describe the effect on the reader is made.
13=It is apparent that #N has a good understanding of the texts, and can make the appropriate shift in how #e approaches #h analysis in order to improve this score. #N needs to apply literary analysis and comment on the effect on the reader.
14=#N shows an awareness of effect, but does not address literary features other than characterization.
15=It is important that #e consistently applies a literary perspective to #h analysis. #E frequently addressed how a reader would react to the broad components of the text, but could improve how #e analyzes specific literary and stylistic features with an awareness of the effect on an audience.

COMMENTS: P2 Crit C To Improve
1=Well done!
2=To improve, #N is encouraged to try and better explicitly link #h analysis of evidence to the guiding prompt. #H awareness of the question #e is addressing needs to be addressed throughout #h entire paragraph, not just #h topic and concluding sentences.
3=To improve, #N needs to link the evidence to the question selected with an awareness of the guiding prompt.
4=While #N's response is focused on addressing the guiding prompt, #h thesis and overall analysis does not appreciate the subtleties of the topic. To improve, #e should work on linking back to significant literary features such as theme, characterisation, or mood and answering the question "so what?".
5=#N does not directly respond to the question in #h thesis statement and as a result does effectively address the guiding prompt. To improve, #e should ensure #h thesis statement clearly addresses the guiding prompt and takes a position.
6=The content of #N's analysis is seldom linked to #h thesis and as a result #h focus drifts from the guiding prompt. To improve, #e should ensure that at least the concluding sentences of #h body paragraphs link back to the thesis and guiding prompt.
7=#N did not carefully deconstruct and attentively focus #h response on addressing the prompt. #E wrote an essay that loosely addressed some of the general ideas. To improve, #e should ensure #h points are specific to the chosen guiding prompt.

COMMENTS: P2 Crit D
1=#N's essay has very good focus, structure and development.
2=#N's essay has good focus, structure and development.
3=#N's essay has adequate focus, structure and development.
4=#N's essay has some focus, structure and development.
5=#N's essay has precise focus and excellent structure; the work is coherently sequenced and thoroughly developed.
6=#N's essay has good focus and structure, with a logical sequence and development.
7=#N's essay has adequate focus, structure, sequencing of ideas and development.
8=#N's essay has some focus, structure, sequencing of ideas and development.

COMMENTS: P2 Crit D 1 Text
1=Crit D: Language is very clear, effective, carefully chosen and precise, with a high degree of accuracy in grammar, vocabulary and sentence construction; register and style are effective and appropriate to the task.
2=Crit D: Language is clear and carefully chosen, with a good degree of accuracy in grammar, vocabulary and sentence construction; register and style are consistently appropriate to the task.
3=Crit D: Language is clear and carefully chosen with an adequate degree of accuracy in grammar, vocabulary and sentence construction despite some lapses; register and style are mostly appropriate to the task.
4=Crit D: Language is sometimes clear and carefully chosen; grammar, vocabulary and sentence construction are fairly accurate, although errors and inconsistencies are apparent; the register and style are to some extent appropriate to the task.
5=Crit D: Language is rarely clear and appropriate; there are many errors in grammar, vocabulary and sentence construction and little sense of register and style.
6=Crit D: The work does not reach a standard described by the descriptors for this criterion.

COMMENTS: P2 Crit D Comment
1=This is reflected in #N's paragraph structure where #e provides evidence from the novel, but with limited explanation to its relevance to #h thesis or argument.
2=This score could be improved if #N's thesis established more of an argument.
3=#H topic sentences effectively developed #h argument, but #h paragraphs should not end without some type of consolidation of both texts in the style of a concluding statement.
4=#N chooses effective evidence to develop #h thesis and structure an argument.
5=#N's thesis statement needs to be more precise in how it responds to the prompt in conjunction with detail from the novel.
6=Topic sentences were used effectively to signal the focus of each paragraph, but #h thesis statement did not establish much of an argument.
7=#N could better develop #h argument if #e demonstrated greater awareness of the prompt #e is responding to in #h topic sentences. Each topic sentence should signal the focus of that paragraph to the reader, while also developing the argument #e has established in #h thesis statement.
8=#N could better develop #h argument if #e demonstrated greater awareness of the prompt #e is responding to in #h topic sentences. Each topic sentence should signal the focus of that paragraph to the reader, while also developing the argument #e has established in #h thesis statement. #E must also include a concluding sentence with each paragraph that consolidates #h analysis.
9=#N's thesis was precise; #h topic effectively signalled the focus of each paragraph while developing #h argument and concluding sentences effectively consolidated #h analysis.
10=#N could have better develop #h argument had #h thesis been more precise. #E needs to better establish how #e is responding to the question #e has selected in conjunction with the novel. The same applies to #h topic sentences. They need to signal the focus of the paragraph while also developing the argument of the essay.
11=Topic sentences that were more explicitly linked to #h thesis statement and by extension the selected question would have helped developed a stronger argument.
12=The thesis statement of the essay is vague and does not offer much of an assertion to address the prompt. As a result there is no much focus in the essay. This is furthered by a lack of clear topic sentences that effectively signal how each paragraph connects and addresses some aspect of the prompt, as well as further develops the reader's overall understanding of the thesis statement.
13=#E would have been able to better develop #h argument had #h thesis better established the profundity #e achieves with #h conclusion.
14=It is important that #N analyzes all the evidence that #e includes in #h response.
15=It is important that #N include topic sentences that apply to both texts and clearly signal #h focus with each body paragraph.
16=What has limited this level of achievement is the sequencing of ideas. This essay could have been structured in a more coherent way
17=#N's thesis was precise; #h topic effectively signalled the focus of each paragraph while developing #h argument and concluding sentences effectively consolidated #h analysis. At the same time, #e dedicated too much focus to explaining the content of the novel in detail, as opposed to analyzing Achebe's intent and purpose.

COMMENTS: P2 Crit D To Improve
1=This response was a pleasure to read.
2=#N's writing demonstrated strong sophistication of analytical language and maturity of style. Well done!
3=This is an improvement for #N under timed conditions, though greater degree of analytical language and sophistication of style is achievable through using the writing resources provided in class in a deliberate way to refine #h writing over time.
4=Greater degree of analytical language and sophistication of style is achievable. #N should use the writing resources provided in class in a deliberate way to refine #h writing over time.
5=#N articulated #h understanding effectively with minimal errors. At the same time, a greater degree of sophistication and use of analytical language is achievable. #N should use the writing resources provided in class in a deliberate way to refine #h writing over time.
6=#N articulated #h understanding effectively with minimal errors. At the same time, a greater degree of sophistication and use of analytical language is achievable. In many cases, #h application of an extended vocabulary obfuscated what #e was trying to communicate. To improve, #e should focus on writing clearly and concisely.
7=#N should try to leave enough time to read over #h essay for accuracy and clarity prior to submitting.

COMMENTS: P2 Crit E
1=#H writing demonstrated strong sophistication of analytical language and maturity of style.
2=Greater degree of analytical language and sophistication of style is achievable.
3=Try to leave enough time to read over your essay for accuracy and clarity prior to submitting.
4=This is an improvement for #N under timed conditions, though greater degree of analytical language and sophistication of style is achievable.
5=This response was a pleasure to read.

COMMENTS: P2 Crit E Comment
1=#H writing demonstrated strong sophistication of analytical language and maturity of style.
2=Greater degree of analytical language and sophistication of style is achievable.
3=#E articulated #h understanding effectively with minimal errors. At the same time, a greater degree of sophistication and use of analytical language is achievable.
4=#E articulated #h understanding effectively with minimal errors. At the same time, a greater degree of sophistication and use of analytical language is achievable. In some cases #h application of an extended vocabulary obfuscated what #e was trying to communicate.
5=Try to leave enough time to read over your essay for accuracy and clarity prior to submitting.
6=This is an improvement for #N under timed conditions, though greater degree of analytical language and sophistication of style is achievable.
7=This response was a pleasure to read.

COMMENTS: P2 Final Remark
1=Overall, this was a strong example of #N's potential with timed essay writing. Well done!
2=Overall, this is a good attempt at timed essay writing. #N shows strong potential with this assessment and as a result of this practice should have a clear idea of where #e needs to focus #h attention in order to improve the quality of #h work.
3=Overall, #N was quite successful with this assessment; #e showed a good understanding of the expectations of the rubric. In order to improve #e is encouraged to work with breaking down guiding questions and structuring convincing arguments. This skill will continue to develop as #e progresses through the course and explores more literary works.
4=Overall, this was a good attempt at Paper 2 essay writing under timed conditions. #N should review #h work and develop criterion-specific strategies to improve #h product.
5=Overall, #N has demonstrated that #e needs to carefully review the expectations for this assessment and dedicate additional time and energy to producing a quality Paper 2 essay.
6=Overall, #N should complete a detailed, criterion-specific action plan to ensure #e is set up to be successful on this task in the future.
7=Overall, #N has demonstrated that #e needs additional support to produce a quality essay that satisfies the Paper 2 rubric under timed conditions. #N needs to make a clear, criterion-specific action plan to ensure #e is set up to be successful on this task in the future.
8=Overall, this attempt at Paper 2 essay writing indicates that #N must increase #h initiative with this assessment.
9=Overall, this attempt unfortunately does not show any concrete steps were taken based on previous feedback. This is very concerning, as consistent improvement based on understanding and implementing feedback is crucial to success in the course.
10=Overall, this attempt does not show any concrete steps were taken based on previous feedback. #N must take much greater initiative with this assessment if #e is serious about achieving #h full potential in this course.
11=Overall, it is concerning that at this point in the course that #N was unable to produce a more sophisticated essay considering the resources and time that have been provided. #N must take much greater initiative with this assessment if #e is serious about achieving #h full potential in this course.

COMMENTS: P2 Opener
1=#N's essay was an excellent piece of work.
2=It is good to see what #N is capable of in terms of timed essay writing; and here is an example.
3=It was satisfying to see that #N's essay showed some good skills.
4=#N's essay had some strong areas, but also some parts that need to be a bit sharper.
5=#N's Paper 2 essay has some strengths, but a lot of areas to develop.
6=#N's essay demonstrates adequate progress with this challenging assessment but does not reflect #h full potential.
7=#N's essay demonstrates some skills but also highlights the need for additional diligence and practice leading up to the assessment.
8=#N's Paper 2 essay indicates the #e needs to dedicate significant time and energy to reviewing the expectations of this assessment.
9=#N's Paper 2 essay indicates the #e needs to dedicate significant time and energy to both reviewing the expectations of this assessment as well as the work studied.
10=#N's Paper 2 essay indicates the #e needs to dedicate significant time and energy to both reviewing the expectations of this assessment as well as the literary qualities of the work studied.
11=#N's Paper 2 essay indicates the #e needs to dedicate significant time and energy to review both novels and practice this assessment under timed conditions at home in order to produce a more sophisticated analysis.

COMMENTS: P2 RTQ
1=#N achieves this through #h excellent thesis that is effectively developed throughout #h structured response.
2=#N effectively responded to the main idea of the question, but overlooked the subtleties of what was being asked.
3=At times #h response seems to lose sight of the question. This could be improved through the use of clear topic sentences that link to #h thesis.
4=It is also important to include some awareness of context and how it affects meaning in your response, even if the question does not prompt you to focus on it.
5=However, #e does not analyze this evidence in conjunction with the question #e has selected. Instead #e makes passing reference to these ideas that need to be explored in depth.
6=The focus of the essay read like it was responding to a different question.
7=The questions may have been a springboard for analysis, but #N must be much more direct in how #e responds to the select prompt and include specific language from it throughout #h analysis.

COMMENTS: P2KU
1=#E chooses effective references from the text and avoids oversimplifying contexts.
2=#E selects effective evidence from the text and provides insightful analysis.
3=The relationship between context and meaning could be more explicit in #h response.
4=A clearer appreciation of the context of both texts would have improved the relationship between context and meaning.
5=This degree of knowledge and understanding could improve if #N was slightly more explicit in #h references to moments in the text.
6=This understanding is limited due to #h vague depiction of context and general references to the text.
7=#E chooses good examples from the text, but occasionally oversimplifies #h analysis of context.
8=Greater analysis of the content of the novel in relation to context is necessary and achievable.
9=Were this assessment simply an evaluation of knowledge of the novel without an appreciation of the relationship between context and meaning #N's response could have been more effective.
10=There is an obvious awareness the significance of context, but the way in which context affects meaning is not explicitly explored to the fullest capacity possible.
11=#E shows a strong appreciation for the significance of context, but #h focus could shift to demonstrate an overall greater awareness of how context affects meaning.
12=Unfortunately, #e did not demonstrate much awareness of how context affects meaning within #h analysis.
13=Demonstrating knowledge of the context of production and reception is key, even if the question you select does not prompt you to focus on it.
14=This depth of knowledge produced an excellent essay.
15=However, too often Amirah provided general references to aspects of the texts without specific evidence.

COMMENTS: Paper 2
1=#N's knowledge of the novels and the way in which context affects their meaning is #P2A1 and the understanding shown is #P2A2.
2=#E achieves #P2B1SL understanding and awareness of the expectations of the questions, with a #P2B2SL response.
3=#E achieves #P2B1HL of the question; the response is #P2B2HL.
4=There is #P2C1 awareness and illustration of stylistic features with #P2C2 understanding of their effects.
5=#H response has #P2D1HL. The essay #P2D2HL.
6=#H response has #P2D focus, structure, and development.
7=Language is very clear, effective, carefully chosen and precise, with a high degree of accuracy in grammar, vocabulary and sentence construction; register and style are effective and appropriate to the task
8=Language is clear and carefully chosen, with a good degree of accuracy in grammar, vocabulary and sentence construction; register and style are consistently appropriate to the task.
9=Language is clear and carefully chosen with an adequate degree of accuracy in grammar, vocabulary and sentence construction despite some lapses; register and style are mostly appropriate to the task.

COMMENTS: Paper 2 A
1=#N's knowledge of the novels and the way in which context affects their meaning is #P2A1 and the understanding shown is #P2A2.

COMMENTS: Sample intro sentences
1=#N is an outstanding student who has worked very hard throughout the #Time-period and I expect #m to do well in #h exams next year.
2=#N has had a mixed #Time-period but there are signs of improvement in #h behaviour of late.
3=After a difficult start #N has done some excellent work and is now back on target. A very pleasing #Time-period. Well done #N!
4=#N is a friendly and hard-working member of the class and has put in a steady performance throughout the #Time-period.
5=Overall #N has worked very well but there are a few issues with #h time-keeping and homework that #e needs to address.
6=We have been working on the Environmental Issues module throughout the #Time-period. #N seems to enjoy this topic and has made very pleasing progress.

COMMENTS: Sample project-work sentences
1=#E has worked hard this year on all of #h projects but I was especially impressed with the high-quality of #h #Science-topics assignment.
2=Project-work has been done to a minimum standard and is often handed in late. To improve #e needs to #How-to-improve.
3=Although #h #Science-topics project-work was satisfactory, I do expect #m to do more background research next time.
4=#H project-work is always excellent as demonstrated in #h #Science-topics assignment. We were all very impressed with #h creative and entertaining website designs which were an inspiration to the class.
5=#H project-work has varied considerably, however #h highly-imaginative #Science-topics project was excellent and was displayed in reception at the School Open Day. An excellent achievement #N.

COMMENTS: Sample summing-up sentences
1=#N always tries #h best and has achieved a well-deserved Level #? overall. An excellent performance, keep it up!
2=#N has reached Level #?. This was #h target and #e should be proud of #s. To ensure #e keeps this up next year #e should #How-to-improve.
3=#N has achieved a Level #? overall. #E often works below #h best and with a little more effort #e could easily reach Level #?. To improve #e should #How-to-improve.
4=#N has not had the best of starts this year and is still working at Level #?. #E rarely completes #h work on time. To achieve more next year #e needs to #How-to-improve.

COMMENTS: See Annotations
1=See annotations on ManageBac for more specific feedback.
2=See annotations on paper for more specific feedback.

LIST: 9B
1=adequate
2=competent
3=sophisticated

LIST: 9c1
1=limited
2=adequate
3=considerable
4=a high degree of

LIST: 9c2
1=a limited degree of
2=some
3=considerable
4=a high degree of

LIST: 9c3
1=minimal
2=some
3=substantial
4=perceptive

LIST: 9c4
1=minimal
2=some
3=thoughtful
4=perceptive

LIST: 9c5
1=limited
2=adequate
3=good

LIST: 9c6
1=few
2=some
3=sufficient
4=extensive

LIST: appropriate
1=poor
2=weak
3=reasonable
4=solid
5=carefully considered
6=skilful
7=superb
8=appropriate
9=good
10=very limited
11=interesting
12=varied
13=emotive
14=persuasive
15=limited
16=somewhat lacking
17=minimal
18=some

LIST: B1
1=sophisticated
2=competent
3=adequate
4=minimal

LIST: B2
1=superbly
2=clearly
3=effectively
4=absolutely
5=skillfully
6=competently
7=more or less
8=to some extent
9=reasonably
10=noticeably
11=do not effectively
12=don't

LIST: B3
1=sustained, coherent and logical
2=highly effective
3=sophisticated
4=well structured
5=logical
6=reasonably logical
7=clear
8=somewhat disjointed
9=somewhat confusing
10=poorly planned
11=ill thought out
12=disjointed and confusing

LIST: B4
1=effectively
2=clearly
3=skillfully
4=powerfully
5=accurately
6=ably
7=competently
8=noticeably
9=somewhat
10=to some extent
11=did not

LIST: B5
1=skillfully
2=accurately
3=effectively
4=competently
5=adequately
6=poorly
7=ineffectively

LIST: C1
1=a high degree of
2=perceptive
3=sharply focused
4=extensive
5=excellent
6=considerable
7=substantial
8=thoughtful
9=good
10=sensitive
11=solid
12=careful
13=intelligent
14=a significant amount of
15=adequate
16=some
17=limited
18=minimal
19=little
20=no

LIST: D1
1=pertinent
2=appropriate
3=relevant
4=necessary
5=somewhat fitting
6=inappropriate
7=a poor choice

LIST: D2
1=consistent
2=carefully considered
3=skillfully utilised
4=well expressed
5=competent
6=appropriate
7=reasonable
8=poorly managed

LIST: degreeadverbs
1=always
2=mostly
3=frequently
4=usually
5=carefully
6=partly
7=somewhat
8=occasionally
9=rarely
10=not

LIST: good
1=poor
2=weak
3=reasonable
4=solid
5=carefully considered
6=skilful
7=superb
8=adequate
9=appropriate
10=relevant
11=good
12=great
13=high quality
14=powerful
15=emotional
16=very limited
17=limited
18=somewhat lacking
19=insufficiently developed
20=some

LIST: How-to-improve
1=focus more in the lessons
2=put more time aside for homework
3=try not to chat during lessons
4=do more project research on the internet
5=develop #h computer skills
6=pay more attention to instructions

LIST: IB
1=thoroughly
2=very good
3=substantially
4=good
5=adequately
6=general understanding
7=consistently relevant
8=mostly relevant
9=generally relevant

LIST: IBP2
1=perceptive
2=thorough
3=very good
4=substantial
5=good
6=general
7=consistently relevant
8=mostly relevant
9=generally relevant
10=competent
11=adequate
12=some
13=little
14=almost no

LIST: lang
1=formal
2=informal
3=colloquial
4=irreverent
5=humorous
6=intellectual
7=sophisticated
8=balanced

LIST: levelD1
1=inappropriate
2=limited
3=adequate
4=appropriate
5=skillful
6=accurate
7=competent
8=highly effective

LIST: levelD2
1=does not serve
2=serves
3=effectively serves

LIST: levelD3
1=no
2=limited
3=acceptable
4=appropriate
5=solid
6=competent
7=consistently appropriate
8=highly effective

LIST: levelsadjectives
1=minimal
2=adequate
3=competent
4=logical
5=suitable
6=effective
7=skillful
8=some
9=too little
10=vague

LIST: levelsadverbs
1=minimally
2=adequately
3=competently
4=logically
5=suitably
6=effectively
7=skillfully
8=fairly well
9=reasonably

LIST: myfeelings
1=delighted
2=enthused
3=happy
4=pleased
5=satisfied
6=unhappy
7=displeased
8=concerned
9=deeply concerned

LIST: nnumbers
1=1
2=2
3=3
4=4
5=5
6=6
7=7
8=8
9=9
10=10
11=11
12=12
13=13
14=14
15=15
16=16
17=17
18=18
19=19
20=20

LIST: numbers
1=8
2=9
3=10
4=11
5=12
6=13
7=14
8=15
9=16
10=17
11=18
12=19
13=20
14=21
15=22
16=23
17=24
18=25

LIST: Overall1
1=completely
2=effectively
3=competently
4=somewhat
5=adequately
6=not

LIST: Overall2
1=niche
2=interesting
3=varied
4=exciting
5=powerful
6=informative
7=innovative
8=intellectual
9=well researched
10=thought provoking
11=reasonable
12=adequate
13=decidedly average
14=poorly produced
15=unstructured
16=limited
17=ineffective

LIST: P2A1
1=thoroughly and persuasively illustrated
2=pertinently illustrated
3=adequately illustrated
4=somewhat illustrated
5=thoroughly demonstrated
6=substantially demonstrated
7=adequately demonstrated
8=demonstrated

LIST: P2A2
1=perceptive
2=very good
3=good
4=satisfactory
5=general
6=limited

LIST: P2B1HL
1=excellent understanding of the expectations and many
2=good understanding of the expectations and some subtleties
3=adequate awareness of the expectations
4=some awareness of the expectations

LIST: P2B1SL
1=very good
2=good
3=adequate
4=some

LIST: P2B2HL
1=relevant, focused and insightful
2=consistently relevant and critical.
3=generally relevant and critical.
4=only partly relevant and is mostly unsubstantiated.

LIST: P2B2SL
1=consistently relevant
2=mostly relevant
3=generally relevant
4=mainly unsubstantiated

LIST: podcast1
1=intriguing and interesting
2=interesting and well developed
3=innovative niche
4=exceptionally well researched
5=carefully thought through
6=able to present mainstream content in an innovative way
7=somewhat insightful
8=fairly well researched
9=slightly lacking in depth
10=poorly thought out
11=limited in scope and insight
12=very limited in scope and insight

LIST: podcast2
1=very high quality
2=skillful
3=polished and professional
4=niche
5=solid
6=reasonably high quality
7=competent
8=mainstream
9=somewhat flawed
10=limited
11=poor

LIST: purpose
1=with close attention to
2=relevant to
3=with some attention to
4=with adequate awareness of
5=vague awareness of

LIST: ratlist
1=minimal
2=limited
3=some
4=adequate
5=considerable
6=substantial
7=good
8=thoughtful
9=perceptive
10=extensive
11=superb
12=outstanding

LIST: Science-topics
1=Heating and Cooling
2=Light and Sound
3=Exploring Magnetism
4=Changing Earth

LIST: Time-period
1=year
2=semester
3=1st semester
4=2nd semester
5=3rd semester
6=4th semester
7=term
8=1st term
9=2nd term
10=3rd term
11=4th term

LIST: what-to-do
1=look to expand #h range of vocabulary
2=look to expand #h range of sentence structures
3=look to use punctuation accurately
4=be writing clear, concise sentences
5=try to link between paragraphs
6=use much more transitional vocabulary
7=examine more closely the model exemplars
8=be using more integrated, judiciously chosen evidence
9=give much more contextual information if possible
10=consider analysing with more sensitivity and nuance
11=show more knowledge of stylistic features



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